Everyone Receives when You Give with Right Intention I knew a man named Martin who owned a successful flooring store. He kept to himself most of the time and led a quiet life. One Christmas, he felt inspired, deciding to step out of his usual routine to do something audacious. This was for himself. Martin learned about a single mom who was struggling to meet her family’s needs. He decided to give her $500 anonymously. So, one night, he put five $100 bills in an envelope, along with a holiday greeting. He commenced to walk up to her house, placed the envelope in a conspicuous location by the front door, then rang the doorbell and ran to hide behind a bush. The woman answered the door and picked up the envelope. As she opened it, she let out a surprised and happy gasp. She called out to the night air, “Thank you!” Martin was so excited, he couldn’t sleep that night. As he told me this story, he beamed with joy. It was apparent that Martin got the greater blessing that night. We can all give as Martin did. In every day and every way and with every person we can give with Highest intention! Everything is brighter when we do!

Dealing with Difficult Relationships during the Holidays The holiday season is upon us once again and it offers the possibility of healing some old wounds. Sometimes when certain people or relatives show up, there is a sense of heaviness or dread that goes back years to previous pain suffered with those individuals, but we can change this. Let’s bring this into perspective. Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? You sat in a little chair behind a tiny desk. Well, guess what, you now possess a beautiful adult body that no longer fits in that teeny desk or scenario. In the same way, trying to operate from old outmoded thought patterns that continually bring pain no longer fits. And, holding on to relationships and memories that need to go, no longer serves your highest good. Reverting back and allowing the expectations and demands of family members to be a source of unhappiness and stress, when what you really want is to be authentically yourself and at peace is not acceptable. The conflict may appear to be a choice between being who you are and not having peace with your relatives, or having peace at the price of being inauthentic. Yet, being peaceful and authentic can define your relationship with your family. First, though, you may have to assess your relationship with yourself. In order to change the nature of any relationship, you'll have to adjust your thinking about it and consider that you are the source of your anguish, rather than the individual you've labeled as the troublemaker, and/or annoying and despicable. The rule is that people treat you the way you have trained them to treat you. Over the years, all of these folks have been treating you exactly as you have trained them with your reactions and behaviors. This can miraculously change when you choose to be at peace with everyone in your life—most particularly, your relatives. If the focus of your internal dialogue about your relationships is it on what they're doing wrong, then that's precisely how your relationship with them will be experienced. If your mind chatter centers on what's annoying about them that will be your focus. But if you're thinking, I am authentic and peaceful with this relative, then that's what you will experience—even if that person continues to be exactly the way he or she has always been. In other words, make your decision and stand by it. The key to having peace is forgiveness. Your relatives are simply doing what they have been taught to do over a lifetime, and the lifetimes of their predecessors. Step away from judgment and expectation and shower them instead with understanding and forgiveness. Rather than keeping yourself in a state of stress, decide to be grateful for their presence in your life and the opportunity for you to grow. There is a bonus likelihood that you will see dramatic changes in your relatives as you instruct them with your own persona how you intend to be treated. But if they don't choose to change, and they continue their non-peaceful ways, release your need to transform them. It is perfect in the Universe, as you are her are offering them the same. As you transform and live in peace, you increase the odds of helping others do the same. It is all a matter of choice.

The Art of Giving and Receiving There is a wonderful legend about a wanderer in the desert who happens on a spring of clear, fresh water. He excitedly fills his jug with water and dashes off to share his precious treasure with the king. The wanderer crosses a great distance over many days to eventually arrive at the palace and offer his gift to the king. As the king tastes the water, he smiles and profusely thanks the wanderer for his wonderful gift. The members of the court rush forward to have a taste, expecting to savor cool, clean water. Instead, they are repulsed with hot, stale water and they spit it out. A member of the court inquired of the king, “How could you give thanks for this spoiled water?" The king smiled and divulged that it was not the water he tasted, but the spirit in which it was given. Receiving a gift is an art unto itself. Remembering that it is not the gift but the spirit of the giver that is most important can make us all better givers and receivers. President Calvin Coolidge spoke of giving when he said, “No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” Writer, Margaret Lee Bundeck, declared that “Giving is a necessity sometimes more urgent, indeed, than having.” Activist, Stephen S. Wise, stated his views on giving thusly: “An unshared life is not living. He who shares does not lessen, but greatens his life.” I hope that these words of wisdom help to brighten your holidays and encourage each of you to develop your own Art of Giving and Receiving that you may experience the great joy of both!!

The Law of Failure People have a lot of misconceptions about failure. John Keats said, “Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true.” Keats is referring to the “Law of Failure.” It states that your level of success is directly proportional to how often you fail. Everyone, at some point, deals with failure. If we let failing at something defeat us, we’re in for a succession of depleting experiences. Famed basketball player, Michael Jordan has an interesting perspective on failure: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” The best basketball player ever has missed so much, has failed so many times, yet his talent, hard work and perseverance made him a great success. Jordan is clear that his failures were the building blocks of his success. Thomas Edison was also learned in the art of failure. He discovered early in life that failure is the road to success. After 50,000 attempts to invent the light bulb, he felt he was close to his goal, because now he knew 50,000 ways that didn’t work. Thomas J. Watson, the founder of IBM, was also no stranger to failure. Watson ran afoul of the antitrust laws and had been fired as the sales manager of the National Cash Register Co. At 40 years of age, he was under jail sentence, and without home or job and with little money. Yet, even with this extraordinary pressure, Watson emerged to establish one of the most successful, innovative businesses in America. Falling down helps us learn to pick ourselves up again. This is a valuable skill, if you plan on succeeding. Decide how you want your life to be. Then create a plan for where you are right now, knowing that it will change as you grow. Then begin your journey with the first step. Don’t let rejection, failure or falling down stop you. If one phase of your plan doesn’t work, step back and reassess. Taking time daily to consider where you are and where you’re going, clears your mind and creates room for new ideas. Concentrate on your desire. Don’t get attached to how you achieve it. You can follow Edison’s example of discovering ways it won’t work, so that you move closer to ways that do work. Join the ranks of Jordan, Edison, Watson and many others by sticking to your goals regardless of what happens, thereby turning “failure” into a meaningless, obsolete word. So the key is not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up and keep going. The only real failure is not trying at all. _____________________________________

