Tuesday, January 15, 2019

5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship: How to Be Adult in Relationships by Jean Walters I recently discovered a book called “How to be an adult in relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving,” by David Richo, phD. I loved the title and decided to investigate a bit. I have been in private practice as a transformational coach for over 35 years and much of it spent talking to people about relationships and it seems to me that there are a lot of illusions about what connecting and relating to one another person is supposed to look like. For starters we do not live in a Cinderella- Prince Charming world. Nor is it a Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming (that guy gets around) reality. And it is my belief that these fairy tales have played havoc with our view of real-life connection and commitment because they are not real and often people want to use them as templates for their flesh and blood relationships. Plus I’ve noticed that the way people treat their special love relationship, as opposed to the way they treat their friends, is very different. This is unfortunate because we often give our friends a wide berth while we hold our loved ones with tight expectations. Getting back to Dr. Richo, I quote: “Love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” This one statement eliminates a lot of complications. What love is and what the component of a healthy relationship really is! Dr. Richo states that there are five keys to being present to the people you love. They are: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Let’s give each one of these some thought. We often meet someone and desire a connection. So we start by giving that person a lot of attention. This could be meetings, phone calls, text messages, emails, one-on-one time. Then as commitment or marriage follows, there is a sense of taking that person for granted, and the attention begins to wane. “You have them.” And the demands of life take over. The problem is that you don’t “have them” because attention is one of the elements needed to keep a relationship alive and healthy. With a friend you might have certain rituals that hold true. You talk to him/her everyday (think Oprah and Gayle). You have lunch or dinner weekly; you use them as a sounding board. In that regard, consider what kind and how much attention or ritual you give to your loved ones. Do you have dinner together daily, or a weekly date night? Also, do you accept these people – warts and all! Often with our friends we do just that. It is just as important to provide that same level of acceptance to our spouses, children, and ultimately everyone. We are all hanging out in the earth to learn important lessons and often these lessons don’t come easy. This is true for everyone. Have you noticed - there aren’t any perfect people running around - just folks doing their best. Be careful that you don’t have rules for people and they are expected to live by them. Folks need to make up their own rules. Next appreciation. Make a point to show appreciation. A note, a phone call, remember important occasions, say thank you. Tell the people in your life why you are happy they are there. Be demonstrative. Affection is something you do. It may be a pat on the back or a smile. It could be a hug or making out. Affection is easily demonstrated. Taking an interest in something that is important to the other person is a form of affection. We all need it and want it. So, give it. Allowing is about accepting the person and his/her values and allowing them to be exactly who they are. If they like to play basketball one night a week, you get out of the way and let that happen. You may not like basketball, but they do. So be it. The truth is that if something is important to your spouse or friend, they are going to do it and if they don’t, they will become resentful. The question is, does this activity make them better or worse? Allowing boys’ poker night, or girls’ night out, or going to a restaurant that is not your first choice, is okay. There is no loss in allowing, only benefits. Enjoy!! Jean Walters is a Transformation Coach who helps people solve problems, see a vaster picture, look deep into life and relationships by offering coaching and Akashic Readings. Check out her website: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com or call 314 991 8439

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Intuition - What it is and Can You Trust it?

