Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Do you love your family but react negatively to them at the same time? Have you felt judged by people who are supposed to love you unconditionally? Well watch out because we are approaching the holidays – the time of year when a lot of unresolved pain could roar back into your life. In this article I will give you the tools to address and heal old wounds. That means looking at each relationship with new eyes. Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? You sat in a little chair behind a tiny desk. Well, guess what, you now possess a beautiful adult body that no longer fits in that teeny desk or scenario. In the same way, trying to operate from old outmoded thought patterns that continually bring pain no longer work. In the same way, holding on to relationships and memories that need to go, does not serve your highest good. Just because you belong to a family or tribe doesn’t mean you have to allow the expectations and demands of others be a source of unhappiness and stress, especially when what you really want is to be authentically yourself and at peace. Conflicts may appear to be a choice between being authentically yourself and being at war with your relatives, or having “pretend” peace at the price of being phony. Yet, being peaceful and authentic can define your relationship with your family. First, though, you may have to assess your relationship with yourself. In order to change the nature of any relationship, you have to adjust your thinking about it and consider that you are the source of your discomfort, rather than the individual you've labeled as the troublemaker, annoyance and despicable. The rule is that people treat you the way you have trained them to treat you. Over the years, all of these folks have been treating you exactly as you have trained them with your reactions and behaviors. This can miraculously change when you choose to be at peace with everyone in your life—most particularly, your relatives. If the focus of your internal dialogue about your relationships is it on what they're doing wrong, then that's precisely how your relationship with them will be experienced. If your mind-chatter centers on what's annoying about them that will be your focus. But if you're thinking, I am authentic and peaceful with this relative, then that's what you will experience—even if that person continues to be exactly the way he or she has always been. In other words, make your decision about yourself and stand by it. Often we busy ourselves deciding how others should be and then when they are not that - respectful, considerate, kind, thoughtful - we are angry. This is a victim mentality. We are the victim and they are the perpetrators. The problem with this conclusion is that we make ourselves weak and at the mercy of others. Plus, we are not taking into account who and what that person has chosen to be. In other words, actions speak louder than words. What do they do and why? This examination requires looking at each person objectively. For instance, if Aunt Hannah has a knack for finding something wrong with everything, it is good to understand that is her quirk. It is not your job to change her. In reality, she is making herself miserable and you don’t have to volunteer to be her sidekick and also unhappy. In other words, accept Aunt Hannah as the critical person she chooses to be and let go. If cousin Harvey likes to make fun of people because that is how he feels better about himself, accept that he has chosen this behavior and by correcting or reacting to him, you have given him exactly what he wants – attention. Cousin Harvey is that way. He feels inferior. Accept it. Don’t take it personally. The key to happiness is taking care of your own business and letting others take care of theirs. In time you might find these strange behaviors humorous, even quaint. The unalterable and ever effective way to experience peace is forgiveness. Your relatives are simply doing what they have been taught to do over lifetimes of their predecessors. Perhaps they have never questions these tactics. A wise, grounded person steps away from others’ judgments and expectations and chooses instead to shower these same folks with compassion and forgiveness. You are literally doing what masters have suggested for eons. Forgive them for they know not what they do. In other words, they don’t understand that they hurt themselves more than they hurt anyone else. They have wounds that do not allow such introspection. Rather than keeping yourself stressed, be radical and decide to be grateful for their presence in your life as it offers an opportunity for growth. This is like the Buddhist monk who, when informed that he would be dealing with a very difficult teacher, said, “Oh good; I can practice!” True, life is nothing if not practice. Each time you let go of struggle and anxiety, you grow a bit stronger and wiser. So, yes, holidays are for practice. There is also a bonus likelihood that you will see dramatic changes in your relatives as you instruct them with your own persona. But if they don't choose to modify, and they continue their conflicting, intrusive ways, release your need to convert them. Love them warts and all. Your work is YOU anyway. As you embrace peace, you increase the odds of others doing the same. It is all a matter of choice. If accepting people for who they choose to be is too much, then find another way to enjoy the holidays. The point is nothing they do has anything to do with you. Each person is expressing his own level of development. The quicker you come to terms with it, the faster you grow and transform – the caterpillar becomes the butterfly!!! Have fun!! Jean Walters is a St. Louis Transformational Coach specializing in empowerment. Her books: Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! and Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! are available on Amazon.com - you can reach her through her website: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com
