Feeling Stuck

Dear JW: For the past few years, I’ve been extremely unhappy about certain issues in my life but I never seem to take action to change these. Constantly struggling with “stuck” feelings, it seems I’ll be trapped in this unhappiness forever. How do I eliminate my block and make these important changes? Trapped Dear Trapped: It is hard to help you eliminate your block without knowing more about your situation but I believe I can safely say, that what keeps you stuck is a conflict in your beliefs. For instance, if you are unhappy in a relationship but feel it is wrong to leave, you are at odds with yourself. Or, if you are not stimulated or happy in your business but consider it a sign of failure to close it, you are in conflict. Or, if you think you must save all your money but feel that you’re missing out on life by not providing yourself experiences, again you are pulling against yourself. When our personal needs (love, stimulation, connection, peace) promote one kinds of activity and our long-held beliefs push us toward another, we are in trouble and most likely STUCK. At some point, you must examine your beliefs and determine if they are helping you or hurting you. The interesting thing about beliefs is they can be changed. Most of our beliefs have been formed from misinterpretation of events. For instance, you may have been reprimanded for dripping ice cream on your shirt as a child and there after decide that eating ice cream is bad. Or, you may have heard someone vehemently rail against a segment of society (wealthy people, a particular race or ethnic group), and decided that “those” people are all bad. This prejudice will remain until you re-examine your interpretation, recognize your error, and change your belief to something more healthy and expansive. Is ice cream bad? Are various socio-economic or ethnic groups any better or worse than anyone else? What do you think? What do you believe? What is the truth?