Wednesday, December 13, 2017
What Could You do if You Could not Fail?
Have you heard the story of the trial attorney who never lost a case? Early in his career, he was advised to “remember his feet.” Thinking about his feet proved to be a way to stay centered. As a result, when he went to court he was ready for whatever happened because he was continually stable and centered. He never lost his cool or reacted. Consequently he was prepared for the surprises that regularly popped up during trials.
This is important because when we lose our cool, get angry or intense, or react emotionally, we go in to, or function from, the reptilian brain (emotional brain) and logic shuts down. Alternatively, when we stay non-reactive, centered and focused, we remain open to inspiration and ideas. The dynamic, imaginative higher mind clicks in with strategies and solutions
There are various ways to stay centered. For instance, people trained in the Marshal Arts learn to move and act from their core or center. Instead of their feet, they focus on their core (solar plexus). Some call it the abdominal brain. As they practice self-defense techniques, they develop strong core balance, strength, and movement. As a result and most importantly they train to stay connected to their center. In this way, they can feel the energy around them and shift appropriately when it changes.
The same thing is true for everyone. The more we stay connected to our inner core of peace, the more sensitive we are to changes occurring around us and our ability to shift and move accordingly is strengthened. That leads to appropriate responses.
The boxer, Evander Holyfield, learned this lesson when he was young. As a kid he fought another boy and lost. He went home and told his mother. She said, “Go out there and fight him again.” He went out and battled the kid again and lost again. When he arrived home a second time, his mother said, “Go out there and fight him again.” Holyfield fought the other kid four times. Finally he won the fourth fight. By that time, Holyfield had determined to remain cool and observe his opponent, which helped him to discern his weaknesses. Ultimately he used his developed observation skills to recognize the weaknesses in all his opponents. Holyfield developed the ability to use these to his advantage. In that way he transformed what was initially a fear reaction into a studied, calm response. The result: he became a prize-winning boxer and champion.
Actor, Jim Carey offers another example of learning to stay centered. At age 14 he informed his father that he wanted to be a professional comedian. Thereby his dad drove him to a comedy club where Carey was laughed off the floor. Undaunted, Carey took the criticism as a challenge. In other words, he used it to motivate practice, practice, practice, while staying centered. The rest is history. His comedic movies have been major box office hits. The demand for his highly paid movies and performances has accrued him millions.
Fear keeps you in the reptilian brain (reactive). Need I say more?
When you notice fear has made its appearance, take a few deep breaths and move back to your center. Your center is quiet and you can regroup.
If you contemplate the things that don’t work for you, you might discover the reason… too much internal criticism, disempowering beliefs, and no centering. Alternatively notice what works well for you and you might recognize that while doing those particular things you stay focused, relaxed, and have the courage to deal with whatever is necessary, even if it temporarily seems overwhelming. In other words, you are non-reactive and functioning with full capacity. The bottom line is: What could you accomplish if you could not fail? Get centered. You know, remember your feet and go for it!
Jean Walters is a St. Louis based Transformational Coach, Akashic Record Reader, teacher and author of Set Yourself Free: Live the Life You were Meant to Live! And Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible – Other have and you can too! her website is: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com - you can find her books on Amazon.com
Thursday, November 30, 2017
The Problem with Giving and Receiving (graciously)!
We are in the throes of the holiday season and facing the prospect of giving and receiving gifts. There are many learned people who have much to say about both. Here are a few quotes:
“Those who give cheerfully give twice – once to others once to themselves.” Anonymous
“One man gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.” Proverbs 11:24,
“To give is to receive, but only if one does not give in order to receive.” Wade Hudson
Years ago I learned this lesson. When you give a gift, offer it with love and without concern for how it is received. In other words, you have control over the giving but not the receiving. Give with an open heart and generosity of spirit.
