Blog: Praise instead - it elevates your energy and brings more joy in your life! The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. William James Most of us, swimming against tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement – and we’ll make the goal. Jerome P Fleishman Give Praise Instead Most of us have been told that it is bad to give yourself credit. Some people call it bragging. It is a behavioral program with which we were raised. But no one told us what happens when you don't honor your talents and abilities. Depriving yourself of positive feedback produces negative results, such as low self-esteem, diminished productivity, and lack of motivation. Since crediting yourself with your natural talents and best efforts is a no-no, people tend to resort to its opposite and more socially acceptable behavior, self-criticism. They find flaws lest someone else spots them first. I could have done better; I am a mess; how stupid of me; my hair is too straight, curly, short, long etceteras. You get the idea. Self-criticism can become a game of one-upsmanship. The competition is to be the worst of the worst. I heard a bulemic lady admit, if I can’t be the best, I will be the worst. This was her rationale for eating to excess and then regurgitating. So who is the winner in this game? A healthier choice would be to give honest,deserved praise for well-rendered efforts. Accolades spur you on toward great achievement. You have many good point. Acknowledge them to yourself. Make sure you are supporting yourself and not vying for other-approval. Judgmental people will consider you egotistical. But they are always looking for the negatives. Don’t let them deter you. Ultimately it is up to you to decide how important their opinions are and if you agree with them. Once that has been settled, you can reap the rewards of a positive self-concept. Honest praise builds strength, resilience, and self esteem. As you progress, you will become strong and unbeatable. Dennis Waitley, author of The Psychology of Winning, states that praise builds, criticism deteriorates. It is his idea that praise, liberally administered, not only elevates self esteem but encourages belief in self. As a person starts to like himself, he takes on greater challenges and risks rand productivity increases. Ultimately, even weak, ineffectual attitudes and behaviors are improved. Every aspect of the individual is strenthened. story. David Viscott, author of Risking, comments, The more you love yourself, the less dependent you are on others. People who like themselves are not found on welfare roles, nor do they linger in depression or lament their troubles to the world. Loving yourself and crediting yourself with positive qualities requires personal and sacred commitment and discipline. It can be controversial, but worth a try. Here are steps you can take to learn how. 1) Praise yourself for possessing at least five positive attributes. You really have many more. Examples might be patience, perseverance, friendliness, honesty, generosity, friendliness. 2) Acknowledge good in everything you do. (Examples can be that you cleaned the house but forgot to dust the furniture. Credit yourself for what you accomplished. If your boss demonstrates a negative mood, credit yourself for remaining pleasant. 3) Give at least five compliments to others daily. 4) Look forward with enthusiasm to some scheduled activity daily. 5) At the end of each day, give thanks for all the positive occurrences. Don’t just look for big triumphs. If you stayed calm when everyone else was ruffled, that is positive. The switch to self praise can be inspiring. Fighting the war of low self esteem requires diligence. This war is no won in one battle. The foe of negativity is often deeply entrenched. However, each positive stroke reinforces your value and places you closer to victory. You possess qualities you can applaud. No one is without virtue or talent. Self confidence is founded on consistent, honest and personal praise. Take the risk of becoming a new exciting you by appreciating your efforts now. Build your value through praise. How to do this… When others want to pull you down with criticism, understand that they would have no need for that, if they were healthy themselves. Forgive them for they know not what they do. People attack when they feel wounded. By the same token, you indulge in similar behavior. Watch your own critical thoughts and ask yourself, what is my pain? Can I let it go? As you discover your own inner woundedness, you will be able to forgive yourself and let go. It gets easier. In time, your positive thoughts will outweigh you negative ones and you will feel good about yourself. It is a process. Enjoy it! To reach Jean Walters: call 314 991 8439 - she does consultations and readings for people all over the world. Or, Jean@spiritualtransformation.com