The Surrender Experiment In Michael A. Singer’s latest book, The Surrender Experiment, he tells a story about meditating outdoors alone near a secluded lake in Mexico. All of a sudden, he heard men and horses approach. He remained in meditation and fought to stay centered. His rational mind went into fear and worry about what was going to happen next. “Who are these men? What do they want with me?” When he finally opened his eyes, he faced several men on horses who worked for the landowner and were patrolling the property for him. In broken Spanish, Michael communicated with the Mexicans. They invited him to their village to meet their families. He was afraid, but unwilling to give in to the fear. As he entered the village with the men, everyone welcomed him warmly. The people graciously invited him to eat with them. They generously shared their meager food supplies. They seemed excited to meet an American. Singer did his best to communicate his practice of meditation with the villagers. By the time he departed, they were fast friends. He felt humbled that his mind had gone into fear when confronted with a strange situation. Because he had determinedly stayed open to the new opportunity, everything turned out beautifully. This incident clarified to Singer that practicing non-judgment and staying open to love was being reinforced in his life. He accepted the situation and, thus, he was in a state of openness and love. The Mexicans accepted him in the same way. When fear enters the mind, reason is lost. The worst is assumed. In Singer’s case, it became his goal to expunge fear from his thinking and to listen intently to his inner Voice in making decisions. That became his practice. It can become yours, as well. Love, as a mental concern, is liberating. It causes you to recognize your eternal connection with Source. Through the attracting power of love, we draw a never-ending stream of wisdom and understanding that provides endless opportunities to learn valuable lessons.

Everyone Receives when You Give with Right Intention I knew a man named Martin who owned a successful flooring store. He kept to himself most of the time and led a quiet life. One Christmas, he felt inspired, deciding to step out of his usual routine to do something audacious. This was for himself. Martin learned about a single mom who was struggling to meet her family’s needs. He decided to give her $500 anonymously. So, one night, he put five $100 bills in an envelope, along with a holiday greeting. He commenced to walk up to her house, placed the envelope in a conspicuous location by the front door, then rang the doorbell and ran to hide behind a bush. The woman answered the door and picked up the envelope. As she opened it, she let out a surprised and happy gasp. She called out to the night air, “Thank you!” Martin was so excited, he couldn’t sleep that night. As he told me this story, he beamed with joy. It was apparent that Martin got the greater blessing that night. We can all give as Martin did. In every day and every way and with every person we can give with Highest intention! Everything is brighter when we do!

Your Journey... A space vehicle is propelled by rockets that fire in programmed sequence, much the same way as we are propelled along life path by other people or events that influence us. Sometimes these influences are profoundly positive and create major transitional moments. We look back at them as ; land marks on the terrain of our lives. Other times, the event or person seems negative or ominous. Even so, they create the change we need at the time. All of us can look to the past and recall events that were turning points and people whose effect was transforming. Our parents obviously fit this category. They provided our first boost into this world and their effect stayed with us for quite some time. As parental influence waned, the next “rocket” may have been a friend, or teacher, and then the next rocket, a boss, spouse or mentor. Each person provided the exact experience we required to move ourselves forward. As you have been propelled, coached, encouraged and benefited by others, you have a similar opportunity to serve others. This may feel like a responsibility or it can be recognized as a privilege and joy, depending on your approach and willingness to give back. Every day we have numerous occasions to supply this service. It can be as simple as a compliment, positive reinforcement, kind word, or as easy as gathering the accumulated newspapers of an absent neighbor, holding the door for someone with a package, preparing a meal for someone in transition, being present at a time of grief, or any other thoughtful act. Everyone needs a cheering-on, support and appreciation. There are vast amounts of negativity and fear in the world. We have the privilege of providing positive energy and the honor of helping those less fortunate. That privilege not only enriches others, but ourselves as well. As we consider ourselves rockets to boost the performance, empowerment and success of others, we take ourselves a little more seriously as well. _____________________

Everyone Receives when You Give with Right Intention I knew a man named Martin who owned a successful flooring store. He kept to himself most of the time and led a quiet life. One Christmas, he felt inspired, deciding to step out of his usual routine to do something audacious. This was for himself. Martin learned about a single mom who was struggling to meet her family’s needs. He decided to give her $500 anonymously. So, one night, he put five $100 bills in an envelope, along with a holiday greeting. He commenced to walk up to her house, placed the envelope in a conspicuous location by the front door, then rang the doorbell and ran to hide behind a bush. The woman answered the door and picked up the envelope. As she opened it, she let out a surprised and happy gasp. She called out to the night air, “Thank you!” Martin was so excited, he couldn’t sleep that night. As he told me this story, he beamed with joy. It was apparent that Martin got the greater blessing that night. We can all give as Martin did. In every day and every way and with every person we can give with Highest intention! Everything is brighter when we do!

