Wednesday, January 17, 2018

How to Raise Grateful Children and all about Gratitude!

They call themselves the Mom-Preneurs and they are the creative team behind a new Thanksgiving craze. They have created a "Turkey on the Table" kit that comes with a turkey (not flesh and blood), double-sided feathers that are replacable, a marker, and a storybook on "how to make the most of your bird" that is sure to spark creativity and gratitude. Of course, when I read the article, I immediate converted the methods to be used all year long. We know that during the holidays it is easy to get caught up in gifts and forget the reason for the season. So these bright moms created a way to make gratitude the focus. They wanted to make sure their collective five kids grew up realizing how fortunate they are. They approached Thanksgiving with each child writing something he/she was grateful for on one of the blank turkey tail feathers. (This could be a picture, a word, or a story.) Then he stuck the feather on the bird. By Thanksgiving, the turkey was fully dressed and made a fine table decoration. These gals were inventive enough to create kits that were sold at 1600 stores including Bed Bath & Beyond. And, even more important, their children were excited to write gratitudes each day. Now, if we take this concept a bit further we can come up with other ways to include gratitude in our day. You can have a gratitude jar and each time your child demonstrates he is grateful, you put a marble in the jar and when the jar is full, take him out for a treat. And you can come up with others ways to accomplish the same purpose. What if we practice gratitude all the time? The reason I loved the idea of teaching thankfulness to children is that gratitude is a HIGH spiritual energy and when we express and FEEL it, we attract more of the things for which we are grateful. Gratitude is a magnetic force and can be used for GOOD!! If you listen to people closely, you notice that many have "victim" stories. I am always amazed at how they choose to express how bad things are when we live in such an abundant world. ( I had the flu; my son/daughter lost his/her job; My plumbing needs to be fixed; I slipped and fell.) Of course, when they do this, they lower their energy and if you get involved with their stories, you lower yours as well. Thus consider your choices - raise your energy to experience a better life and more blessings or lower your energy to live in upset and fear. That choice should make it clear! Gratitude is the way!! Jean Walters is best selling amazon.com author: Set yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! and Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! You can reach her for Akashic Readings or Coaching at jean@spiritualtransformation.com

How to Learn to Trust (People, Your Intuition, Life)