Effortless Action Nothing in the world is more yielding and gentle than water. At the same time, nothing is more powerful than water. Water has no equal in conquering, overcoming, or wearing down resistance. When a stream meets an obstacle in its path, it doesn’t fight, struggle or even contemplate. It basically gives it no attention. It simply flows around it. The stream does this without strain or concern. In fact, it sings as it flows past the obstacle. Water provides a perfect example of effortless action. You can learn from this metaphor daily. As you face the challenges in your life, think about water. Consistent wearing away at an obstacle wins out, as does changing course. And, in the mean time, don’t forget to sing your song. For instance, if you are traveling to Texas and run into a detour, you can cancel your trip or find another route or mode of transportation. If you are driving, you can fly. If one highway is closed, there are other roads and thoroughfares that will get you there. Furthermore, reassessing your options can be accomplished without losing your cool. In fact, you can enjoy the entire maneuver. There is a story that further explains effortless action. It is about a horse that was tied outside a shop in a narrow Chinese village street. Whenever anyone tried to walk past, the horse would kick him. After a while a crowd of people gathered and began debating how best to get by the hazardous horse. Soon, someone came running announcing, “The Old Master is coming! He’ll know what to do!” The crowd waited anxiously. As the Old Master turned the corner, he saw the horse, and immediately spun around to walk down another street. The Old Master had learned the lesson of water and moved with effortless ease. How can you use this principle of effortless ease in your life? What are the obstacles you need to flow around?

Doing the Seemingly Impossible... When you set a thought into motion, the forces of the Universe take over to guide that thought to the right resources to create the outcome you desire. One of the things we have to do to cooperate with this process is to listen to our intuition because that is where our answers will emanate. The Wright brothers serve an example of listening with the heart (intuition) and following the guidance diligently. They did this in their quest to create a flying machine. Wilbur and Orville Wright were two American inventors, and aviation pioneers who are credited with inventing and building the first controlled, powered and sustained heavier-than-air human flight machine on December 17, 1903. Neither let their lack of formal education (Orville had 3 years of high school and Wilbur had four years) interfere with their dream of developing a flying machine. After having worked for years in their shop with printing presses, bicycles, motors, and other machinery, their mechanical engineering skills were honed. Working on bicycles particularly influenced their belief that an unstable vehicle like a flying machine could be controlled and balanced with practice. They conducted numerous experiments and trials over years before they realized victory. Through that time, they never let the idea that they were simple bicycle mechanics interfere with their vision of flight or their determination. As a result, they lived to see airplanes flying all over the world. It was their development of aerodynamic controls that made it all possible. When the mind is open and willing, amazing innovations are born. Thus the question, what has your intuition been saying to you? In what way are you being asked to step out of the box and be inventive? We were all designed for greatness!

Important lesson in Kindness There is a story about an eleven year old boy who learned an important lesson regarding the interpretation of right action and values. Eric played Little League baseball on the Phoenix’s team. It was the last game of the season and the most important one as it would determine the championship. But it was important for another reason as well. It was the bottom of the sixth and the Eric’s team, the Phoenixs were ahead 2-1. But the opposing team, the Pegasus, had the bases loaded with two outs and their best hitter was at bat. He hit an easy fly ball to Phoenix’s right fielder, Bobby, who circled under it, his glove in position. It looked like an easy out and the crowd grew quiet in anticipation. The ball fell into Bobby’s glove, but then bounced out. Bobby scrambled for it but by the time he got hold of it and threw it, the Pegasus won the game 3-2. The defeated Phoenix slunk off the field when suddenly their manager stated screaming at Bobby. “You lost us the game. It is your fault we lost the championship!” Bobby was devastated and ran off the field and into the woods. When the game was over, Eric went to meet his parents for the drive home but his dad wasn’t there. His mom said that dad had something to take care of. Eric was feeling dejected when in the distance he saw his father walking down the road with his arm around Bobby. Bobby was the one who didn’t feel he had a friend in the world and Eric’s dad had reached out to him in kindness and support. Eric never forgot the kindness his father extended that day. In the matter of one hour, Eric’s value system made a radical shift and the important of kindness went to the top, while winning at all costs, fell off the list. Bobby never forgot either because whenever he saw Eric’s dad he broke into a big smile and greeted him warmly. The team manager was misdirected in believing that winning was everything. He misled his players when he yelled that Bobby lost the championship because anyone who has ever played any sport, knows the team wins or loses together. Some people really believe that winning is everything. Those are the ones who put the feelings of a vulnerable eleven year old Little League baseball player as nothing. Real winners don’t necessarily hit home runs or make spectacular plays and catch every ball. Real winners like Eric’s dad, know how to be kind. He was clear in his directtion and taught by excample. Kindness is everything.