Monday, September 11, 2017
The saying goes, “God does not make junk.” In other words, you are valuable. Remind yourself daily. Talk to yourself out loud and affirm your value. As a child, Academy Award-winning filmmaker Brian Grazer was informed that he was not a good student. This occurred at a time before learning disorders were diagnosed. He was programmed with the idea that he was not smart. His report cards reinforced this as well. His saving grace was his grandmother, who readily reminded him that he was special. The 2007 Entertainment Weekly’s “The 50 Smartest People in Hollywood” listed Glazer as Number 11. So much for not being smart! Also in 2007, Grazer was chosen by Time Magazine as one of the 100 Most influential People in the World. Brian Glazer credits his success to curiosity. Throughout his life, he turned his insatiable curiosity to connecting with people and learning their stories. These stories inspired his award-winning movies and television shows. He comments, “I like learning stuff. The more information you can get about a person or a subject, the more you can pour into a potential project. I made a decision to do different things, I want to do things that have a better chance of being thought of as original. I do everything I can to disrupt my comfort zone.” Glazer outlined his use of curiosity in his book, A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life. Glazer has made movies and television programs for more than twenty-five years. Over his career, his movies and television shows have been nominated for a total of fifty-two Oscars and ninety-four Emmys. His movies have generated more than $13.5 billion in worldwide theatrical, musical, and video grosses. Consequently, if you start doubting your worth, remember Brian Glazer. He did not let his teacher’s opinion define him. Glazer admittedly loves challenging himself and the results are tangible. What you focus on increases. Therefore, focus on your worth and it will increase. Decide what makes sense for you and do it! Fulfill your curiosity. What others think reflects on them and not you. Choose self-empowerment by following your own soul urgings. This blog was taken from the book: Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others Have and You Can too! (Available on Amazon.com or go to www.jeanwalters.com to order.) Also, Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! also available on Amazon.com Good luck and many blessings! Jean Walters
Compassion Compassion is key. That is the lesson now...compassion with everyone. You are in a process. We pass through different phases as we grow and you are to learn how to work with each phase. To be unattached from negative energy is necessary. Negative energy is attack energy and a defense against love. So you are to “see” what is happening and accept it. You can even have compassion for another’s need for drama, confusion, and distraction because that is the phase they are experiencing. Marion and Laura were in conflict. It seemed that Laura was a wounded child and Marion, the adult. They each desired partnership but went about it in completely different ways. Laura acted out as a wounded child and when she didn’t get her way became self-destructive. (By the way, this is not an unusual reaction.) Marion picked up the pieces but withdrew a bit more with each tantrum. She wanted a partner, not a sullen child to raise. Then a miracle happened, Laura was in a car accident and the dynamic and energy between the two changed. Laura was paralyzed and Marion became the caregiver and they aligned in mutual purpose. Laura rose in adult interaction and finally there was partnership. Then each moved to a new state of mind. Laura’s needs are still the focus (she is physically disabled), but that is okay because she has matured and provided Marion with a thoughtful companion. Marion does not need much – just a partner to share her life and adult communication. She is spiritually focused and self-replenishing for the most part. Laura, having been the wounded child (not nurtured as a child), was loved by Marion who provided safety and compassion. Laura never had that. Thus they grew together. Marion stood up to help and Laura lifted herself to receive and both rose in love. People are trapped by different things…. beliefs to be sure – guilt, obligation, fear, anger, shame, self-blame and sabotage. They react from these self-made prisons. They internalize events and become wounded and frail. Partnership is off the table as long as one is imprisoned in self-blame and denial. There cannot be equanimity because wounds take up so much time and attention. Marion and Laura are great examples. Even though there are physical limitations, there is spiritual healing. The one who was spiritually centered elevated in love. That made it safe for her partner to heal her childhood wound and mature. We are to move on, to be in the space of God (love) and allow ourselves to be led. This is the lesson. There is purpose in each interaction and event. You are guided as you keep your heart open. Listen with your soul. Let go of heaviness, judgment, blame, and unfairness. So life seems unfair – so what! Maybe it is unfair when you look at with human eyes and maybe it is totally fair, abundant and glorified when you seek a deeper meaning. Laura and Marion each got what she wanted. It just came in a way no one would have imagined. Check out Jean Walters' books: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! - Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! Available on Amazon.com Get her email by going go http://www.spiritualtransformation.com and clicking on the newsletter button.
