Freedom to Choose When you blame others for your life, you give up the power to change, because you are making the other person the cause of your situation. Your self-definition is that of victim. Victims look outside themselves for their good and don’t take responsibility for causing their lives. “You make me mad”; “That drives me crazy”; “You upset me when you do that”. Each statement, depicts the speaker giving away his power. Each reflect the speaker’s inability or unwillingness to make choices to maintain his own emotional stability and peace. There is no event that can cause everyone to feel the same? The picture of an adorable baby draws oohs and ahhhs of admiration or illicit moans of too much work, mess, responsibility. A gory murder movie is reacted to with disgust or laughter depending on the observer’s point of view. The bottom line is no one can make you feel bad. You don’t have to get mad is someone addresses you in a derogatory fashion, anymore than you have to be happy if paid a compliment. Your reaction belongs to you. You can decide to be peaceful despite a chaotic environment. In Searching For Man’s Meaning, Victor Frankl said that no matter what his captors (in the concentration camp) did to him, they could not control his mind. In his mind, Frankl had visions of being back home. Instead of lavishing his captors with hate, he directed his imagination to sweet memories of home. As it turned out, Frankl, as one of the few camp survivors, returned home to his family. Captive of our unwillingness to set our own standards, our lives become individualized concentration camps when we turn over control to others. Next time you are faced with an opportunity to lose your cool, stop and reflect. You can remain unfettered in your own peacefulness. Detach from the learned inclination toward violence. Instead, decide how you would really like to feel. With practice, you will create unflinching peace that is impervious to the whims of others.

Finding the Pearl Oysters live inside hard shells and have soft, sensitive bodies. When a grain of sand pushes into the shell, the oyster experiences great agony. If the oyster is unable to remove the painful irritant, it tries another approach and coats the sand with layers of soft iridescent mother of pearl. Thus what was initially an annoyance is transformed, over time, into a beautiful object of great value. The same thing happens to each of us when faced with life’s irritations. We have the choice to react in pain and agony or find a way to use the problem/challenge to create something of value. The merchandiser, J. C. Penney, was challenged as the seventh of twelve children in a very poor family. He decided to use his capacity for enterprise to get what he wanted. Consequently Penney raised and sold pigs to buy his school clothes. The undertaking that created a practical solution for purchasing school clothes, eventually expanded into a lucrative business, J.C. Penney department stores. Joe was Chief Engineer at a company that was downsizing. When he lost his job, he was momentarily sad until he realized that finally he had the time and opportunity to start his own business. Had Joe’s job not been eliminated, he would never have pursued entrepreneurship. Joe ultimately developed a successful business, created greater personal freedom and fulfilled his dreams. All this evolved from a situation that was initially an irritant. There are pearls hidden in every situation. They are the seeds of a new way (career, relationship, business, hobby, process). The choice is to be a victim of circumstances or an opportunist. Recognizing opportunity requires vision, willingness, courage, effort, determination, and action. Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to find the pearls? ______________________________________

The Spirit of Heroism The Persian poet, Rumi described an incident after a forest fire. The fire fighters spotted a bird sitting upright in a nest high in a burnt tree. The bird was covered in ash. They could not believe that the bird was sitting upright and not lying down in the nest. So they climbed the tree to investigate. They found the bird sitting straight up with its wings spread out covering her three chicks, who survived the fire. The bird had been burned alive because she chose to stay in her nest and protect her chicks. Within every being exists this spirit of heroism. It calls on the willingness to see a greater ideal than your own small self. Martin Luther King Jr. described this spirit of heroism when he said, “If a man hasn’t discovered something that he would die for, he isn’t fit to live.” Jean de la Fontaine spoke of heroism when he said, “Man is so made that whenever anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.” A while back, the Australian actor, Mel Gibson, produced, directed, and starred in the movie, Braveheart about a Scottish leader, William Wallace. Gibson said that stories of ancient heroism are an effort “to raise ourselves above the normal level of things. There is a sense of something higher in all of us. I don’t care who you are.” In the movie, after routing the opposing force of 50,000 in the first battle of Stirling, the newly knighted Wallace delivers a lecture on the responsibility of rank to Robert the Bruce, the Scottish King. “What does it mean to be noble? Your title gives you claim to the throne of our country. But men don’t follow titles. They follow courage! Just lead them to freedom, and they will follow you.” There is meaning here for the relationships in your life -- parent-child, executive-employee, friend to friend. As you demonstrate the spirit of heroism in your daily affairs, you inspire yourself and others to live from that sense of higher purpose that is within each of us.