The receiver is responsible for how he accepts the gift. Hopefully, he will receive graciously. This is true whether the gift is an object or a compliment. As author, Stuart Wilde says, if someone gives you a gift, perhaps a hideous tie or scarf, receive it. Later you can decide what to do with it. By putting yourself in a receiving state of mind you are instructing the Universe that you are ready and willing to receive. Whether it is a penny lying on the sidewalk, or a beautiful diamond, receive all gifts with gratitude. “Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” Aesop
This brings to mind a story published in Guideposts Magazine about an 11 year old girl who asked to receive a stocking as tall as she was for Christmas. Her mom, told family and friends to buy small presents for “Mary Ann.” She wanted things that would fit into a Christmas stocking. Each item was to be wrapped individually.
On Christmas Eve, the designated time for opening gifts, Mary Ann’s father and brother went to the back room where the Christmas stockings were hung. There they found a huge red plush stocking with white plush trim across the top. They made a big show of lifting and carrying this enormous stocking (five feet tall by two feet wide) and delivering it to Mary Ann. It was stuffed with presents -- possibly 100 items, each wrapped to perfection. The most impressive part was Mary Ann’s expression as she opened each gift.
“Oh, wow, this is exactly what I wanted.” Or, “This is my favorite thing in the world.” Each candy bar, hair barrette, comb, pair of socks, envelope of bubble bath and package of chewing gum was received with the same exuberance. As she reached the bottom of the stocking, she found her “big present” which was a birthstone ring. She received it with appreciation and the same enthusiasm as the other gifts. Yet, she was no more excited by it than all the other small gifts. She accepted each with equanimity. She felt she had received an incredible bounty. Remembering the excitement of this 11 year old on that Christmas Eve has become a family heirloom and retelling the story a holiday tradition.
It is true, we may not all receive diamond rings and new cars, but we do all receive bountiful gifts each and every day – a smile, a compliment, someone holding the door, a pat on the back, a beautiful sunset. As you graciously accept them, you are living the spirit of the holidays.
Jean Walters is a Transformational Life Coach, Akashic Record Reader, Teacher, and Author. You can find her books on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! and Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! (find your mission and passion) You can reach her at her office 314 991 8439 or jean@spiritualtransformation.com
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Little Blessings become BIG blessings!
Little Blessings become BIG ones!
One month after Wil Smith (no, not the movie star) and his girlfriend broke up, she informed him she was pregnant. Will stated he would do whatever he had to do to take care of the baby. At the time Olivia was born, Wil was in the Navy. He knew that if he stayed in the service, he would always be leaving his daughter on deployment. So, he left the Navy and was accepted at Bowdoin College.
When Olivia was around ten months old, her mother was having a difficult time and reached a breaking point. Will realized that the best thing for Olivia was to take care of her himself.
During his first semester at Bowdoin, he lived off-campus with a roommate and held a cleaning job at Staples at night. Sometimes he took the baby to work with him and hid her in the closet. Being honest with himself, Wil admitted he wasn’t ready for college. He later said to his daughter, “Had I not been able to kiss you good night every night before studying, I would not have had the strength to do it. There were times when the only way I could get through was to check in on you and see you sleeping, then go back to my studies.”
In his second semester, a women who worked at Bowdoin helped him move to campus housing. Even though he was the first single father raising a child on campus, things were finally getting better.
Wil was grateful to know that Olivia was with him and safe. He appreciated that she was easy to care for. She was quiet, didn’t bother anyone, and adapted to school right away. Wil brought her to class, gave her crayons and other things to do, and Olivia sat sit at a desk and kept herself entertained.
Olivia’s first babysitters were Wil’s basketball teammates. He would come from class and find four giant guys and his eighteen-month-old child tearing up the room. He trusted those guys with Olivia.
When Will graduated, he carried Olivia in his arms to get his diploma. “They called both of our names. All my classmates stood up and cheered. They gave me the only standing ovation of the day.”
As Wil describes it, having Olivia was a drastic change in his life, but it was the best thing that ever happened to him. He told Olivia, “I felt like before you came along, my mother, my guardian angel who passed away on my fifteenth birthday, was looking down from heaven and got tired of me drifting through the universe and said, ‘God, please do something. Send that boy someone to take care of.’”