I am frequently asked about intuition… what is it? How do I know if I am connected to it? How do I know if it is real and not something I made up? Hey, great questions. Let’s explore the answers. As an intuitive, Akashic Record reader, and coach, I rely on my intuition in both business and personal life. I check each decision to make sure it is aligned with my highest purpose. That is a most important function of intuition, to keep you on track. Intuition is also the guide to your Highest Intelligence. Thus the query, would you rather be given advice from your High Self or your ego? Hence cultivating your intuitive voice is probably the most important thing you will ever do. It makes your life easier, less stressful, and smoother. I think of it as helping me get to my destination as the crow flies – or, the shortest path. As a professional intuitive, I depend on my still small voice for insights and instructions in every situation. When I work with clients, I am guided to the right energy, symbols and scenarios that supply the most meaning and impact for them. The messages that come through my channel are relatable, practical, and provide my clients the quickest way to accomplish what is needed and I mean as the crow flies. The truth is that we live on many levels. The physical/material world happens to be the heaviest (densest) energetically. The finer realms, where intuition resides, are clear, insightful, and packed with wisdom. By following your intuition, you will discover ways to heal and to express your highest energy, passions and goals. What is Intuition? Intuition is the still, small voice that dwells within that guides, and sometimes prods us. It informs us if something is right or wrong for us and it offers insights about situations and relationships. We are often tuned to it when we are quiet and heart focused as opposed to being in our analytical head or ego. When we dash through life, letting our intellect (head) lead the way, living by rigid rules and forced decisions, we are continually distracted by external noise and unable to listen deeply. The material world is loud, dramatic and demanding. As a result, we find it difficult to cultivate the deep inner listening necessary to access inner wisdom and life becomes chaotic and difficult. To connect to inner knowing, we must step away from external noise. Take a break; stop. Go to the heart, sit quietly and listen. You can begin with five minutes a day. This allotted time will naturally expand as you develop mental discipline. Is it real or are we making it up? There are studies that illustrate the benefits of intuition. A 2015 study presented in the Journal of Positive Psychology indicates that intuition is particularly beneficial when a person is stressed or under pressure. It states that intuitive processes often lead to conclusions of higher value than rational-analytic methods of reasoning. Another Forbes article states that scientists and researchers has proven that intuition is the highest form of intelligence. It is noted that gut feelings, hunches, or the still small voice of intuition contain power, insight, and truth. In fact, it offers far more than insight than the data available in the outside world. We can use these faculties together. Use reason to back up intuition in much the way that Einstein did. He would intuit a premise (the speed of light or the law of relativity) and then go to work with his logical mind to find the formulas to back it up. What’s the benefit? Our intuition never lies or steers us in the wrong direction. When we dwell in the intuitive mind, we develop clarity because fear is displaced with love. It is vital to never make a decision out of fear because it leads to conclusions that may seem appropriate on paper but are ultimately bad as they are reactionary and do not take in the long view of a situation. Fear drowns out intuition and blocks forward movement. It is restrictive, confining, and shortsighted. Love is expansive whereas fear constricts and creates anxiety. We may get an intuitive don’t do it signal, but the energy around that message is lighter and more insightful than the energy of fear. As you observe, intuition feels right, and there is a sense of clarity with it. When connected to your intuition, you feel calm. Peace is indicative of truth and conclusions come easier. Even with a "don’t do it " or "this is a bad idea" message, there is still a sense of ease. In fact, intuition never goes against your desire; it is actually moves you toward it. And clarity always produces confidence. How does it speak to us? There are a variety of ways that your inner voice can speak to you. Feelings are important – a sense of peace or repulsion conveys choices. With clarity and lightness you know you are on the right path; when repulsed you know you are not. Your body does not know how to lie and you can be easily guided when you listen to it. Dreams (day or night) are another way to receive messages. Dealing with dreams symbolically helps you understand the urges coming through. A person who dreams of being a super hero will probably become one – perhaps not with a cape and laser gun, but still a superhero. He may discover a new way to accomplish a purpose, heal an illness, rocket to space, or develop a higher technology. Recently I had a client who dreamed of earthquakes, floods and disaster and knew she must leave her job as it was having a negative effect on her. Another client met her beautiful, unconditionally loving mother in her dreams and was told that she is doing everything as she should and to continue. Both understood that they were being guided. Intuition also shows up in symbols. When I see ambulances, police cars, and fire trucks, I am alerted to be attentive to what I am doing. To stay grounded. Or, you may see a word that shows up everywhere you go, SLOW DOWN; or an animal, like a deer, which instructs you to be gentle. Or a hawk that bears the message to take the long view. Indeed the Universe communicates through intuition in many ways. Some exercises to Connect with Your Intuition 1) Get in touch with your authentic self. Through our lives we have buried and hidden our true selves under personalities and behavioral roles in order to stay safe and