Fun Manifestation: So here is the "fun manifestation” part. Wednesday I said to God, "Okay, I am putting a lot of energy into writing this book and I need a clear sign from you that I am on the right path - that I am not wasting my time. I WANT A CLEAR, UNMISTAKABLE SIGN! Thank you! I am paying attention. Okay, that is the background. So, here is what came across my email messages today: (I love Elizabeth Gilbert.) Fear is Boring part: This week Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love; The Signature of All Things; and the forthcoming book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear) posted a brilliant update on her Facebook page. It was so good; I want to share it with you here. The other day, a brilliant friend of mine let me read the first draft of a book she’s been working on for years. It was wonderful. But that’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is what happened AFTER I told her how wonderful her book was. She sent me a long email detailing all her fears about how bad her book actually is, and about how nobody will like it, and that it’s overly simplistic, and critics will call it self-indulgent, and that I’m just being polite when I say that it’s good. (To reiterate, her book is GREAT.) Normally, I would have responded with a long, tender, compassionate letter — trying to convince her once again of her talents, and of my support and faith in her. But I was tired and in a hurry. So instead, I just wrote the truth. I wrote this: “Listen, honey — I read through all your anxieties and your fears here. And I just have to say something very bluntly: Your fears about your book aren’t very interesting or very original! I can say this with complete authority, because they are exactly the same fears that I have, whenever I am about to release a book into the world. And I know for a fact that my fears are not interesting at all. (Like yours, my fears always sing this familiar, droning old song: ‘Your work is garbage, it will be criticized as self-indulgent, it’s too simplistic, it has no value, nobody will buy it, your friends are only being nice to you when they say it’s good, you just wasted a whole bunch of time for no good reason, you are done for and washed-up’). “Moreover, I have it on good authority that these are exactly the same fears that EVERYONE who has ever finished a book (or created anything) feels. In other words, your fears are just regular old mass-produced, made-in-China, sold-at-Walmart fears. Nothing fine or precious or artisanal about them. So don’t treat them like they’re precious. “I realized this about my own fears a few years ago — that they are always exactly the same, and that they are always exactly the same as everyone else’s, and therefore they are nothing special and actually just kind of boring. (I want to say to my fears sometimes, “Really? That’s the best you can come up with? This old song again? REALLY — you’re telling me once again that I’m not good enough? That my work isn’t good enough? That’s it? That’s seriously the best you got, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? Jeez, get some new material, dude.”) “So now I just come to expect those completely boring and unoriginal fears to show up every time I write anything, and I don’t even pay attention to them anymore, because they never have anything new to say. They’re just the neighbor’s dogs, barking incessantly in the yard next-door, blah blah blah. But they never bite. They can never escape the yard. They have no real power. So I just move ahead and do my work. There’s that old Bedouin line: ‘The dogs bark; the caravan passes anyhow.’ Your caravan needs to pass along now on its journey, whether fear barks at you loudly or not. It’s time. “Because here is what IS interesting and original: This book that you just wrote. And here is what else is interesting and original: Whatever is about to happen in your life next, when you send that book out to publishers. Because god only knows what will happen. Could be good, could be bad. We have no idea. Because the future is a mystery And mysteries — unlike fears — are always interesting. So let’s focus on the interesting parts (the creativity and the mystery) and forget about the fear. Time to be stubbornly brave, and dignified in the face of any fate.” So that was my letter, and my friend said it made her laugh (which is good, because I was a little afraid it might make her cry)…and since laughter is good, now I’m sharing the letter with you all. In summation: Your creativity is fascinating, but your fears are not. In my summation: I laughed my head off because this was a CLEAR, SPECIFIC message from God. Thank you!!!!! Of course, this message is for you too. You may not be writing, but you are doing something! Thus: remember the message - Your creativity is fascinating, and your fears are boring. I send much love, Jean XOXO