Wil tells that when he was present in the delivery room at Olivia’s birth, “I physically felt something go into my heart. It was a feeling of completeness that I hadn’t felt since my mother had passed.”
This gratitude has spread to Olivia, as well. She came home from school to take care of her father when he was sick. She said, “That first week, when I was home from school, I would cook you dinner, and it made me happy being able to care for you, knowing that my whole life, you were doing that for me. You’re my rock.”
Wil and Olivia Smith personify gratitude. Gratitude for each other, for the opportunity to make a difference, to offer care, and to really love.
Living in gratitude is a law of nature. When you accept and are at peace with your current status, things begin to change naturally, easily. Deep, sincere gratitude sows the seeds that blossom in abundance. This is a principle of nature and it is magnetic. When people feel acknowledged and appreciated by you, they more readily acknowledge and appreciate you. When you are grateful for all you have and all you have experienced, even the seemingly bad stuff, your life expands.
Gratitude is an elevated energy. When you feel it, you are also elevated. Everyone can experience gratitude whenever they want. Look to all that is beautiful and let go of that which seems imperfect. Your mind is pliable. Decide where you want to focus it. To magnetize abundance, joy, love, health, and all good things to you, live in an attitude of gratitude.
This is how you do it. Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, give some love and attention to the things that are. Take a mental inventory of all the things, events, people, and opportunities for which you are grateful. With consistent practice, you will notice that the negative way of thinking will begin to shift. You’ll be able to experience the happiness that is waiting for you.
Here is an exercise: Begin each morning with appreciation for everything and all possibilities. As you do this, expand your feeling so that this sense of gratitude fills the room. Then, end your day with gratitude for all you have experienced and all the ways you have given and received. Again, expand your energy.
When you sleep with this high energy, your mind will be working through the night on all the ways to bring abundance into your life. As you do this exercise, make sure you have at least five things on your gratitude list, morning and evening, and keep adding to the list. Your energy will expand and soar!
(This story is excerpted from Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! by Jean Walters - available on Amazon.com) Jean Walters is also author of Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! available on Amazon.com and Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy website: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com
Monday, November 13, 2017
Become Unstuck - what to do when you are feeling stuck!
Being stuck in indecision or lack of confidence is not only annoying, but time wasting. Here are a few tips on how to stay unstuck.
Traits of People Who Stay Unstuck… at Least Most of the Time
1. Unwilling to stay in extremely unhappy or stress situations indefinitely.
Unstuck people have a kind of happiness set point that is higher than
people who stay stuck.
2. Willing to experiment, try new ways, make mistakes and try a new plan. Unstuck people are not afraid to make mistakes in the interest of achieving a goal. They aren’t hampered by endless thoughts of being right or wrong.
3. Possess a sense of humor and light-heartedness and are able to joke about themselves because there is no shame about their imperfections.
4. Turn obstructions into opportunities thus turning fear into love.
Seven Step Plan to Bring about Change…
à Notice when you’re stuck
à Pay attention
à Show up
à Live in reality
à Connect with others
à Move from thought to action
à Let go
Adapted form If the Buddha Got Stuck, by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D.
Jean Walters is the author of Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! and Be Outrageous: Do the impossible - Others have and you can too (about getting in touch with your passion) - both are available on Amazon.com Also: Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy. Also available on Amazon.com
Enjoy!!!! Jean's website is: www.spiritualtransformation.com
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Tuesday, October 31, 2017
How you keep yourself small and miserable
Have your heard the phrase: Don't hide your light under a bushel basket? In this blog, we explore how we do just that!
The way we get in trouble and create ego-attachment, pain, and struggle in our lives is by trying to live by irrational belief systems. We have all been taught these and they are all based on the idea that we are separate from God/the Universe. Yet, we are NEVER separated from our Source.
Jesus stated: “I Am that I Am.” Later he said: “You are I Am.” Thereby we know that we are the I Am Consciousness and anytime we choose we can look within and experience the Light and feel the Love of the Unified Field / God.