acceptable. We have paid a huge price for this as we end up creating blocks against recognizing our innate gifts and purpose. We must drop these false personas and get honest. You know what you love to do, how you love to express, and the things you find distasteful. These truths have been evident from the time you were a small child. If possible, connect with someone who can help you peel away the layers to free yourself and connect with your true self. By doing this, your intuition will get stronger and louder. Gaining clarity on “who you truly are” will assist you in letting go of the past and learning to love yourself. It is an essential shift as intuition resides in love. If you disdain yourself, you stay boxed in fear and closed-mindedness. Our higher self — the source of intuition — is pure love. Loving yourself stabilizes your connection to your intuition. Learning self-love can be a lifelong journey. Yet the more we accept ourselves, warts and all, flaws and mistakes, without judgment or self-denigration, the more we can live fully in our Higher Selves. 2) A most important practice is to learn to be still. Creating space to be quiet, meditate, breathe, and enjoy nature, will pay dividends. You will discover that connecting with your heart, gut, inner hunches, or intuitive voice gets easier day-by-day. Also, let go of negative or chaotic situations. They are draining. Also remove distractions and clutter. This helps to quiet the noise and drama of life. Within this space, your intuition gains strength. 3) Pay attention to your physical body to notice feelings that come up for you. Perhaps you feel uneasy about a person or situation, or you may feel a strong yes. Whatever you are feeling, take time to connect and explore it. With time it becomes obvious – is this feeling coming from intuition or fear. This is the work that must be done. 4) Another method of listening is channeled writing. Write a question on a piece of paper, take a few deep breaths, clear your mind, and write. You can wait for the words to start flowing or you can make circles on the paper until they surface. Once they do, start writing. Don’t filter, or concern yourself with spelling, grammar, sentence structure, or making sense of it. Keep writing until the words stop coming. Just trust what you are hearing. Your intuition is focused on helping you live your highest life. Often the answers that come are not the ones you think you want. But that goes to trust. Being honest is imperative to developing a strong relationship with your intuition. As you become stronger at trusting your intuition, making choices gets easier. Decisions come faster and are more aligned with what is best for you. Anxiety is minimized, as you don’t agonize, or let your rational/intellectual mind sort everything out. Because you are attuned to your Higher Mind, instant feedback becomes your method and it offers the best option for you. 5) Becoming familiar with your intuitive voice makes is vastly easier to put it into practice. For instance, let’s say you are looking to change jobs. You might start thinking about each job you are considering. Explore the fears, dreams and visions associated with each one. For example, ponder your current job. What does your work environment feel like? Going through the various activities of the job, how do they feel? Does it feel like you are learning something important and does it align with your career goals? How do you feel as you go to work every day? By asking questions, you define the problem. What is it you want to get clear on? Once you determine this, what are some possible solutions? Should you stay or go? And if you do go, what option is best for you — working for another company? Being self-employed? Being a full-time employee or a contract-based employee? Starting a different career? Doing something completely new? Write down various options and let your intuition guide you to what feels best. What feelings show up in your body? The body is a great barometer of truth because it does not know how to lie. It will always give honest feedback of what you really want. You can mentally rationalize, but your body cannot. What do you feel? Relaxed, relieved, or peaceful? Then your answer is probably yes. Or does your body feel tense, anxious or distressed? If so, you’re being told that the solution you are considering is not the right one. If you are still unsure, imagine going forward implementing each answer. With your imagination engaged, you will get immediate intuitive feedback. By imaging the new scenario, the body will actually feel it because it does not know the difference between what is real and what is made up. Visualize doing solution one. Move into it. How do you feel with each step? Are you fearful yet excited or do you feel dread and repulsion? Each feeling is an intuitive guide. Go through each possibility and you will know what is best. Take time to reference if your reactions are fear or love (intuition) driven. Remember, fear feels heavy and restrictive. If you notice that feeling, give yourself time to figure out what you are afraid of. In other words, explore the fear. It is possible the initial fear is not the real fear. By getting to know your fear, you also learn more about yourself. All fear is irrational. Yet, exploring it may help you let it go. To say this differently, the only valid fear is when your life is endangered, like being chased by a bear. More than likely, the fear you feel is a remnant from the past and not really relevant to your situation. Other fears might relate to being embarrassed or failing at a task or someone not liking you. These are the fears that keep you stuck and must be acted on. We are human beings having a learning experience. Listening to your intuition will help you learn. Life is a process and not a destination. When it feels right, walk through the fear and become free. As you use these tools you will create a strong connection to your intuition and your life will flow more easily, you will have more clarity and joy. Jean Walters is a spiritual guide and assist clients in finding their path in life and achieving clarity. She is available at jean@spiritualtransformation.com or 314 991 8439. Her books are available on Amazon.com