Can I Trust My Partner? Many people ask , “How can I learn to trust my partner / friend / spouse etcetera? Yet, the real question is not about trusting others, but learning to trust yourself. Long ago we were handed a set of beliefs and we accepted them without question. Children don’t know how to analyze an idea to determine its truth, but they do know how to feel. For the most part, the concept of intuiting truth or determining what feels right and what doesn’t has been disavowed. In other words, we are taught to believe what we are told and we observe what our parents do, and that becomes out guidance rather than trusting our own feelings. A wisened soul may secretly recognize deception, whereas most folks just go by the rules and do as they are told while ignoring the queasy feeling in their gut that speaks of something being wrong. Hence a problem develops because we buy in to family dynamics and belief systems that are debilitating, limiting, and just WRONG. Here is an example; I am your mother, father, sister, brother, best friend so you should believe what I am telling you. From there you are offered an uninformed opinion or judgment that skews a situation to fit their idea of truth or makes that person look good. Perhaps you ignore your gut feeling that screams, that doesn’t feel right. Thus you go along with their “program” to insure your acceptance in that particular tribe or group. And that is when you destroyed your self-trust. Because you have put others opinions and beliefs ahead of your own, you have lost touch with yourself and the still small voice of intuition that resides within you. The voice is still present, but ignored. You have put the concern for what others think of you higher in your preferences than the guidance that comes from within. Getting back to the theme of how to trust others, we find ourselves in a quandary of mixed thoughts and emotions. You have lost the ability to trust because you have lost your integrity in listening to and following your higher energy (intuition). Because you have not learned to trust yourself, you don’t know how to trust others. Put simply, trust yourself so that you know who else you can trust. The answer is within you. Your still small voice will tell you. Your job is to listen. To take this a bit further, because you have a history of ignoring higher (intuitive) intelligence, you rationalize reasons for being in or staying with unhealthy relationships. In other words, you make up stories: I’ve know Joe (or Julie or Estelle or whoever) since kindergarten (so therefore I should trust her/him). Or my parent told me this, so therefore it is the way to go (even their parent lives an ineffective life). Or, you “wisely” decided that Jim was a good guy because he has a lot of friends and is seemingly well liked. And you naively conclude that if others approve of him and find him trustworthy, then he must be. As a consequence you are letting others do your thinking for you and you have determined a person’s trustworthiness based on his friends. Really! You have not seriously observed his connection with his buds. You are taking everything on face value and you wonder why you end up disappointed. Do they enjoy each other because they play well together? Are these folks a true support system that shows up in difficult times or a play group or good old boys club? Is it that they have grown up together and are still holding on to childhood relationships or sharing in adult concerns? Do they have a common higher purpose that they explore together or is it Monday night football? In other words, what is the nature of Jim’s relationships? No judgment; just observation. As you learn to observe people and relationships, the truth becomes obvious. That is, it becomes clear to you and trusting your own observations helps you develop willingness to be open and honest with yourself. Thus you begin the journey to self trust and drawing your own conclusions based on observation or actions, words, and intention, but not judgment. When people don’t trust themselves, they quickly judge circumstances and people so they can feel safe. Of course there is no safety in hiding and protecting. It is just another avoidance behavior. And when we default into judging, we will never have the life or love we desire. Moving this a bit deeper into self-trust, every person has a connection to their inner guidance as it is always present and available. We call this intuition. This guidance is always active and speaking to us. It can come through as a gut feeling, an image (you hit every STOP light at every intersection), a sign (like a book falls on your head), or a knowing. (an absolute definite feeling of how things are). Intuition is a feeling of lightness and being more alive. As you listen and act on this intuitive voice, it grows in strength and supports you in your hopes and dreams. When you go against it you feel heavy, lack energy, and feel a kind of deadness. People say, “I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do or think.” Primarily that means they have gotten their “instructions” but are afraid to go against what they were taught to believe, so now they are stuck. Afraid to move forward, they are stuck in the past. Generally “stuckness” indicates it is time to do something different, brash, courageous -- take a step in a new direction. If you feel stuck, ask yourself, “What has my still small voice (feelings) been urging or prompting me to do?” Is there some sort of “break-out” required. It will always involve looking at your situation with new eyes. That means asking some appropriate questions – what is this situation trying to tell me? (Cue: it has to be a propulsion forward; it is never a put-down.) What is the change I am being asked to make? What fear am I challenging? What is the next step toward my highest good? You can even write these questions down and ask for guidance. By being open, your answers will come and, be aware, they will not be what you anticipated. You will always be guided toward a higher expression, not necessarily what you would be considered safe. Yet, when you follow this guidance, you will end up exactly wehre you wanted to go or BETTER. The secret is learning how to listen. Remember, you are listening to HIGHER energy. You are not being asked to jump off a cliff. You might be encouraged to make a phone call, set up an interview, take a class, show up at an event, and, in general, become more visible. As you listen and follow, your life force will flow, your intuition will get stronger, and your energy will be renewed. Then you will know how to trust yourself and how much to trust others. Jean Walters is a best selling author on Amazon.com Her books are Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others Have and You Can too (a book about discovering your passion and Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! and Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy - For readings or counseling, you can reach her at Jean@spiritualtransformation.com 1185 words

