Monday, September 5, 2011

What's Love Got to do with It?

The Course in Miracles states that there is nothing real but love and that all problems boil down to a lack of love. The author, Osho, in his Book of Secrets, states that love is spontaneous and cannot be controlled. You cannot control it; you have to allow it to happen. So, how can we increase our ability to love and what gets in the way of allowing it?

“Your presence, (or your thinking), is what gets in the way. Modern man is capable of “doing.” Yet BEING is what allows love to happen.” Osho

When we are being our natural selves – no analyzing, no judging – we can allow love to flow. Because of our propensity to base our lives on doing, we become one dimensional. We become “doing beings.” Love cannot be done.
Consider children. They don’t know how to do much, yet they are very good at being. And, love flows easily through them. Play is another element of being. Children play easily. Do you know how to play?

Another example is meditation. You cannot do meditation, but you can experience meditation. You can be quiet and listen and BE in meditation. You can let JOY fill you and take possession of you, and then you can flow in meditation.
The biggest barrier to love is the way we treat ourselves. (Osho would call it our presence or our consciousness.) Often people indicate they love themselves because they get massages, or treat themselves to a vacation. These are nice things to do, but often while they do these things, they are berating themselves for not being perfect enough, or having the wrong body image, or never completing their “to do” list or various other affronts. They are mentally hating themselves (criticizing, and judging), while they go through the motions of being kind to their bodies.

Often, people will say, “I am in love,” or “I want to be loved.” Usually what they mean is I want someone else to love me because I am not willing to love myself. That is when relationships become convoluted because we ask others to give to us what we are unwilling to give to ourselves. That is also when we are angry. When it appears that someone is not giving us the attention, affirmation and love that we want, we resent them. It is a conditional kind of experience. We want loyalty, fidelity, confirmation, affection, attention and we are not giving these to ourselves. When we change our own behavior and begin to truly love, love flows naturally to ourselves and to others. We give up the critical voice and demeaning behaviors and move into a sense of true expandedness.

When you really love, opposite emotions cannot enter into you. They are automatically excluded. For instance, if a room is filled with bright light, darkness cannot enter. If you dim emotions can take over. And when you are brimming with love, negative emotions cannot enter.

The love we seek is deep inside us. It is in the heart. We can experience it by going to the heart and asking that love be presented. Let this love expand and fill you. Spend time there daily. Give it another minute tomorrow and the next day. Soon, the critical thoughts fall away. They no longer fit.

What's love got to do with it? Everything!!!

Jean Walters is a Personal Growth Consultant and Transformational Coach and Akashic Reader for over 35 years. She is available at 314 991 8439 or on skype for an appointment.