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Tips to Develop Your Intuition from a Lifelong Psychic

Tips on developing your intuition Intuition, we all have it. Some use it everyday all the time and others don't. Do you listen to your head or your heart? Head = intellect; heart = intuition (deeper knowing). Intuition can show up as feelings, a great idea, a symbol presented in your life (a sign, a person, an animal, or even a situation). In fact, everything, when viewed from your Higher Mind, has significance and everything is a symbol of some sort. All can be used to guide your growth. Jesus said, "You shall know them by their works." He said works, not words. Often we get confused because people say one thing and do another. A radical example would be the fellow who says I love you and then smacks you. Words say one thing; actions state a completely different reality. A person is completely out of integrity when his words and actions don’t match. You are out of integrity if you believe him. My suggestion is that you ignore what people say and pay close attention to what they do. Is this person kind to the little people – waitresses, cab driver, and store clerks? Actions reveal the person. When we pay attention, we begin to observe life rather than be entangled in it. The more we observe without judgment (just watch it like a movie), the more we can cultivate our deeper sense of intuition. Why? Because we are no longer distracted with intellectual illusions. Once we become entangled with people or situation and make judgments, feign outrage, become attached, we lose our edge. That means we are distracted from the still, small voice that resides within the heart. That is a heavy price to pay. The truth is that love is action, not words. It is amazing to me how people want to be told how much they are loved when their friend or partner is going out of his/her way to show them. Can you see? In this confused state, we put words above actions and misjudge our situation. Yes, we are operating from our head and not our heart. The first step in strengthening your intuition is to FEEL. That means feel the situation you are in, sense the person you are with, notice the energy in a situation. FEEL it. As you move beyond your intellectual (head) self, you will find your feeling sense will prove a valuable ally guiding you to your right answers and direction. Many people ignore their feelings and that is a BAD mistake. Your feeling sense is to be trusted but it must be in the moment. That means that if you had a terrible experience with a tall Italian man in your past and now you react badly to all tall, Italian men, it is not your intuition speaking to you, but a past memory. It may take time to sort out memories versus true gut sensations. With practice, this can be done. Practice FEELING and be willing to be wrong, because for sure your intellect will try to interfere. Nevertheless, practice makes perfect. When Jesus healed the blind man, the Pharisees (who represent our “letter of the law,” follow-the-rules mentality – rational but not intuitive) challenged him and said you must be a devil (evil) because you did something out of the ordinary and you had the nerve to help this guy out on the Sabbath – a time of rest. In other words, you broke the religious law of the time and that makes you bad. These Pharisaical thoughts, and everyone has them, are not spiritual or intuitive. They represent the way we have been indoctrinated. Our narrow beliefs in how things should be. It so concerned the Pharisees that Jesus healed on the Sabbath that they wanted to get rid of him, stone him. Think about it… you do a kind act – do you second-guess yourself – maybe they won’t appreciate it, maybe I gave too much or too little, perhaps they won’t understand or I overstepped the boundaries, yada, yada, yada. This second-guessing is Pharisaical. These are the thoughts that talk you out of living spontaneously, spiritually, and in love. They are based in egoic materialism in that they attempt to convince you to rationalize who you are instead of striving to feel the deepest compassion, love and kindness that you are and to operate from that. If you were listening to your deep love (heart) what would you do today? Can you do it without second-guessing? Can you do it now? There are different levels of intuition. Some guide you from past experiences as mentioned above – watch out for the tall Italian guy - and there are deeper levels of intuitive knowing that help you cultivate your highest essence. To access these profound levels, you must become non-judgmental, non-attached to specific outcomes, and non-resistant to what is. If you have not developed these qualities, then that is the next work to do. Parting thought: Whatever work you do to strengthen your intuitive understanding will bring you tremendous rewards. As you move your awareness to deeper, more profound levels, you glean peace, joy, wisdom, health, abundance, and knowing. These are the greatest rewards you could ever want. Jean Walters has given over 35,000 Akashic Record Readings in over 35 years, has written best selling books, and consulted and coached thousands of people over her career. You can reach her at 314 991 8439 or jean@spiritualtransformation.com