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
There she was with a busload of kids eager to sing their hearts out on their first choir tour and right in front of them at their hostel, they watched in horror as a seemingly alarming situation unfolded. A policeman appeared to be harassing an old man who was clearly confused. Marty was shocked as much by the officer and his captive as she was by the people that strode by ignoring them. Is this what police brutality looks like? Whatever was going on, it wasn’t good! The Choir kids were frightened. Here they were in Washington DC on their first tour stop and crazy things were happening. Marty had to take control quick. “Children, this is when we use our voices for power. Let’s sing Happy.” Marty led the way as the Spreading the Love Youth Choir piled off the bus and broke into a rousing rendition of Happy. “Happy, happy, happy!!!“ And the mood changed immediately. Pharrell Williams would have popped his buttons with pride. It was a beautiful sight!! Within seconds the entire environment lightened. The policeman dropped his hold on the “fugitive” and they both relaxed into the rhythm of the song. And, just like that everything adjusted and corrected and the world was made a brighter place. Afterward, the police officer approached the group and said, “That was nice. I just found this man who had gotten lost. I need to get him back home.” He knew that Marty and her kids were keeping an eye on him to make sure he was being kind. He enjoyed that. Later, Marty K Casey, the founder and artistic director of the Spreading the Love Youth Choir from Saint Louis, Missouri found a note the policeman left behind thanking her for helping to “keep the police accountable.” So what Marty and her kids perceived as a dire situation was actually an officer doing his duty and helping a confused, lost man. So, what is the lesson, you say? It is about perception. What appears to be negative may be positive and vice versa. It is easy to misperceive. Be sure and check before you judge! Of course, the other lesson is to use your voice for power. You can walk right past a scary situation or lend your voice to make things better. In other words, bring love to challenge and everything transforms. Yes, we all have the power to make a difference. Jean Walters' books are available on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! and Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! Also, if you are interested in dreams - Dreams and the Symbology of Life, author's name: Jean Walters-Lucy ENJOY!