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

The Power of Giving

Sometimes people approach the holidays with resentment. They feel the season’s been commercialized; they focus on the buying and doing aspect of the holidays and lose the possibility of joy. Yet the principle of giving is inherent in the season. Thus the potential for learning how to give is an immediate undertaking for everyone. It would seem that re-framing the way we interpret giving could change our response to the holidays. Happiness lies in the spirit of giving. Often this feeling of the givingness is apparent more around the holidays than any other time, and this can be a wonderful thing. Yet, we don’t have to limit our experience for we could make every day a kind of giving holiday. The confusion lies in the idea that we must give “things.” For often with the giving of things, there are strings attached, and these strings destroy joy. However when we give freely, without conditions, reservations, recriminations, or attachment, we become the greatest recipients of our gifts because that kind of giving is accompanied by feelings of great joy. Here is a story of a man who owned a flooring store. We shall call him Joe. Joe was very fortunate for he had experienced a great year and much abundance and he felt it in his heart to give from his abundance. Joe was aware of a single mom with three children that lived in his area. It appeared that she was struggling. So Joe went to the bank and got five one hundred dollar bills and put them in an envelope with her name on it. Then that night he went to her house tiptoed to the front door and rang the doorbell. When he heard footsteps approaching the door he quickly placed the envelope in clear sight and disappeared behind a bush. The woman answered the door and spotted the envelope with her name on it and as she opened it she let out a loud Wow!!! And Thank You!!!! into the night air. Joe stayed behind the bush as he wished to remain anonymous, but his heart was bursting with joy. He was so excited he felt like he was going to burst. Months later when he told me the story, he was still beaming with excitement, joy and gratitude? What was Joe grateful for you ask? In his attitude of givingness, Joe received the greatest gift – joy! And whenever he thinks of that night, his joy is reignited. Giving from the heart is the key to happiness. We have many opportunities to give our gifts – talent, enthusiasm, kindness, encouragement, wisdom. The fact is that givingness fills you. May you enjoy this holiday season. Jean Walters is the author of Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! and Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible: Others have and you can too! Both are available on Amazon.com Also: Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy a workbook for learning how to interpret your dreams is available on Amazon.com Jean's website: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

What Could You do if You Could not Fail?

Have you heard the story of the trial attorney who never lost a case? Early in his career, he was advised to “remember his feet.” Thinking about his feet proved to be a way to stay centered. As a result, when he went to court he was ready for whatever happened because he was continually stable and centered. He never lost his cool or reacted. Consequently he was prepared for the surprises that regularly popped up during trials. This is important because when we lose our cool, get angry or intense, or react emotionally, we go in to, or function from, the reptilian brain (emotional brain) and logic shuts down. Alternatively, when we stay non-reactive, centered and focused, we remain open to inspiration and ideas. The dynamic, imaginative higher mind clicks in with strategies and solutions There are various ways to stay centered. For instance, people trained in the Marshal Arts learn to move and act from their core or center. Instead of their feet, they focus on their core (solar plexus). Some call it the abdominal brain. As they practice self-defense techniques, they develop strong core balance, strength, and movement. As a result and most importantly they train to stay connected to their center. In this way, they can feel the energy around them and shift appropriately when it changes. The same thing is true for everyone. The more we stay connected to our inner core of peace, the more sensitive we are to changes occurring around us and our ability to shift and move accordingly is strengthened. That leads to appropriate responses. The boxer, Evander Holyfield, learned this lesson when he was young. As a kid he fought another boy and lost. He went home and told his mother. She said, “Go out there and fight him again.” He went out and battled the kid again and lost again. When he arrived home a second time, his mother said, “Go out there and fight him again.” Holyfield fought the other kid four times. Finally he won the fourth fight. By that time, Holyfield had determined to remain cool and observe his opponent, which helped him to discern his weaknesses. Ultimately he used his developed observation skills to recognize the weaknesses in all his opponents. Holyfield developed the ability to use these to his advantage. In that way he transformed what was initially a fear reaction into a studied, calm response. The result: he became a prize-winning boxer and champion. Actor, Jim Carey offers another example of learning to stay centered. At age 14 he informed his father that he wanted to be a professional comedian. Thereby his dad drove him to a comedy club where Carey was laughed off the floor. Undaunted, Carey took the criticism as a challenge. In other words, he used it to motivate practice, practice, practice, while staying centered. The rest is history. His comedic movies have been major box office hits. The demand for his highly paid movies and performances has accrued him millions. Fear keeps you in the reptilian brain (reactive). Need I say more? When you notice fear has made its appearance, take a few deep breaths and move back to your center. Your center is quiet and you can regroup. If you contemplate the things that don’t work for you, you might discover the reason… too much internal criticism, disempowering beliefs, and no centering. Alternatively notice what works well for you and you might recognize that while doing those particular things you stay focused, relaxed, and have the courage to deal with whatever is necessary, even if it temporarily seems overwhelming. In other words, you are non-reactive and functioning with full capacity. The bottom line is: What could you accomplish if you could not fail? Get centered. You know, remember your feet and go for it! Jean Walters is a St. Louis based Transformational Coach, Akashic Record Reader, teacher and author of Set Yourself Free: Live the Life You were Meant to Live! And Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible – Other have and you can too! her website is: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com - you can find her books on Amazon.com

Thursday, November 30, 2017

The Problem with Giving and Receiving (graciously)!