Monday, November 26, 2018

See with Eyes of Gratitude: This creates miracles

Blog: Look with eyes of Gratitude! A space vehicle is propelled by rockets that fire in a programmed sequence in much the same way as each of us is propelled along life’s journey by other people or events that influence us. Sometimes these influences are profoundly positive and create major transitional moments. We look back at them as landmarks on the terrain of our lives. Other times, the person or event may appear negative or ominous. Yet, all serve as catalysts to bring about the change required at the time. They all help us to move along our path, just like the rocket. Everyone can recall events that were turning points and individuals who effected transformation. Your parents obviously fit this category. They provided your first boost into this world and their impact stayed with you. As their influence waned, the next rocket may have been a friend or teacher, and the next rocket, a spouse or mentor. Each person provided the exact encounter necessary to keep you progressing. Some people and events you welcomed gratefully and others caused you to cringe. Whether a birth or a death, a promotion or divorce, each shaped and molded your character, your understanding, and your wisdom. These occurrences are neutral. Your reaction determines how they impact your life, whether they detract or add value. You choose how you view these events in the same way that you choose how they affect you. You experience gratitude or become somber, humble, or bitter. For example, you are released from a job. You can see it as a doorway to another more exciting career, or you can spiral into victimhood. The choice on how to view the situation is yours. A driver cuts in front of you as you navigate through traffic. A humble person might recognize the driver as panicked or in trouble. He might get out of the way to make room so the other driver can be on his way. Someone else might judge the incident intrusive and decide to compete for the road. The first person does not take the incident personally and remains peaceful. The second one sees it as a personal affront and reacts with anger. In this case, the event colors his day. He will take his response with him wherever he goes. It will touch his interactions throughout the day. It will not add value. It will, instead, diminish him. And so it is with life. We choose to be enriched or diminished. Can you remember the end of a relationship? Were you grateful for having had the experience? Or were you mad that it had ended? If you think of it as a completed phase of your life, would you judge it differently? What does all this have to do with gratitude? The Universe is magical. It is ever providing the twists and turns we need to become the person we are to be. As you look back, see with eyes of gratitude all the experiences and people you have magnetized into your life to help you become the amazing being you truly are! I am grateful to you for allowing me to share! This excerpt if taken from my newest book, Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others Have and You can Too! You can purchase it on Amazon.com or http://www.spiritualtransformation.com Reach me at jean@spiritualtransformation.com

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

The Art of Givingness (the other side of thankfulness)

Sometimes people approach the holidays with resentment. They feel the season’s been commercialized; they focus on the buying and doing aspect of the holidays and lose the possibility of joy. Yet the principle of giving is inherent in the season, thus the potential for learning how to give is an immediate undertaking for everyone. It would seem that re-framing the way we interpret the quality of giving could change our response to the holidays. Happiness lies in the spirit of giving. Often this feeling of the spirit of givingness is felt more around the holidays than any other time, and this is a wonderful thing. Yet, we don’t have to limit our experience for we could make every day a kind of Christmas. The confusion lies in the idea that we must give “things”. For often with the giving of things, there are strings attached, and that takes away the joy. However when we give freely, without conditions, reservations, recriminations, attachments, we become the greatest recipients of our gifts because that kind of giving is accompanied by feelings of great joy. We can develop the SPIRIT of givingness and experience it daily. The greatest gifts anyone can give are time, energy, and wisdom. This is similar to the axiom that to teach a man to fish is better than to give him a fish. If you give a man a fish, he will need another in a few hours, for one fish cannot satisfy hunger for long. Yet, if you teach the man how to fish, he can satisfy his need for fish as often as he chooses. Giving in this way creates growth because it moves you out of your small (egoic) self and helps you see a bigger picture -- the needs of others. Plus you get to see the value of what you give. A few moments of support to someone in need is invaluable. Some words of support can save a life. This is the way we learn the true meaning of love. Giving your knowledge, experience and wisdom unconditionally leads to joy. This is not meant to down-play giving material gifts. What is important is that whatever you give comes from the heart. Then practice giving without concern for a return. Soon you will discover that your givingness fills you and that everything you need or want, you have. Jean Walters is a best selling author, teacher, counselor, and Akashic Record reader. You can reach her at 314 566 5231 or jean@spiritualtransformation.com

