How to Lose There are a lot of reasons people don’t meet their goals or accomplish their dreams. If you are willing to lose in life, here is a set of rules that will help. 1) Don’t take risks. 2) Be satisfied, complacent. 3) Before you act, consider, “What will people think of me.” Let this be your dominant concern. 4) Avoid change. In fact, hold to the status quo. Make “This is the way we’ve always done it” your credo. 5) Maintain rigid attitudes; be opinionated. 6) Rely on the authority of others to make decisions. (That way you can blame them when things turns out badly.) 7) Make comfort your top priority. 8) Do not concern yourself with customer satisfaction or service. 9) Let your competitor lead the way. (Remember, innovation might fail.) 10) Do not put yourself out for anyone. (This works well in losing in relationships too.) 11) Be “good enough”. (Don’t stretch too far; better safe than sorry.) 12) Rationalize and be defensive. (Then people won’t bother you with problems.) 13) Make excuses and blame others 14) Shirk responsibility; don’t do anything extra. If your greatest objective is to tailor “other people’s opinions” versus a willingness to be unique, make your own decisions, and be your own advocate, this list probably reflects your personal style. Otherwise, you might check it against your personal philosophy and work habits, and it is possible you will discover your blocks to success. If so, pick one or two items each week to concentrate on changing. In this way, you have the potential to reflect a more positive, self possessed person, who not only takes himself seriously, but is willing to pay his dues to be who he wants to be, and live the life he wants to live.

Finding the Pearl Oysters live inside hard shells and have soft, sensitive bodies. When a grain of sand pushes into the shell, the oyster experiences great agony. If the oyster is unable to remove the painful irritant, it tries another approach and coats the sand with layers of soft iridescent mother of pearl. Thus what was initially an annoyance is transformed, over time, into a beautiful object of great value. The same thing happens to each of us when faced with life’s irritations. We have the choice to react in pain and agony or find a way to use the problem/challenge to create something of value. The merchandiser, J. C. Penney, was challenged as the seventh of twelve children in a very poor family. He decided to use his capacity for enterprise to get what he wanted. Consequently Penney raised and sold pigs to buy his school clothes. The undertaking that created a practical solution for purchasing school clothes, eventually expanded into a lucrative business, J.C. Penney department stores. Joe was Chief Engineer at a company that was downsizing. When he lost his job, he was momentarily sad until he realized that finally he had the time and opportunity to start his own business. Had Joe’s job not been eliminated, he would never have pursued entrepreneurship. Joe ultimately developed a successful business, created greater personal freedom and fulfilled his dreams. All this evolved from a situation that was initially an irritant. There are pearls hidden in every situation. They are the seeds of a new way (career, relationship, business, hobby, process). The choice is to be a victim of circumstances or an opportunist. Recognizing opportunity requires vision, willingness, courage, effort, determination, and action. Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to find the pearls?

Regenerate Mind and Body Chronic fatigue is a wide spread problem. It comes from over-commitment, perfectionism, trying to be and do everything – superman/woman concept. People suffering with it, feel victimized, hopeless and out of control. To deal with this or any problem, face it squarely, the same way you confront your enemy to determine his strength and resources. By courageously facing a dilemma, it opens to you allowing perception of cause and possible solutions. Energy loss results when we try to live in impractical ways. Adopting senseless rules, letting others set your goals, attempting to make others happy (instead of yourself), allowing fear to dominate your thinking, trying to create external rather than internal peace and performing work that conflicts with your value system. These standards drain energy and enthusiasm because they are pointless, ineffective and unattainable. Heal yourself of low energy by creating new strategies. Create a new game plan. The habit is living ineffectively. It is broken by developing new, healthy behaviors. To revitalize enthusiasm, get in touch with your needs and desires and develop of system of marching to your own drummer. That doesn’t mean stepping on others, as that benefits no one, and has a negative backlash. Desire is the polar opposite of fear thus to alter fear -thinking, concentrate on what you want. In general, we are taught to operate from fear and not love. Yet this changes when we get a clear focus. For example, if you want to return to school, clarify what you want from the experience. Don’t go because you’re afraid to be without higher education. Register after you have determined your benefit. Action taken to fulfill a dream engenders excitement, energy. Another way to waste energy is doing things for people who can do them for themselves. When you make your children’s bed and clean their rooms, you deny them the opportunity to develop life skills, self-esteem and independence. Needy people are also draining. You can never please them,. No matter what you do it is not enough. Their needs are unquenchable. Evaluate your life and release meaningless actions, and obligations. That will free volumes of time for movement and growth. Doing what is right for you is enriching, increases energy, and makes you happy. You are inspired and inspiring. You easily give more to others. They easily return the gift. What beliefs and activities are draining your energy? What do you need to let go of?

It Never Hurts to Ask! Have you ever blocked yourself from going for what you really desired because it seemed too outrageous to attempt? Or has the fear of looking stupid, even though the opportunity was ripe, kept you from asking for what you wanted? If so, keep reading. There is an inventive fifth grade-writing teacher in Michigan who has helped his students get over these hurdles early in life. One of his class assignments is to write to local businesses and make “outlandish” requests. The teacher’s primary intention in making this assignment is to encourage students to make letter-writing fun. So, in addition to making the outlandish request, his students are to tell something personal about themselves and explain their project. The strange and interesting thing is that the kids usually get what they have asked for. Some of the requests from businesses that have been granted include a month’s supply of chocolate milk and a lifetime supply of french-fries. Don't you just love the creativity of this teacher and the fun the kids must have had as they received the answers to their requests? Wouldn't it be amazing if they decided to take this assignment into their lives - for the rest of their lives? Thus besides providing the students with an inventive, fun writing assignment, the teacher contributes hands-on experience in one of life’s important lessons. That no matter how outrageous you might perceive your wishes to be, you might as well ask as you just might receive the very thing you desire. It never hurts to ask! Is there anything you need to ask for right now?