Dealing with Difficult Relationships during the Holidays The holiday season is upon us once again and it offers the possibility of healing some old wounds. Sometimes when certain people or relatives show up, there is a sense of heaviness or dread that goes back years to previous pain suffered with those individuals, but we can change this. Let’s bring this into perspective. Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? You sat in a little chair behind a tiny desk. Well, guess what, you now possess a beautiful adult body that no longer fits in that teeny desk or scenario. In the same way, trying to operate from old outmoded thought patterns that continually bring pain no longer fits. And, holding on to relationships and memories that need to go, no longer serves your highest good. Reverting back and allowing the expectations and demands of family members to be a source of unhappiness and stress, when what you really want is to be authentically yourself and at peace is not acceptable. The conflict may appear to be a choice between being who you are and not having peace with your relatives, or having peace at the price of being inauthentic. Yet, being peaceful and authentic can define your relationship with your family. First, though, you may have to assess your relationship with yourself. In order to change the nature of any relationship, you'll have to adjust your thinking about it and consider that you are the source of your anguish, rather than the individual you've labeled as the troublemaker, and/or annoying and despicable. The rule is that people treat you the way you have trained them to treat you. Over the years, all of these folks have been treating you exactly as you have trained them with your reactions and behaviors. This can miraculously change when you choose to be at peace with everyone in your life—most particularly, your relatives. If the focus of your internal dialogue about your relationships is it on what they're doing wrong, then that's precisely how your relationship with them will be experienced. If your mind chatter centers on what's annoying about them that will be your focus. But if you're thinking, I am authentic and peaceful with this relative, then that's what you will experience—even if that person continues to be exactly the way he or she has always been. In other words, make your decision and stand by it. The key to having peace is forgiveness. Your relatives are simply doing what they have been taught to do over a lifetime, and the lifetimes of their predecessors. Step away from judgment and expectation and shower them instead with understanding and forgiveness. Rather than keeping yourself in a state of stress, decide to be grateful for their presence in your life and the opportunity for you to grow. There is a bonus likelihood that you will see dramatic changes in your relatives as you instruct them with your own persona how you intend to be treated. But if they don't choose to change, and they continue their non-peaceful ways, release your need to transform them. It is perfect in the Universe, as you are her are offering them the same. As you transform and live in peace, you increase the odds of helping others do the same. It is all a matter of choice.

The Art of Giving and Receiving There is a wonderful legend about a wanderer in the desert who happens on a spring of clear, fresh water. He excitedly fills his jug with water and dashes off to share his precious treasure with the king. The wanderer crosses a great distance over many days to eventually arrive at the palace and offer his gift to the king. As the king tastes the water, he smiles and profusely thanks the wanderer for his wonderful gift. The members of the court rush forward to have a taste, expecting to savor cool, clean water. Instead, they are repulsed with hot, stale water and they spit it out. A member of the court inquired of the king, “How could you give thanks for this spoiled water?" The king smiled and divulged that it was not the water he tasted, but the spirit in which it was given. Receiving a gift is an art unto itself. Remembering that it is not the gift but the spirit of the giver that is most important can make us all better givers and receivers. President Calvin Coolidge spoke of giving when he said, “No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” Writer, Margaret Lee Bundeck, declared that “Giving is a necessity sometimes more urgent, indeed, than having.” Activist, Stephen S. Wise, stated his views on giving thusly: “An unshared life is not living. He who shares does not lessen, but greatens his life.” I hope that these words of wisdom help to brighten your holidays and encourage each of you to develop your own Art of Giving and Receiving that you may experience the great joy of both!!

The Law of Failure People have a lot of misconceptions about failure. John Keats said, “Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true.” Keats is referring to the “Law of Failure.” It states that your level of success is directly proportional to how often you fail. Everyone, at some point, deals with failure. If we let failing at something defeat us, we’re in for a succession of depleting experiences. Famed basketball player, Michael Jordan has an interesting perspective on failure: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” The best basketball player ever has missed so much, has failed so many times, yet his talent, hard work and perseverance made him a great success. Jordan is clear that his failures were the building blocks of his success. Thomas Edison was also learned in the art of failure. He discovered early in life that failure is the road to success. After 50,000 attempts to invent the light bulb, he felt he was close to his goal, because now he knew 50,000 ways that didn’t work. Thomas J. Watson, the founder of IBM, was also no stranger to failure. Watson ran afoul of the antitrust laws and had been fired as the sales manager of the National Cash Register Co. At 40 years of age, he was under jail sentence, and without home or job and with little money. Yet, even with this extraordinary pressure, Watson emerged to establish one of the most successful, innovative businesses in America. Falling down helps us learn to pick ourselves up again. This is a valuable skill, if you plan on succeeding. Decide how you want your life to be. Then create a plan for where you are right now, knowing that it will change as you grow. Then begin your journey with the first step. Don’t let rejection, failure or falling down stop you. If one phase of your plan doesn’t work, step back and reassess. Taking time daily to consider where you are and where you’re going, clears your mind and creates room for new ideas. Concentrate on your desire. Don’t get attached to how you achieve it. You can follow Edison’s example of discovering ways it won’t work, so that you move closer to ways that do work. Join the ranks of Jordan, Edison, Watson and many others by sticking to your goals regardless of what happens, thereby turning “failure” into a meaningless, obsolete word. So the key is not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up and keep going. The only real failure is not trying at all. _____________________________________