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

The Universal Law of Gratitude

The Universal Law of Gratitude The law of gratitude dictates that you value your current job position and customers. By doing this, new opportunities and customers readily present themselves. Gratitude is a law of nature. When we accept and are at peace with our circumstances, things begin to change naturally, easily. Sincere gratitude sows the seeds that blossom in abundance. It is a principle of nature and it is magnetic. When people feel acknowledged and appreciated, they more readily acknowledge and appreciate you. When you are grateful for all you have experienced and achieved, even the bad stuff, your life expands. Your understanding that hardship and challenge build the characteristics of strength and leadership becomes apparent. You need these qualities to achieve whatever goal you desire. There is a science to gratitude. As you explore the energy of gratitude, you will discover a great law of prosperity. When you genuinely feel grateful, your energy rises and expands. It aligns with your Divinity. It connects you to God. You can even feel it. Think of something or someone for which you are grateful. Notice the feeling in your body as you do this. It feels light and expanded. Now consider someone or something for which you feel annoyed, angry, resentful, or critical. You will notice your body shifting to a restricted state. The energy is tight. It might even burn because anger is inflamed energy. Be sure to bring yourself back to gratitude. As you observe more and more, your choice will be gratitude. You have the ability and responsibility to choose where you place your mind. You must develop the discipline to keep it focused on where you want it to be. That means what outcome do you desire. The mind has no choice but to abide by your wishes. For the most part, people do not recognize that they have this ability. This kind of mental training alters the projector of your life. As your projector changes, your life follows suit. Be willing to train your thoughts, and you will find the benefits astounding. When you generate thoughts of gratefulness, it is equivalent to having all ready received. Gratitude for having already received your desire immediately magnetizes the energy needed to manifest it in your space-time reality. The Quantum Field of energy, that in which we live, breath, and have our being, receives the impressions of your thoughts. As stated earlier, it is mutable, like Silly Putty. It automatically assumes the shape, intensity, and quality of your thoughts. In other words, your thoughts are a template for this mutable energy to take form. Magnetic thoughts of gratitude expand energy and bring more of what you appreciate to you. Have you ever wondered what your true capabilities are? According to philosopher, Goethe, “Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. Begin it now.” Jean Walters is a best selling author of Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too!, Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live, and Dreams and the Symbology of Life - all available on Amazon.com You can reach her at jean@spiritualtransformation.com or 314 991 8439

Monday, October 29, 2018

How to Switch off Negative Chatter and Have More Fun!!!

