Freedom to Choose When you blame others for your life, you give up the power to change, because you are making the other person the cause of your situation. Your self-definition is that of victim. Victims look outside themselves for their good and don’t take responsibility for causing their lives. “You make me mad”; “That drives me crazy”; “You upset me when you do that”. Each statement, depicts the speaker giving away his power. Each reflect the speaker’s inability or unwillingness to make choices to maintain his own emotional stability and peace. There is no event that can cause everyone to feel the same? The picture of an adorable baby draws oohs and ahhhs of admiration or illicit moans of too much work, mess, responsibility. A gory murder movie is reacted to with disgust or laughter depending on the observer’s point of view. The bottom line is no one can make you feel bad. You don’t have to get mad is someone addresses you in a derogatory fashion, anymore than you have to be happy if paid a compliment. Your reaction belongs to you. You can decide to be peaceful despite a chaotic environment. In Searching For Man’s Meaning, Victor Frankl said that no matter what his captors (in the concentration camp) did to him, they could not control his mind. In his mind, Frankl had visions of being back home. Instead of lavishing his captors with hate, he directed his imagination to sweet memories of home. As it turned out, Frankl, as one of the few camp survivors, returned home to his family. Captive of our unwillingness to set our own standards, our lives become individualized concentration camps when we turn over control to others. Next time you are faced with an opportunity to lose your cool, stop and reflect. You can remain unfettered in your own peacefulness. Detach from the learned inclination toward violence. Instead, decide how you would really like to feel. With practice, you will create unflinching peace that is impervious to the whims of others.

What's Love Got to do with It?

The Course in Miracles states that there is nothing real but love and that all problems boil down to a lack of love. The author, Osho, in his Book of Secrets, states that love is spontaneous and cannot be controlled. You cannot control it; you have to allow it to happen. So, how can we increase our ability to love and what gets in the way of allowing it?

“Your presence, (or your thinking), is what gets in the way. Modern man is capable of “doing.” Yet BEING is what allows love to happen.” Osho

When we are being our natural selves – no analyzing, no judging – we can allow love to flow. Because of our propensity to base our lives on doing, we become one dimensional. We become “doing beings.” Love cannot be done.
Consider children. They don’t know how to do much, yet they are very good at being. And, love flows easily through them. Play is another element of being. Children play easily. Do you know how to play?

Another example is meditation. You cannot do meditation, but you can experience meditation. You can be quiet and listen and BE in meditation. You can let JOY fill you and take possession of you, and then you can flow in meditation.
The biggest barrier to love is the way we treat ourselves. (Osho would call it our presence or our consciousness.) Often people indicate they love themselves because they get massages, or treat themselves to a vacation. These are nice things to do, but often while they do these things, they are berating themselves for not being perfect enough, or having the wrong body image, or never completing their “to do” list or various other affronts. They are mentally hating themselves (criticizing, and judging), while they go through the motions of being kind to their bodies.

Often, people will say, “I am in love,” or “I want to be loved.” Usually what they mean is I want someone else to love me because I am not willing to love myself. That is when relationships become convoluted because we ask others to give to us what we are unwilling to give to ourselves. That is also when we are angry. When it appears that someone is not giving us the attention, affirmation and love that we want, we resent them. It is a conditional kind of experience. We want loyalty, fidelity, confirmation, affection, attention and we are not giving these to ourselves. When we change our own behavior and begin to truly love, love flows naturally to ourselves and to others. We give up the critical voice and demeaning behaviors and move into a sense of true expandedness.

When you really love, opposite emotions cannot enter into you. They are automatically excluded. For instance, if a room is filled with bright light, darkness cannot enter. If you dim emotions can take over. And when you are brimming with love, negative emotions cannot enter.

The love we seek is deep inside us. It is in the heart. We can experience it by going to the heart and asking that love be presented. Let this love expand and fill you. Spend time there daily. Give it another minute tomorrow and the next day. Soon, the critical thoughts fall away. They no longer fit.

What's love got to do with it? Everything!!!

Jean Walters is a Personal Growth Consultant and Transformational Coach and Akashic Reader for over 35 years. She is available at 314 991 8439 or on skype for an appointment. Jean@spiritualtransformation.com

The Key to Receiving is Giving

Often, in our fast paced world, we feel we have to manipulate circumstances and people to get what we want. When, in truth, we can bypass all that effort and go directly to Spirit. In other words, go HIGHER in your focus and awareness. Move into a place of love, centeredness, knowingness. Let me explain…

What if our whole reason for existing is to make the connection to our Higher Selves and live a life of joy? By consuming ourselves with managing details (people’s attitudes toward us, creating the circumstances we desire), we could easily miss the point and forget to love.

What does everyone want? What does everyone need? The answer is simple – LOVE…. To be loved and accepted. How simple it is to provide that?
, lovevvv
The other day, a client asked me, “How can I receive more kudos and praise at work?” The answer is simple, give it. Pass praise and acknowledgment around as though you are giving out chocolates…. abundantly! The more you give of anything (love, praise, money, chocolates), the more you receive. We have an unlimited amount of love (praise, acknowledgement) to give so be profuse in your givingness.

Think of at least three to five people right now that you can acknowledge. “I so appreciate the way you managed that or shared that or present yourself etceteras.” “I admire the way you work with people, are unconditional, display your talents, etceteras.” Or, “You look beautiful or radiant.” Now, you let your mind move to people with whom you want to share joyful sentiments. Guess what! You will feel so good as you offer these thoughts and feelings, you will become a “love addict,” going around generously sharing your love all over the place. And, guess what again, your world will grow in richness and your life will become full.

So think about what you want to receive (love, friendship, praise, money, attention) and then start giving it away. The Universe is like a well oiled machine. It works with precision and consistency. You GIVE and you RECEIVE. Have fun!

Jean Walters, DM, DD, CRT
Inner Connections, Inc.
11710 Administration Dr., Suite 14
St. Louis, Mo. 63146-3407
314 991 8439
www.spiritualtransformation.com
www.spiritualtransformationcourse.com