Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Perfectionism, Defeat, Success, Failure - You Decide!

If failure is a lack of perfection, then Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Choose the Life You Want, indicates you can learn just as much, if not more, from failure as from success. Walter Russell, in The Man WhoTapped the secrets of the Universe, acknowledged, I have had my share of what one calls defeat, in plenty. I have made and lost fortunes and seen great plans of mine topple through my own errors of judgment or through other causes… But I do not recognize these as defeats. They are but interesting experiences of life. They are valuable stepping-stones to success. Defeat is a condition one must accept in order to give it reality. I refuse to give it reality by accepting it. In my philosophy I have written these words: Defeat I shall not know. It shall not touch me. I will meet it with true thinking. Resisting it will be my strengthening. But if, perchance, they will give to me the bitter cup, it will sweeten in the drinking. Along those same lines, there isn't any situation that couldn't be changed for the better. How? By changing yourself. The key is to accept yourself for all your talents and flaws. Resolve to mine the peace within no matter what the material world appears to reflect. By plaguing yourself with perfectionist goals, you strive for the unattainable. Frustration is born out of reaching for something that doesn't exist. The seeker, profusely aware of falling short of his goal, develops critical, self-defacing attitudes. This inner critic keeps genius from coming out. There is something to be said for making mistakes and even failing. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team. His failure to make the team created irritation that drove him to persevere, work through his frustration and realize his genius on the basketball court. He wasn’t going for perfection, but performance. Your perfectionist is your critic and will continually come up with judgments, comments, and opinions. In order to perform, you have to overcome the critic. Example: the little boy who wants to learn to ride his bike will jump on it. In attempting to ride, he loses his balance and falls off. Then he rides it another way. Eventually he finds a way to ride the bike and in so doing his performer self comes out. The perfectionist (critic) is disempowering. Your genius self comes out when you continually improve your performance without worrying about perfection. It could be that what you really want is to do your best. Each time you unconditionally give your best effort, you add to your ultimate performance and your situation just like Michael Jordan and Gerard. Give your effort for self-gratification and fulfillment, not to impress or please anyone else. Personal acceptance and appreciation for your exertion is a sign of maturity and an indication that you've given your best. There is a difference between having to create perfect results and having high standards. A person with high standards gives his best and learns from the result. His aim is to continually improve his skills. Conversely, a perfectionist expects every effort to be indisputable, without flaw. His ego, rides with each outcome and is crushed when criticized. Seek a healthier perspective. Babies learn to walk over time. We don’t expect them to get up once and walk perfectly. We understand that walking is a process that includes various factors such as balance and strength. Patiently, we applaud each effort the baby makes. With encouragement, they tenaciously try again and again, until they have mastered walking. We are similar. Each time we venture into new territory or attempt yet another learning experience, we are as fresh and innocent as a baby. Endeavor to express patience and gentleness in this growth process. This blog is excerpted from Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible Others Have and You Can Too! by Jean Walters available on Other books by Jean Walters: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! - Dreams and the Symbology of Life - by Jean Walters-Lucy - available on