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
(Tips on how to do Solitude “Right”) by Jean Walters There are moments – we’ve all had them – when the only way to maintain sanity is to disconnect from the world. You know – the times when your head is going to blow up if the phone rings one more time; or, one more person needs something and you are tapped to take care of it; when your head is buzzing and your ears are ringing with too much to do. That is the instant when the cabin in the woods, the “sitting” tree, or the dark, quiet room calls. It would be good to heed the call. Let’s get clear… solitude does not mean retiring to a cave to live with bats or cutting off your phone service, although those ideas might be appealing if you wait too long. The truth is that our neurology needs quiet. It is the way we recover and stay healthy. That is why hospitals tend to be quiet. Recognizing the moment and seeking solitude are two different things. For many, the idea of pursuing alone time is scary. It requires being alone. Yikes! Most people fear being alone. They do not understand that psychically they NEED it, plus there are treasures to be found in spending time with yourself. You might find out that you are quite companionable. We live in an over-stimulated world. Each person has three or more devices, each one ringing or chirping or, in some way, demanding a response. And when we aren’t talking or texting or reading, there are the other distractions – television, play station, youtube; you name it! Bottom line: Your nervous system can’t take it. After a while you start twitching, shaking, and scratching because you don’t know what to do with all the crazy energy coming at you. These are signs! Take them seriously. Take Diane, for instance. Diane is a nice, normal lady who goes off to work at a busy office where the phones are ringing all day, people are needing this and that, and there are tasks to complete and tempers to sooth and paperwork to file and lots of other stuff to do. Essentially, she is the answer person to lots of folks. From there Diane hops in her car, picks up her kids from after school care (who are often over stimulated, tired, hungry, or cranky). She arrives home to cook dinner, water the plants, do the laundry, answer the mail, pay the bills, and spend quality time with her family, which includes helping with homework, correcting, admonishing, instructing, drying tears, and kissing and hugging and bed time. And who knows what else she does before collapsing in bed for a few hours to start all over the next day. But the thing Diane doesn’t do, the thing that is at the very bottom of her “to-do” list, is to give herself quality time by herself to read a book, take a walk, meditate, or just sit and stare. So, you get the point. Diane NEEDS QUIET TIME and so do you! (Are you Diane?) We think that being focused in the material world with all its noise and chaos is the place to be. “I am bored. I need noise, distraction, and stimulus.” But that is not true. The constantly stimulated mind becomes agitated. When your focus is always out there where drama after drama unfolds, the only way to find balance is to turn everything off and focus within to the stillness (more on that later). The idea of leaving the world, even for an hour, frightens the ego as it craves drama. Hence, all the police and political dramas on television these days. Thus you develop fear of aloneness. Here are the ego messages they keep you uptight. See if you recognize any of them. “What is wrong with you – you are alone. You must be unloved and unloveable. This proves that no one wants to be with you. You are a loser.” These are reasons people avoid solitude. This ego babble is how you are convinced that being alone is dangerous. Yes, you might miss something and it will probably be a nervous breakdown. The issue is that we have constructed an identity – a false one – that is dependent on the material world. It starts with your name, then your circumstances. You call yourself a male or female, an American, Indian, European or South Sea Islander, or some locational signature. You also identity all sorts of material conditioning such as tall/short, blonde, grey, or redheaded and various religious ethnicities – Hindu, Jew, Muslim, to name a few. These are external distinctions and designed to fool you in believing that this physical being is who you are. The whole identity fiasco will run you until you go deeper into your psyche and gift yourself the adventure of aloneness. The first inclination when spending time alone is to get busy. Do something. Why? Because you don’t now how to be with yourself and you are running from the unknown. Do something quick; don’t just be. Wash windows, clean something, sort papers, make phone calls. The mind is indoctrinated with busyness, and freaks out when asked to be still. It can even become depressed…. “You are useless, a bum, lazy, good for nothing, blah, blah, blah.” These are fear thoughts that are conjured from old programs planted in your subconscious mind from long ago. They relate to some past identity you have taken on that now rules you. As you calm down and get grounded, you will get pass the ego and all its lies. Now it is time to enter the natural world. Nature is still and rhythmic and primarily peaceful. Go into nature as Jesus or Buddha went to the mountain, the desert, or the Bodhi tree. Go where there is emptiness. That is how you can release stress and noise and rest your mind. Stay for an hour or linger longer. Stay