Most people have been handed a lot of negativity as they grew up. The grown up (parents, teachers, television, everybody), not knowing the detrimental effects of put-downs or criticism, and being frustrated in their own lives, often and unknowingly, projected their own programmed fear to their children. “Are you ever going to get it right?” “What’s wrong with you?” “How could you be so stupid?” Or it could be subtle – a disappointed sigh or disdainful look. (You: Oh, I let them down again! I’m not good enough.) After a bit, we internalize the criticism and they don’t have to say a word because the negative “program” is imprinted in our minds and it becomes a default button when things go badly. At this point, the program has become a neural pathway in your brain and presents as habitual negative chatter. The question is: What to do about it? The answer is to reframe your limiting beliefs. Here are some steps to do that. First: recognize when you have negative chatter. That can be as easy as noticing how you feel. If you feel angry, resentful, victimized, even bored, you have negative chatter. Then notice your body. Where are you feeling tight? Clenched jaw, teeth grinding, knot in your stomach, lump in your throat, making a fist, tight shoulders or back? Your body never lies and it will always reveal your thoughts. Then, focus on one tight area and ask yourself, what have I been saying to myself? Do this as you release the tension. A great way to get in touch with your tension is to write about it. When you focus on your rigid jaw and ask yourself, what have I been thinking? Your brain dump can be, “I’m mad that I didn’t get the promotion at work. Or, I feel ignored at parties. I think I got a raw deal with something.” Brain dumping on paper is a great way to release negativity. You can keep a brain dump journal. When you have fully expunged the negativity, create a little ritual of tearing up the paper or throwing it in the fireplace. Some people go so far as to bury it. Your choice! The next step is where things get interesting because it involves two parts. Part one is actually confronting the negativity straight on. For instance, “I always get passed over for promotion” or “things never turn out well for me” is addressed with a question – is that true? It is up to you to come up with evidence of validity. And, if you do find legitimate proof, the next question is, “why have I chosen to direct my life that way?” Now you are moving into “victim” territory. Living with victim mentality is highly destructive because you have set a life course for disaster and unhappiness. Truth: Victims are NEVER happy and they are very often attached to their victim whoa is me life. It can be their claim to fame. I have actually seen people exit a positive, uplifting talk or workshop and immediately look for someone to tell their “victim” story. That person needs a hobby. You get the point. Once you have confronted your “story,” the second step is to make up a new one. Whereas the first part of the process is a brain dump, this part is a brain shift. You literally have to shift your mind to a positive possibility. If you don’t’ do this, your mind automatically defaults to our old negative position. That is because you have invested many years into the “poor me” scenario. Thus your new story will need a fair amount of reinforcement to become a neural pathway. Therefore, if your old rendition is, “I’m not good enough,” start your new tune with, “ I am more than good enough.” Think about your positive attributes such as kindness, gentleness, patience, generosity, being a good listening, keeping your word. (Everyone has positive qualities.) Follow that with what life looks and feels like to be more than good enough. Example: “people love to hang out with me.” Visualize people inviting you to hang out and laughing and having fun together. Visualize an active social life. Or, visualize people asking you for feedback or assistance at work and how good it feels to help them out and how much they appreciate you. Another example: “Things never go my way.” First step find the evidence. Is this a true statement? Why do I want to hold on this idea? What do I want my new story to be? Visualize a new scenario – serendipitous things happening all the time. People give you the right of way, you buy one item and receive two because today we have a special. Compliments fly at you from everyone! You get the idea. The next very important step is to ask yourself if you really want this new positive life and if so, why? It is vital to have positive motivation to keep yourself moving. If your intent to change is not solid, you will put out a half-hearted effort and then say the process doesn’t work. Truth: it only works if you work it. If you receive a lot of rewards for having a sad story, you may not be ready to change. Answer truthfully, are you ready to release negative chatter and move to a more joyful experience? Here is a summary of the process: · Recognize the negative chatter. Notice it. · Feel the negative energy and determine where the tension is in your body. · Challenge the negative chatter. Is it true? What is the truth? · Decide if you want to keep the “poor me” story going forward or create a new one. · Design a new story with positive feelings and affirming thoughts. · I’m adding a bonus step – be grateful. Grateful you noticed the negative chatter, you challenged it, and you are creating and experiencing a new outcome. Do this over and over until it becomes your default process and soon the negative chatter will be gone and your life is brighter and you are happy. Comedian Groucho Marx must have gone through this process because these were his thoughts about starting his day. “Each morning when I open my eyes, I say to myself, ‘I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead; tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” Jean Walters is a best-selling author, Transformational Coach, Akashic Record Reader. You can reach her at jean@spiritualtransformaitona.com or 314 991 8439. Website: www.spiritualtransformation.com