Blog: The Law of Probability Have you made a list of the things – events, items, circumstances – you want in your life? Do you know how having those things serve the world? If you have those two issues outlined, you are ready to begin your movement forward toward achieving these goals. Here are some action steps that will help you work the law of probability in your favor: o Visualize your desire in detail and use emotion and feeling. Hint: the more you can FEEL it, the more magnetic your desire becomes. Remember when you were a child and you REALLY wanted that bicycle or, in my case, that doll. When you thought about it, you were flying down the road, wind in your hair, experiencing the freedom of having your new bike. You met up with your “biker” friends and went on adventures and laughed jovially. Or, in my case, I took care of my doll and she (yes, a girl) had her own bed and highchair. We cuddled and I talked to her. It was all very real. Well that’s what you have to do to obtain your current wish. o Pay attention to what your intuition brings you. Is there a phone call you need to make, a trip that calls to you, a group you need to join, or a book you are beaconed to read? Follow your intuition. It works as the crow flies – straight to your goal. o Take action. Sometimes the action is to let go of your desire and do your normal, daily activities. When you let go, you are letting God. Essentially, that means get out of the way. o Be active, don’t sit around and wait for Mr. Wonderful to show up, or someone to call with a great job offer. With high levels of activity, your probability increases. With MORE activity the idea of being at the right place, at the right time, with the right people is greatly increased. o Decide how successful you want to be and match appropriate action to that goal. And, in the mean time, put yourself in a “giving” mode. Two reasons: 1) Giving takes attention off yourself and 2) Giving opens up your field of energy for receiving. Energy cycles – when you give energy, it comes back to you. The more you give, the more you receive. The formula: Desire + Visualization with feeling + listening to your intuition + activity = manifestation Brian Tracy says it well: “If you want to be more successful, develop a bias for action. Develop a sense of urgency. Take action. Get on with it. Move fast. The faster you move, the more energy you have. The faster you move, the more experience you gain and the better you get. The faster you move, the more results you accomplish and the more successful you will be. “

How to Lose There are a lot of reasons people don’t meet their goals or accomplish their dreams. If you are willing to lose in life, here is a set of rules that will help. 1) Don’t take risks. 2) Be satisfied, complacent. 3) Before you act, consider, “What will people think of me.” Let this be your dominant concern. 4) Avoid change. In fact, hold to the status quo. Make “This is the way we’ve always done it” your credo. 5) Maintain rigid attitudes; be opinionated. 6) Rely on the authority of others to make decisions. (That way you can blame them when things turns out badly.) 7) Make comfort your top priority. 8) Do not concern yourself with customer satisfaction or service. 9) Let your competitor lead the way. (Remember, innovation might fail.) 10) Do not put yourself out for anyone. (This works well in losing in relationships too.) 11) Be “good enough”. (Don’t stretch too far; better safe than sorry.) 12) Rationalize and be defensive. (Then people won’t bother you with problems.) 13) Make excuses and blame others 14) Shirk responsibility; don’t do anything extra. If your greatest objective is to tailor “other people’s opinions” versus a willingness to be unique, make your own decisions, and be your own advocate, this list probably reflects your personal style. Otherwise, you might check it against your personal philosophy and work habits, and it is possible you will discover your blocks to success. If so, pick one or two items each week to concentrate on changing. In this way, you have the potential to reflect a more positive, self possessed person, who not only takes himself seriously, but is willing to pay his dues to be who he wants to be, and live the life he wants to live.

Finding the Pearl Oysters live inside hard shells and have soft, sensitive bodies. When a grain of sand pushes into the shell, the oyster experiences great agony. If the oyster is unable to remove the painful irritant, it tries another approach and coats the sand with layers of soft iridescent mother of pearl. Thus what was initially an annoyance is transformed, over time, into a beautiful object of great value. The same thing happens to each of us when faced with life’s irritations. We have the choice to react in pain and agony or find a way to use the problem/challenge to create something of value. The merchandiser, J. C. Penney, was challenged as the seventh of twelve children in a very poor family. He decided to use his capacity for enterprise to get what he wanted. Consequently Penney raised and sold pigs to buy his school clothes. The undertaking that created a practical solution for purchasing school clothes, eventually expanded into a lucrative business, J.C. Penney department stores. Joe was Chief Engineer at a company that was downsizing. When he lost his job, he was momentarily sad until he realized that finally he had the time and opportunity to start his own business. Had Joe’s job not been eliminated, he would never have pursued entrepreneurship. Joe ultimately developed a successful business, created greater personal freedom and fulfilled his dreams. All this evolved from a situation that was initially an irritant. There are pearls hidden in every situation. They are the seeds of a new way (career, relationship, business, hobby, process). The choice is to be a victim of circumstances or an opportunist. Recognizing opportunity requires vision, willingness, courage, effort, determination, and action. Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to find the pearls?