until your mind quiets and then stay longer. Remain until your body relaxes and begins to breathe and then stay even longer. Now you are beginning to experience your inner world. It is in rhythm with nature. In our Western world achieving stillness is monumental. Not so much in Eastern countries where silence is cultivated. Just grant yourself permission and put solitude on your calendar. In time you will get the hang of it and it will nourish you. Even heal you. Remain in solitude until you have forgotten all the roles you play and the ways you clothe yourself with identity. Stay until you become empty. This is peace. Loneliness is not the same as solitude or aloneness. Loneliness is always questing after something. It is painful and demoralizing. It is the feeling of never being or having enough. When you cultivate aloneness, you are at peace. It is like dropping all the makings of the world and listening deeply. There is something that would speak to you. Have you created the inner space for it? Have you opened your heart to receive it? Take time to practice. It will put everything in perspective because when you are alone, nothing else exists. It is like the contentment of the womb. Everything is provided and you are safe and nourished. No wonder babies cry when they leave the peace of the womb. They are essentially leaving the Garden of Eden, where there is love and no stress. As you get stronger, the craziness of the world dissolves and what remains is YOU – vast and still like the forest at dusk or a clear, calm mountain lake. As Socrates said, “Know thyself.” Jean Walters books can be found on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! - Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others Have and You can too! and Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy Jean@spiritualtransformation.com
Compassion is key. That is the lesson now...compassion with everyone. You are in a process. We pass through different phases as we grow and you are to learn how to work with each phase. To be unattached from negative energy is necessary. Negative energy is attack energy and a defense against love. So you are to “see” what is happening and accept it. You can even have compassion for another’s need for drama, confusion, and distraction because that is the phase they are experiencing. Marion and Laura were in conflict. It seemed that Laura was a wounded child and Marion, the adult. They each desired partnership but went about it in completely different ways. Laura acted out as a wounded child and when she didn’t get her way became self-destructive. (By the way, this is not an unusual reaction.) Marion picked up the pieces but withdrew a bit more with each tantrum. She wanted a partner, not a sullen child to raise. Then a miracle happened, Laura was in a car accident and the dynamic and energy between the two changed. Laura was paralyzed and Marion became the caregiver and they aligned in mutual purpose. Laura rose in adult interaction and finally there was partnership. Then each moved to a new state of mind. Laura’s needs are still the focus (she is physically disabled), but that is okay because she has matured and provided Marion with a thoughtful companion. Marion does not need much – just a partner to share her life and adult communication. She is spiritually focused and self-replenishing for the most part. Laura, having been the wounded child (not nurtured as a child), was loved by Marion who provided safety and compassion. Laura never had that. Thus they grew together. Marion stood up to help and Laura lifted herself to receive and both rose in love. People are trapped by different things…. beliefs to be sure – guilt, obligation, fear, anger, shame, self-blame and sabotage. They react from these self-made prisons. They internalize events and become wounded and frail. Partnership is off the table as long as one is imprisoned in self-blame and denial. There cannot be equanimity because wounds take up so much time and attention. Marion and Laura are great examples. Even though there are physical limitations, there is spiritual healing. The one who was spiritually centered elevated in love. That made it safe for her partner to heal her childhood wound and mature. We are to move on, to be in the space of God (love) and allow ourselves to be led. This is the lesson. There is purpose in each interaction and event. You are guided as you keep your heart open. Listen with your soul. Let go of heaviness, judgment, blame, and unfairness. So life seems unfair – so what! Maybe it is unfair when you look at with human eyes and maybe it is totally fair, abundant and glorified when you seek a deeper meaning. Laura and Marion each got what she wanted. It just came in a way no one would have imagined. ____________________________ Would you like to have a deeper understanding of Biblical teachings regarding love, healing, how to claim your inheritance as a child of God? All of this is available in the book: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! by Jean Walters · Symbolism in the Bible & other holy books · The supremacy, power and potential of love as the energy of change · What are your demons (fears)? How to release them. · Tools to free yourself · Personal Transformation and claiming your inheritance You can order through Amazon.com; rdreedpublishers; and my website: spiritualtransformation.com Questions: Jean Walters 314 991 8439 office / 314 566 5231 cell email@example.com _________________________________
Monday, August 7, 2017
