Kindness as a Path to Personal Transformation

“If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.” Dalia Lama The ancient philosopher Philo of Alexandria (20AD – 50 AD) spoke similarly: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” It is often difficult for us to recognize that each person has his/her own challenges. We can become so engulfed in our own issues we forget to acknowledge the people around us. When times seem tough, there is a tendency to pull back into one’s own world and as one does that, he becomes smaller, his energy field constricts. It is the same with victimhood. When we identify with what is not working and immerse ourselves in struggle, we can easily forget that others have pain as well. Soon our world is quite tiny. We must guard against isolation for it diminishes us. We are constructed to allow energy to flow through us and we cannot do that when isolated. We are healthier when we allow energy to flow and express – give it away. We have more love, when we give it away. The way to reverse the process of isolation and restriction is through kindness, gentleness, gratitude and love. Each of these expands energy. When you are feeling stuck, a simple act of kindness will move your attention from your small world to an expanded consciousness. A Hebrew holy book states that “The secret to happiness is giving.” Often people think they have not given unless the gift is substantial. (A million dollars to develop a hospital wing). Yet, the truth is that every small gift matters and can change lives for each act has a ripple effect. If someone treats you with kindness and compassion, your tendency is to do the same to others. Kindness inspired kindness. Lena Horne said that she really didn’t become a successful human being until she took time to be kinder to everyone. In her words, “it was my responsibility to remove my own chip from my own shoulder. When I did, the world became a sweeter place and great success professional and personal, followed.” To seek personal expansion and transformation, we must also remove the chip from our own shoulder and release our obsession with personal struggles. As we extend ourselves, our world not only expands but brightens. We are now truly in the Light. Kindness can be skill we cultivate until it becomes natural. It can be as simple as waiting graciously while others are served, or smiling at strangers. Notice the opportunities that are presented to be kind. Can you hold open a door for someone struggling with packages? Say a kind word; express encouragement; do something above and beyond your duty? George H W Bush said, “American is never wholly herself unless she is engaged in high moral principle. We as people have such a purpose today. It is to make kinder the face of the nation and gentler the face of the world.” Kindness is the soul's path out of loneliness to a destination of jo9y. Make it a commitment.

Processional Caterpillars

Processional Caterpillars eat pine needles. They move through the trees in a long procession, one leading and the rest following behind. Each one, his eyes half-closed, fits snugly against the rear of his predecessor. A French naturalist, experimented with a group of these caterpillars. He successfully enticed them to the rim of a large pot and eventually connected the first one in the line to the last one, thus forming a circle with neither beginning nor end. He fully expected that after a time, they would figure out the joke, get tired of their futile march and head off in a new direction. But they didn’t. Through force of habit, the creeping circle of caterpillars kept moving around the rim of the pot. Round and round they went, keeping the same relentless pace for seven days and nights and probably would not have stopped then were it not for exhaustion and starvation. Incidentally, there was an large visible supply of food near by, but it not within the range of the circle they walked, so the caterpillars didn’t get to it. Instead they followed their habit, custom, tradition, precedent, past experience, “standard operating procedure” blindly, one behind the other, until they died. They interpreted activity for accomplishment. They meant well, but got no where. Which of your habits, traditions, procedures, methods, customs are getting you no where? Are you ready to open your eyes and notice what you’re doing and where you’re going? If you are covering the same territory, learning the same lessons, and not progressing, it might be time to choose a different route, pattern, or goal. Resistance to change, holding outdated opinions, staying on the beaten path because that’s what you’ve always done can lead to a lifeless redundancy and stagnation.

Right or Wrong?

My husband and I are continually fighting about the stupidest things. When it’s over, I am angry at myself for getting hooked in another right-wrong battle. I need a new strategy? I want peace! Conflicted Dear Conflicted: You have a common relationship problem. Right-Wrong thinking and the accompanying competition are ego issues. It works like this, “I’m right, therefore, you’re wrong”. Both people want the last word (to be right). The more you want to win, the easier it is to be hooked into debating. Ask yourself why it matters who’s right or wrong and you’ll discover your ego issue. (You can only work on your issue, not his.) Also, is being right more important than experiencing harmony in the relationship? If so, you’ve made a poor choice. Being right can often relate to being alone. Who wants to do battle over every little issue? Look closely! Both of you want validation and neither will give it. Try this instead, next time the “disagreement” occurs, face your spouse and tell him, “You’re right”. The truth is you both have a right to your opinion and one person’s idea doesn’t invalidate or supersede the other. Of course, if there is never agreement, the marriage is probably in jeopardy anyway, but it never works to force your ideas on others. When you focus on your personal self and being right, instead of what is good for all, you are working from ego. Ego demands attention and doesn’t care what the cost is in getting it. Instead, honor your individuality by allowing both to be right. Accept your differences and each one’s right to his viewpoint. Thus you release conflict and allow peace to move into the relationship. Broaden this practice by saying to everyone, “you’re right”. The driver who passes you waving his fist and cursing – “You’re right”. The crabby friend / relative who phones to rail against someone – “You’re right”. The disgruntled employee / boss / sales clerk -- “You’re right”. Then go about your business. Life is not a consensus. You don’t need permission to think what you want. Meanwhile, persist in expressing your highest regard for each person. Continue to give love, understanding, and compassion rather than a small black-white perspective of right versus wrong and the ledger keeping score. Guess what! You’re free!! Enjoy!

