Be Careful Who You Listen to

Switch off Negative Mental Chatter; Switch on Self Affirmation Don’t randomly accept other people’s beliefs and opinions. People project their beliefs onto others. It is called transference. If someone thinks you are not making the best use of your talents, then more than likely, he is not making best use of his. If someone believes that nothing works out for them, then it doesn’t (for them). That does not mean anything about you. If someone lives with a lot of “should messages,” it doesn’t mean that you have to. “You should play it safe,” “You should do as you are told; never make waves or take risks.” There is no flow, excitement or growth in shoulding yourself. In other words, figure out what works best for you and live by those principles. You pay a heavy price for hanging out with Debbie Downers. It conditions you to expect the worst in every situation and makes you slightly crazy. If you get caught with a downer, take a break, go to a quiet place and let yourself download the insanity and judgments until you can get back to your center. Remember all the insanity of negativity amounts to a child throwing a temper tantrum. I’m mad; I didn’t get my way. Let it go. Along these lines, never let anyone put you down (and that includes yourself). If someone is coming from a negative view it may not be enough to recognize that he is talking about himself. You may need to let go completely. It depletes your energy to deal with Negative Nellies and people who only want to see the worst in others. By letting go, you create room for those who choose to see the positive to enter your life. It can’t happen until you let go. Ah, a breath of fresh air! Recognizing these patterns helps you. It is like the Buddhist Monk who was told he was to deal with a negative situation. He said, “Good, I get to practice.” Yes, life is all about practice. In this case the practice is to decide what works for you. Letting others tell you what is true negates your responsibility to draw your own conclusions and will definitely lead to struggle. I had a client who bent over backwards trying to get her mother-in-law, Dottie, to like her. She cooked the foods her mother-in-law liked, and read the books she endorsed, and even changed her style of clothes to please her. Then, one day I asked Mary, what would happen if Dottie never approves of you? Exactly how would it impact your life? Mary pondered this question and finally decided the answer was nothing. From then on Mary decided to do the things that she enjoyed - eat what she liked, wear the style that suited her, etcetera. AND, nothing did happen. If anything, Dottie was kind of impressed and she knew that she could no longer push Mary around. That amounted to growth for both of them. Action: Do your own homework. Whether it's politics, news stories, or the best way to bake a cake, ask yourself what you believe about it before asking anyone else what they think. What makes sense to you? What do you think is the best way to balance the budget? Practice having an educated opinion and stating it without worrying what anyone else thinks. Own your beliefs and thought processes. Everyone has a right to a point of view. Even if you are wrong - so what! There is no need to debate, defend, or make excuses. As you understand your own position, you will grow stronger in your ability to state it and then let go. If someone disagrees, so be it. Along with weeding out negative people, consider releasing negative groups and thought systems. Don’t listen to the news 24/7. Don’t watch horror films and doomsday television. They carry negative energy and have a detrimental effect. A person who smokes cigarettes cannot logically think that his lungs are going to be healthy and a person who drinks heavily cannot believe that his liver is not burdened. The same is true with what you take in mentally and emotionally. Inundating yourself with violence, harshness, drama, and negativity does not bode well for your mind and soul. Do be selective as to what and whom you listen to. Everyone exudes energy. Make sure you are around people who project positive, high energy. In essence, find people who are happy and have purpose and hang with them. The fact is that you are powerful and have the ability to change your life at any moment and in any way. You are powerful and each choice you make shapes your future. Jean Walters is an Amazon.com best selling author. You can reach her at jean@spiritualtransformation.com or 314 991 8439