Check out these concepts and see if any of them apply to what you were taught. It you have a similar program, please know that it is important to correct erroneous ideas as they interfere with living our fullness. We end of living a lie as accepting limitation is based on fear and NOT who we truly are. When we think rationally, we unchain ourselves from the ego and live in freedom. I follow with a few erroneous statements. Of course, there are many more, but you get the idea. When you discover these ideas in your thought, change them, remove them, move to higher ground.
Here is a big one. ‘It is a dire necessity to be loved and approved of.’ People have given away their souls over this. “Beverly” wanted her mother-in-law’s approval so she became a people-pleaser. She showed up at all the events, contributed food and helped out. By doing this, she took away from the things she wanted and needed to do. It was time consuming.
The bottom line was she didn’t really like her mother-in-law, “Shirley.” She found her to be tedious, picky and judgmental -- not fun. When I asked Beverly what would happen if Shirley did not like or approve of her, she had no answer. (The idea sent Beverly into a tizzy because it broke her rules of conduct.) When she settled down, she realized that it was a lie to pretend to like Shirley and another lie to care what Shirley thought of her. Her deeper truth was that if she chose the events she wanted to attend and whether she wanted to assist from her own heart’s desire, she could return to her authentic self. She not only did this with her in-laws but with everyone. The result: Beverly developed more confidence and self-trust, and had a lot more fun.
Here is another common error: “It is awful, catastrophic or terrible if things do not go (or stay) the way I want them to.” Because the ego is so fragile, it wants to control everything. “The way I want things to go is the right way.” Think about the audaciousness and arrogance of this idea.
We all have preferences because we want to live joyful, prosperous, secure lives. But to believe that we have the formula for perfect living is ludicrous. So, part of maturing is accepting that if things don’t go exactly as we dictate, it is okay. In fact, it could be an amazing gift.
Do any of these beliefs relate to you?
Jean Walters is the author of: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were Meant to Live! and Be Outrageous: Do the impossible - Others have and you can too! Available through Amazon.com Also, Dreams and the Symbology of Life (Handbook for dream interpretation) by Jean Walters-Lucy is available on Amazon.com Website: www.spiritualtransformation.com 314 991 8439
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Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Are Family Gatherings Painful? How to deal with difficult people!
Do you love your family but react negatively to them at the same time? Have you felt judged by people who are supposed to love you unconditionally? Well watch out because we are approaching the holidays – the time of year when a lot of unresolved pain could roar back into your life. In this article I will give you the tools to address and heal old wounds. That means looking at each relationship with new eyes.
Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? You sat in a little chair behind a tiny desk. Well, guess what, you now possess a beautiful adult body that no longer fits in that teeny desk or scenario. In the same way, trying to operate from old outmoded thought patterns that continually bring pain no longer work. In the same way, holding on to relationships and memories that need to go, does not serve your highest good.
Just because you belong to a family or tribe doesn’t mean you have to allow the expectations and demands of others be a source of unhappiness and stress, especially when what you really want is to be authentically yourself and at peace. Conflicts may appear to be a choice between being authentically yourself and being at war with your relatives, or having “pretend” peace at the price of being phony. Yet, being peaceful and authentic can define your relationship with your family. First, though, you may have to assess your relationship with yourself.
In order to change the nature of any relationship, you have to adjust your thinking about it and consider that you are the source of your discomfort, rather than the individual you've labeled as the troublemaker, annoyance and despicable. The rule is that people treat you the way you have trained them to treat you. Over the years, all of these folks have been treating you exactly as you have trained them with your reactions and behaviors. This can miraculously change when you choose to be at peace with everyone in your life—most particularly, your relatives.
If the focus of your internal dialogue about your relationships is it on what they're doing wrong, then that's precisely how your relationship with them will be experienced. If your mind-chatter centers on what's annoying about them that will be your focus. But if you're thinking, I am authentic and peaceful with this relative, then that's what you will experience—even if that person continues to be exactly the way he or she has always been. In other words, make your decision about yourself and stand by it.