Everyone has Genius

Look for my next class which will be: Mediation, Dreams and Psychic Ability. In this class I will help you develop a grat meditation practice as well as techniques for working with your dreams (Yes, they are important and filled with wisdom). And I will help you develop stronger psychic and intuitive abilities. These are most important in learning how to be in harmony with our Greater Intelligence - the Universe. They will save you much pain, struggle and anguish as you use these amazing tools. I will send you the info on this class later in June and it will start in July. If you can't make all the classes, don't worry, I will email you the information covered. Lastly, please note the information on the 52 Weeks email class: How to Make the Connection to Spirit and Joy and Change your Life Forever. It is a gentle, step-by-step approaching to developing your own Spiritual practice that moves you into a non-resistant, non-judgment, peaceful state that creates a life of joy and freedom.

Feeling Stuck

Dear JW: For the past few years, I’ve been extremely unhappy about certain issues in my life but I never seem to take action to change these. Constantly struggling with “stuck” feelings, it seems I’ll be trapped in this unhappiness forever. How do I eliminate my block and make these important changes? Trapped Dear Trapped: It is hard to help you eliminate your block without knowing more about your situation but I believe I can safely say, that what keeps you stuck is a conflict in your beliefs. For instance, if you are unhappy in a relationship but feel it is wrong to leave, you are at odds with yourself. Or, if you are not stimulated or happy in your business but consider it a sign of failure to close it, you are in conflict. Or, if you think you must save all your money but feel that you’re missing out on life by not providing yourself experiences, again you are pulling against yourself. When our personal needs (love, stimulation, connection, peace) promote one kinds of activity and our long-held beliefs push us toward another, we are in trouble and most likely STUCK. At some point, you must examine your beliefs and determine if they are helping you or hurting you. The interesting thing about beliefs is they can be changed. Most of our beliefs have been formed from misinterpretation of events. For instance, you may have been reprimanded for dripping ice cream on your shirt as a child and there after decide that eating ice cream is bad. Or, you may have heard someone vehemently rail against a segment of society (wealthy people, a particular race or ethnic group), and decided that “those” people are all bad. This prejudice will remain until you re-examine your interpretation, recognize your error, and change your belief to something more healthy and expansive. Is ice cream bad? Are various socio-economic or ethnic groups any better or worse than anyone else? What do you think? What do you believe? What is the truth?

Faith, Belief, Knowing!

“Believe you can and you can.” Norman Vincent Peale Henry David Thoreau often indicated that belief in an enterprise is the one thing fundamental to its success. So if you have a goal, believe that you can attain it. Believe that you are, even now, in the process of attainment. There are many stories of people who had come up from poverty to achieve great success in life. One is from a woman whose family was so poor that people often brought them food baskets. As a little girl, she was so humiliated that her father couldn’t support the family that she would hide and cry bitterly. But that is when she created the goal that helped her become successful. Poverty can be a great motivator. It has probably made more people than any other one factor. James Cash Penney, the great merchant, was the seventh of 12 children. He was only eight years old when he started raising pigs to earn money for his clothes. He said that one of his great motivators was adversity. He went explained that adversity taught him to never give up, always start over, keep his faith strong, and realize that adversity makes a person strong. There was a fellow named, Al Haake, who suffered from acute stuttering. Children laughed at him in school. They called him out in baseball games, just to hear him stutter. It was demoralizing. Then one afternoon, Haake heard a US senator speak. He said, “Look, you can do anything you want to do, if you believe in your self.” Al Haake wanted to believe he could speak clearly. Thus he began putting pebbles in his mouth because he had read that a man named Demosthenes did that. Ultimately, Haake became a great speaker. He was employed by General Motors Corporation to speak throughout the country. He held people spellbound by his clarity, articulation, message and beauty of speech.