Stay Calm, no matter what Managing Emotions for Peace of Mind There is a story about a rider and horse that came galloping rapidly down the road. It seemed as though the rider had somewhere important to go. Another fellow, standing on the roadside, shouted, “Where are you going?” The man on the horse answered, “I don’t know. Ask the horse.” The horse symbolizes our habitual energy. The story depicts how we usually live at the mercy of old habitual energies that have been established by our surroundings and mindlessness, but not by conscious intention. Thus, our horse, our habits pull us along, making us run here and there without even knowing why. If you stop and ask yourself, “Why am I running around so much?”, you might have an answer, but it is never a good one. You are just used to it. That is how all of us have been taught to live. If you ask people why they are a Lutheran, a Baptist, a Pentecostal, a Presbyterian, a Democrat, a Republican, a blue-color worker, a business owner, a horseback rider, a poker player, or anything else, much of the time the answer will be because their parents were or because they were raised that way. In other words, they don’t have a good reason. They are simply following the habits of their upbringing. As much as they gallop here or there, proclaiming this or that, it gets them nowhere. You need to take the reins and let the horse know who is in charge. You are the boss. You have always been the boss. So, start acting like it. This story is also a metaphor for the way we let our emotions run away from us. We have established habits of reacting to things without clear, focused intention. To be the boss, we have to govern, not suppress our emotions. We have to calculate when and how we react. To do this, we must discover the bigger picture of emotional management. Our thoughts are electrically charged and our feelings are magnetically charged. Our brains evolved biologically from the past and are rigidly programmed with tribal beliefs and memories. Consequently, our emotional reactions are also programmed from past orientation. We tend to repeat the same circumstances over and over because they are the ones imprinted in our psyche. If you want to expand your present and future, you must change the pictures in your mind. If, for instance, you would like to be rewarded more abundantly at work but relate to an old image of low wages and being passed over for promotion, you would have to create an impassioned, deeply felt new mental movie of being applauded at work and abundantly rewarded. You would have to feel jubilation when you receive your paycheck and internally experience the pride of promotion. You would have to feel yourself smiling, joyously dancing in celebration. This new magnetic-feeling energy would have to be repeated until you have replaced the old images of lack and discouragement. As you go through this mental movie, you are altering your neurology and, as your neurology adjusts, your body functions better. Overall, your health improves. The body was made to operate in high energy, in joy. Notice that babies are happy until taught otherwise. The happier you become, the better you feel. An interesting fact is that the mind and body do not know the difference between a real and an imagined experience. So, as you live in this new movie/broadcast of great reward and abundance, your mind, body, and neurological system accept it as real. The more you enter and feel the movie, the closer you identify with these new circumstances, and you will, ultimately, see the manifested results in your life as opportunities show up to fulfill your desires. Many people won’t imagine a new life because they are afraid. They are so used to living a certain way, even though it is not a happy existence. They are intimidated with newness and will not venture into the unknown to create something new, even though they really want it. It does take courage to gamble on a new way or to travel a new path. Sometimes, the situation has to be so bad that a resistant person finally gives in and tries a new way. That is the painful approach. Changing Your Emotional Identification People tend to identify themselves by their emotions. Angry people have a hard time believing they can be peaceful. Depressed people identify with sadness and spend little or no time remembering happy moments. Instead, they take pills to adjust their neurology. Consequently, the same repeated memories keep them trapped. To shift to a new paradigm may seem daunting, but it can be done and is done all the time. It starts with training. What are you willing to dream? Can you dream a new reality and become impassioned by it? Just as I described doing the candle concentration exercise to develop strong concentration skills in the beginning of this book, you can do an identical process to adjust your emotional, magnetic resonance. You hold your attention on what you want and feel it. You keep your mind focused and, in so doing, lay down the tracks for future life experiences. This practice has to be repeated until it becomes your natural, default way of thinking. You are creating new neural pathways. It is the same as pulling up weeds. To keep that space clean, you consistently plant new seeds. The seeds eventually take hold, and you become a new person with a new reality. Jean Walters' books are available on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too - live your bliss. AND Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy You can find her at http://www.spiritualtransformation.com