Often we busy ourselves deciding how others should be and then when they are not that - respectful, considerate, kind, thoughtful - we are angry. This is a victim mentality. We are the victim and they are the perpetrators. The problem with this conclusion is that we make ourselves weak and at the mercy of others. Plus, we are not taking into account who and what that person has chosen to be. In other words, actions speak louder than words. What do they do and why?
This examination requires looking at each person objectively. For instance, if Aunt Hannah has a knack for finding something wrong with everything, it is good to understand that is her quirk. It is not your job to change her. In reality, she is making herself miserable and you don’t have to volunteer to be her sidekick and also unhappy. In other words, accept Aunt Hannah as the critical person she chooses to be and let go.
If cousin Harvey likes to make fun of people because that is how he feels better about himself, accept that he has chosen this behavior and by correcting or reacting to him, you have given him exactly what he wants – attention. Cousin Harvey is that way. He feels inferior. Accept it. Don’t take it personally.
The key to happiness is taking care of your own business and letting others take care of theirs. In time you might find these strange behaviors humorous, even quaint.
The unalterable and ever effective way to experience peace is forgiveness. Your relatives are simply doing what they have been taught to do over lifetimes of their predecessors. Perhaps they have never questions these tactics. A wise, grounded person steps away from others’ judgments and expectations and chooses instead to shower these same folks with compassion and forgiveness. You are literally doing what masters have suggested for eons. Forgive them for they know not what they do. In other words, they don’t understand that they hurt themselves more than they hurt anyone else. They have wounds that do not allow such introspection.
Rather than keeping yourself stressed, be radical and decide to be grateful for their presence in your life as it offers an opportunity for growth. This is like the Buddhist monk who, when informed that he would be dealing with a very difficult teacher, said, “Oh good; I can practice!” True, life is nothing if not practice. Each time you let go of struggle and anxiety, you grow a bit stronger and wiser. So, yes, holidays are for practice.
There is also a bonus likelihood that you will see dramatic changes in your relatives as you instruct them with your own persona. But if they don't choose to modify, and they continue their conflicting, intrusive ways, release your need to convert them. Love them warts and all.
Your work is YOU anyway. As you embrace peace, you increase the odds of others doing the same. It is all a matter of choice.
If accepting people for who they choose to be is too much, then find another way to enjoy the holidays. The point is nothing they do has anything to do with you. Each person is expressing his own level of development. The quicker you come to terms with it, the faster you grow and transform – the caterpillar becomes the butterfly!!! Have fun!!
Jean Walters is a St. Louis Transformational Coach specializing in empowerment. Her books: Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! and Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! are available on Amazon.com - you can reach her through her website: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com
Monday, September 11, 2017
Empowerment Rule #1
The saying goes, “God does not make junk.” In other words, you are valuable. Remind yourself daily. Talk to yourself out loud and affirm your value.
As a child, Academy Award-winning filmmaker Brian Grazer was informed that he was not a good student. This occurred at a time before learning disorders were diagnosed. He was programmed with the idea that he was not smart. His report cards reinforced this as well. His saving grace was his grandmother, who readily reminded him that he was special.
The 2007 Entertainment Weekly’s “The 50 Smartest People in Hollywood” listed Glazer as Number 11. So much for not being smart! Also in 2007, Grazer was chosen by Time Magazine as one of the 100 Most influential People in the World.
Brian Glazer credits his success to curiosity. Throughout his life, he turned his insatiable curiosity to connecting with people and learning their stories. These stories inspired his award-winning movies and television shows.
He comments, “I like learning stuff. The more information you can get about a person or a subject, the more you can pour into a potential project. I made a decision to do different things, I want to do things that have a better chance of being thought of as original. I do everything I can to disrupt my comfort zone.”
Glazer outlined his use of curiosity in his book, A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life. Glazer has made movies and television programs for more than twenty-five years. Over his career, his movies and television shows have been nominated for a total of fifty-two Oscars and ninety-four Emmys. His movies have generated more than $13.5 billion in worldwide theatrical, musical, and video grosses.
Consequently, if you start doubting your worth, remember Brian Glazer. He did not let his teacher’s opinion define him. Glazer admittedly loves challenging himself and the results are tangible.