What to do about worry? There are many thoughts regarding worry. Some people think that if I love you, then mustI worry about you. The truth is that if I think of you and worry, I am sending negative thought/energy your way. That doesn't necessarily jive with love. As a matter of fact, love is at the opposite end of the spectrum from worry. You can actually feel the difference. Think of something you worry about and notice the reaction in your body. The feeling that goes with worry is tightness, stress, darkness, gloom. Now, consider the idea of love (think of someone or thing you love) and feel what happens in your body. You will notice a completely different reaction. The body feels light, open, happy. That is probably the kind of energy you want to send to someone you feel good about. So why is it then that there is so much worry in the world? My own thought on this is that in our fear-based world, we tend to live externally. In other words, we let our five senses - sight, smell, sound, feel, taste tell us what is going on. Yet the truth is that our senses only relay a tiny amount of what is happening. If we were to reverse our attention and go inside - into our inner world - we could feel and sense a much broader reality. There is continuous energy moving in literally every sector of our lives. In fact, nothing is static - it is all changing. The problem is that we don't know the direction it is headed and until you develop some faith in the goodness (love) of the Universe, it is easy to revert back to fear. You see, we believe we have to know what is happening, where it is headed, and what will be the outcome. This is the way a fear-based mind thinks. Actually, you don't need to know these things. Consider this, the seasons come and go in perfect timing and order one unto the next. The night turns to day and day to night without any direction from you. The stars shine and the planets circle the earth in lovely symetry. Every tree knows how to products thousands of leaves. You can worry about these things, but nothing will change if you do. So, what would happen if you decide, I'm not going to worry and when my mind wants to go that way, I will get busy and do something. Any kind of task will work to redirect your mind. Another way to adjust your attention is to go into gratitude. All of us have tons of things to be grateful for - our homes, friends, food, clothing, sunshine, trees, etcetera. It goes on and on. The mind cannot hold gratitude (which is love) and fear (worry) at the same time. So in redirecting to gratitude, you have shifted your energy. You do have control of your mind, so take it. In Dale Carnegie's book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, he quotes George Bernard Shaw, who summed it all up when he said: 'The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.' So don't bother to think about it! Get busy. Your blood will circulate and your imagination will start ticking and there will be a positive upsurge of life in your body. Get busy Keep busy. _____________________________

Blog: Yes You Can, Laugh Yourself to Health Did you know that laughing has a healing effect on the body? People have overcome serious illness through the use of comedy. Laughing at old Jerry Lewis flicks or Austin Powers allows tension, depression and suppressed negativity associated with the past to be released, at least temporarily. Humor lets you see another side of life, form a new perspective. You let go of heaviness, intensity, smallness, anything that contracts or restricts you.. You may even reach the point of laughing at yourself. Every situation has a humorous side. Become an observer of life. Do you own laugh therapy. Stand back and instead of looking at how bad things are, train yourself to see absurdity. Observe the way people manipulate each other, rationalize, blame or get carried away with details missing the point. You have no control over others’ actions, and they surely bear the consequences of them, so you may as well notice and enjoy. Try to see a bigger picture of life. What is really happening? Keeping the purpose of an event in mind allows you to recognize silly actions or reactions – even your own. Enjoying life, keeps you healthy. How many happy people have you seen with serious illnesses? I’m not referring to clowns who crack jokes to cover insecure egos but well-adjusted individuals who don’t go off the deep end over inconsequential concerns, they maintain perspective, and play life as a game. Laughter and joy are health-producing stimulants. Joy increases circulation; laughter shakes your body, loosening and soothing tense nerves and muscles. Fun allows body parts to return to their natural rhythm and functioning capabilities. There is no muscular resistance to inhibit natural flows and processes. Don’t make your therapy a one-shot deal, but a way of life. I wonder when the next comedic movie plays?

Blog: Hitting the Mark In ancient times an archer would practice shooting arrows at a target. His servant’s job, while fetching the spent arrows, was to ascertain the accuracy of his master’s aim. If the target was missed, the servant called to the archer, “sin”, which meant, he missed his mark. That is how the word “sin” came into beingo Today we use “sin” in other ways. Often it is used to condemn ourselves for failure that amounts only to inexperience. We miss our mark because of lack of knowledge, practice, expertise. As experience is gained, hitting the target or achieving the goal gets easier. Example, when you first drove a car, you were awkward and clumsy. It was hard to remember and perform functions with grace and fluidity. With practice, driving became easy – automatic. If you had condemned yourself for awkwardness while learning, expertise would have come slowly amidst many bad feelings. But viewing the process as an opportunity to learn opens the mind to objectivity and optimism. We tend to view mistakes as sins and judge them terrible, rather than inexperience. We expect perfect results immediately, instead of seeing that expertise comes with practice and determination. When a rocket is shot, radar determines whether it hit or missed its target. If the rocket misses, adjustments are made to correct the next one’s path. The goal and ultimate result is contact with the target. We can view our journey through life the same way. Corrections must be made. Perhaps daily. We may also choose a different target. Eventually we arrive at our destination. Making adjustments objectively, without condemnation, encourages progress. Criticizing yourself impedes it. Apply this principle to learning any new skill – cooking, accounting, communication, golf, investments, relating to people. Each area requires practice. With practice comes success. Are you hitting your mark? Are you enjoying your journey?