We are in the throes of the holiday season and facing the prospect of giving and receiving gifts. There are many learned people who have much to say about both. Here are a few quotes: “Those who give cheerfully give twice – once to others once to themselves.” Anonymous “One man gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.” Proverbs 11:24, “To give is to receive, but only if one does not give in order to receive.” Wade Hudson Years ago I learned this lesson. When you give a gift, offer it with love and without concern for how it is received. In other words, you have control over the giving but not the receiving. Give with an open heart and generosity of spirit. The receiver is responsible for how he accepts the gift. Hopefully, he will receive graciously. This is true whether the gift is an object or a compliment. As author, Stuart Wilde says, if someone gives you a gift, perhaps a hideous tie or scarf, receive it. Later you can decide what to do with it. By putting yourself in a receiving state of mind you are instructing the Universe that you are ready and willing to receive. Whether it is a penny lying on the sidewalk, or a beautiful diamond, receive all gifts with gratitude. “Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” Aesop This brings to mind a story published in Guideposts Magazine about an 11 year old girl who asked to receive a stocking as tall as she was for Christmas. Her mom, told family and friends to buy small presents for “Mary Ann.” She wanted things that would fit into a Christmas stocking. Each item was to be wrapped individually. On Christmas Eve, the designated time for opening gifts, Mary Ann’s father and brother went to the back room where the Christmas stockings were hung. There they found a huge red plush stocking with white plush trim across the top. They made a big show of lifting and carrying this enormous stocking (five feet tall by two feet wide) and delivering it to Mary Ann. It was stuffed with presents -- possibly 100 items, each wrapped to perfection. The most impressive part was Mary Ann’s expression as she opened each gift. “Oh, wow, this is exactly what I wanted.” Or, “This is my favorite thing in the world.” Each candy bar, hair barrette, comb, pair of socks, envelope of bubble bath and package of chewing gum was received with the same exuberance. As she reached the bottom of the stocking, she found her “big present” which was a birthstone ring. She received it with appreciation and the same enthusiasm as the other gifts. Yet, she was no more excited by it than all the other small gifts. She accepted each with equanimity. She felt she had received an incredible bounty. Remembering the excitement of this 11 year old on that Christmas Eve has become a family heirloom and retelling the story a holiday tradition. It is true, we may not all receive diamond rings and new cars, but we do all receive bountiful gifts each and every day – a smile, a compliment, someone holding the door, a pat on the back, a beautiful sunset. As you graciously accept them, you are living the spirit of the holidays. Jean Walters is a Transformational Life Coach, Akashic Record Reader, Teacher, and Author. You can find her books on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! and Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! (find your mission and passion) You can reach her at her office 314 991 8439 or jean@spiritualtransformation.com

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Little Blessings become BIG blessings!