What you focus on increases. Therefore, focus on your worth and it will
increase.
Decide what makes sense for you and do it! Fulfill your curiosity. What others think reflects on them and not you. Choose self-empowerment by following your own soul urgings.
This blog was taken from the book: Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others Have and You Can too! (Available on Amazon.com or go to www.jeanwalters.com to order.) Also, Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! also available on Amazon.com
Good luck and many blessings! Jean Walters
Compassion is love in action
Compassion
Compassion is key. That is the lesson now...compassion with everyone. You are in a process. We pass through different phases as we grow and you are to learn how to work with each phase. To be unattached from negative energy is necessary. Negative energy is attack energy and a defense against love. So you are to “see” what is happening and accept it. You can even have compassion for another’s need for drama, confusion, and distraction because that is the phase they are experiencing.
Marion and Laura were in conflict. It seemed that Laura was a wounded child and Marion, the adult. They each desired partnership but went about it in completely different ways. Laura acted out as a wounded child and when she didn’t get her way became self-destructive. (By the way, this is not an unusual reaction.) Marion picked up the pieces but withdrew a bit more with each tantrum. She wanted a partner, not a sullen child to raise.
Then a miracle happened, Laura was in a car accident and the dynamic and energy between the two changed. Laura was paralyzed and Marion became the caregiver and they aligned in mutual purpose. Laura rose in adult interaction and finally there was partnership.
Then each moved to a new state of mind. Laura’s needs are still the focus (she is physically disabled), but that is okay because she has matured and provided Marion with a thoughtful companion. Marion does not need much – just a partner to share her life and adult communication. She is spiritually focused and self-replenishing for the most part.
Laura, having been the wounded child (not nurtured as a child), was loved by Marion who provided safety and compassion. Laura never had that. Thus they grew together. Marion stood up to help and Laura lifted herself to receive and both rose in love.
People are trapped by different things…. beliefs to be sure – guilt, obligation, fear, anger, shame, self-blame and sabotage. They react from these self-made prisons. They internalize events and become wounded and frail. Partnership is off the table as long as one is imprisoned in self-blame and denial. There cannot be equanimity because wounds take up so much time and attention.
Marion and Laura are great examples. Even though there are physical limitations, there is spiritual healing. The one who was spiritually centered elevated in love. That made it safe for her partner to heal her childhood wound and mature.
We are to move on, to be in the space of God (love) and allow ourselves to be led. This is the lesson. There is purpose in each interaction and event. You are guided as you keep your heart open. Listen with your soul. Let go of heaviness, judgment, blame, and unfairness. So life seems unfair – so what! Maybe it is unfair when you look at with human eyes and maybe it is totally fair, abundant and glorified when you seek a deeper meaning.
Laura and Marion each got what she wanted. It just came in a way no one would have imagined.
Check out Jean Walters' books: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! - Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! Available on Amazon.com Get her email by going go http://www.spiritualtransformation.com and clicking on the newsletter button.
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Youth Choir sets the Tone - literally!!
There she was with a busload of kids eager to sing their hearts out on their first choir tour and right in front of them at their hostel, they watched in horror as a seemingly alarming situation unfolded. A policeman appeared to be harassing an old man who was clearly confused. Marty was shocked as much by the officer and his captive as she was by the people that strode by ignoring them. Is this what police brutality looks like? Whatever was going on, it wasn’t good!
The Choir kids were frightened. Here they were in Washington DC on their first tour stop and crazy things were happening. Marty had to take control quick. “Children, this is when we use our voices for power. Let’s sing Happy.” Marty led the way as the Spreading the Love Youth Choir piled off the bus and broke into a rousing rendition of Happy. “Happy, happy, happy!!!“ And the mood changed immediately. Pharrell Williams would have popped his buttons with pride. It was a beautiful sight!!
Within seconds the entire environment lightened. The policeman dropped his hold on the “fugitive” and they both relaxed into the rhythm of the song. And, just like that everything adjusted and corrected and the world was made a brighter place.