Little Blessings become BIG ones! One month after Wil Smith (no, not the movie star) and his girlfriend broke up, she informed him she was pregnant. Will stated he would do whatever he had to do to take care of the baby. At the time Olivia was born, Wil was in the Navy. He knew that if he stayed in the service, he would always be leaving his daughter on deployment. So, he left the Navy and was accepted at Bowdoin College. When Olivia was around ten months old, her mother was having a difficult time and reached a breaking point. Will realized that the best thing for Olivia was to take care of her himself. During his first semester at Bowdoin, he lived off-campus with a roommate and held a cleaning job at Staples at night. Sometimes he took the baby to work with him and hid her in the closet. Being honest with himself, Wil admitted he wasn’t ready for college. He later said to his daughter, “Had I not been able to kiss you good night every night before studying, I would not have had the strength to do it. There were times when the only way I could get through was to check in on you and see you sleeping, then go back to my studies.” In his second semester, a women who worked at Bowdoin helped him move to campus housing. Even though he was the first single father raising a child on campus, things were finally getting better. Wil was grateful to know that Olivia was with him and safe. He appreciated that she was easy to care for. She was quiet, didn’t bother anyone, and adapted to school right away. Wil brought her to class, gave her crayons and other things to do, and Olivia sat sit at a desk and kept herself entertained. Olivia’s first babysitters were Wil’s basketball teammates. He would come from class and find four giant guys and his eighteen-month-old child tearing up the room. He trusted those guys with Olivia. When Will graduated, he carried Olivia in his arms to get his diploma. “They called both of our names. All my classmates stood up and cheered. They gave me the only standing ovation of the day.” As Wil describes it, having Olivia was a drastic change in his life, but it was the best thing that ever happened to him. He told Olivia, “I felt like before you came along, my mother, my guardian angel who passed away on my fifteenth birthday, was looking down from heaven and got tired of me drifting through the universe and said, ‘God, please do something. Send that boy someone to take care of.’” Wil tells that when he was present in the delivery room at Olivia’s birth, “I physically felt something go into my heart. It was a feeling of completeness that I hadn’t felt since my mother had passed.” This gratitude has spread to Olivia, as well. She came home from school to take care of her father when he was sick. She said, “That first week, when I was home from school, I would cook you dinner, and it made me happy being able to care for you, knowing that my whole life, you were doing that for me. You’re my rock.” Wil and Olivia Smith personify gratitude. Gratitude for each other, for the opportunity to make a difference, to offer care, and to really love. Living in gratitude is a law of nature. When you accept and are at peace with your current status, things begin to change naturally, easily. Deep, sincere gratitude sows the seeds that blossom in abundance. This is a principle of nature and it is magnetic. When people feel acknowledged and appreciated by you, they more readily acknowledge and appreciate you. When you are grateful for all you have and all you have experienced, even the seemingly bad stuff, your life expands. Gratitude is an elevated energy. When you feel it, you are also elevated. Everyone can experience gratitude whenever they want. Look to all that is beautiful and let go of that which seems imperfect. Your mind is pliable. Decide where you want to focus it. To magnetize abundance, joy, love, health, and all good things to you, live in an attitude of gratitude. This is how you do it. Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, give some love and attention to the things that are. Take a mental inventory of all the things, events, people, and opportunities for which you are grateful. With consistent practice, you will notice that the negative way of thinking will begin to shift. You’ll be able to experience the happiness that is waiting for you. Here is an exercise: Begin each morning with appreciation for everything and all possibilities. As you do this, expand your feeling so that this sense of gratitude fills the room. Then, end your day with gratitude for all you have experienced and all the ways you have given and received. Again, expand your energy. When you sleep with this high energy, your mind will be working through the night on all the ways to bring abundance into your life. As you do this exercise, make sure you have at least five things on your gratitude list, morning and evening, and keep adding to the list. Your energy will expand and soar! (This story is excerpted from Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! by Jean Walters - available on Amazon.com) Jean Walters is also author of Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! available on Amazon.com and Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy website: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com

Monday, November 13, 2017

Become Unstuck - what to do when you are feeling stuck!

Being stuck in indecision or lack of confidence is not only annoying, but time wasting. Here are a few tips on how to stay unstuck. Traits of People Who Stay Unstuck… at Least Most of the Time 1. Unwilling to stay in extremely unhappy or stress situations indefinitely. Unstuck people have a kind of happiness set point that is higher than people who stay stuck. 2. Willing to experiment, try new ways, make mistakes and try a new plan. Unstuck people are not afraid to make mistakes in the interest of achieving a goal. They aren’t hampered by endless thoughts of being right or wrong. 3. Possess a sense of humor and light-heartedness and are able to joke about themselves because there is no shame about their imperfections. 4. Turn obstructions into opportunities thus turning fear into love. Seven Step Plan to Bring about Change… à Notice when you’re stuck à Pay attention à Show up à Live in reality à Connect with others à Move from thought to action à Let go Adapted form If the Buddha Got Stuck, by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D. Jean Walters is the author of Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! and Be Outrageous: Do the impossible - Others have and you can too (about getting in touch with your passion) - both are available on Amazon.com Also: Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy. Also available on Amazon.com Enjoy!!!! Jean's website is: www.spiritualtransformation.com ________________