Afterward, the police officer approached the group and said, “That was nice. I just found this man who had gotten lost. I need to get him back home.” He knew that Marty and her kids were keeping an eye on him to make sure he was being kind. He enjoyed that.
Later, Marty K Casey, the founder and artistic director of the Spreading the Love Youth Choir from Saint Louis, Missouri found a note the policeman left behind thanking her for helping to “keep the police accountable.”
So what Marty and her kids perceived as a dire situation was actually an officer doing his duty and helping a confused, lost man. So, what is the lesson, you say? It is about perception. What appears to be negative may be positive and vice versa. It is easy to misperceive. Be sure and check before you judge!
Of course, the other lesson is to use your voice for power. You can walk right past a scary situation or lend your voice to make things better. In other words, bring love to challenge and everything transforms. Yes, we all have the power to make a difference.
Jean Walters' books are available on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! and Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! Also, if you are interested in dreams - Dreams and the Symbology of Life, author's name: Jean Walters-Lucy ENJOY!
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Spiritual Transformation Blog: How to Disconnect from the World but not Yourself
(Tips on how to do Solitude “Right”) by Jean Walters
There are moments – we’ve all had them – when the only way to maintain sanity is to disconnect from the world. You know – the times when your head is going to blow up if the phone rings one more time; or, one more person needs something and you are tapped to take care of it; when your head is buzzing and your ears are ringing with too much to do. That is the instant when the cabin in the woods, the “sitting” tree, or the dark, quiet room calls. It would be good to heed the call.
Let’s get clear… solitude does not mean retiring to a cave to live with bats or cutting off your phone service, although those ideas might be appealing if you wait too long. The truth is that our neurology needs quiet. It is the way we recover and stay healthy. That is why hospitals tend to be quiet.
Recognizing the moment and seeking solitude are two different things. For many, the idea of pursuing alone time is scary. It requires being alone. Yikes! Most people fear being alone. They do not understand that psychically they NEED it, plus there are treasures to be found in spending time with yourself. You might find out that you are quite companionable.
We live in an over-stimulated world. Each person has three or more devices, each one ringing or chirping or, in some way, demanding a response. And when we aren’t talking or texting or reading, there are the other distractions – television, play station, youtube; you name it!
Bottom line: Your nervous system can’t take it. After a while you start twitching, shaking, and scratching because you don’t know what to do with all the crazy energy coming at you. These are signs! Take them seriously.
Take Diane, for instance. Diane is a nice, normal lady who goes off to work at a busy office where the phones are ringing all day, people are needing this and that, and there are tasks to complete and tempers to sooth and paperwork to file and lots of other stuff to do. Essentially, she is the answer person to lots of folks.
From there Diane hops in her car, picks up her kids from after school care (who are often over stimulated, tired, hungry, or cranky). She arrives home to cook dinner, water the plants, do the laundry, answer the mail, pay the bills, and spend quality time with her family, which includes helping with homework, correcting, admonishing, instructing, drying tears, and kissing and hugging and bed time. And who knows what else she does before collapsing in bed for a few hours to start all over the next day. But the thing Diane doesn’t do, the thing that is at the very bottom of her “to-do” list, is to give herself quality time by herself to read a book, take a walk, meditate, or just sit and stare. So, you get the point. Diane NEEDS QUIET TIME and so do you! (Are you Diane?)
We think that being focused in the material world with all its noise and chaos is the place to be. “I am bored. I need noise, distraction, and stimulus.” But that is not true.
The constantly stimulated mind becomes agitated. When your focus is always out there where drama after drama unfolds, the only way to find balance is to turn everything off and focus within to the stillness (more on that later). The idea of leaving the world, even for an hour, frightens the ego as it craves drama. Hence, all the police and political dramas on television these days.
Thus you develop fear of aloneness. Here are the ego messages they keep you uptight. See if you recognize any of them. “What is wrong with you – you are alone. You must be unloved and unloveable. This proves that no one wants to be with you. You are a loser.” These are reasons people avoid solitude.
This ego babble is how you are convinced that being alone is dangerous. Yes, you might miss something and it will probably be a nervous breakdown.
The issue is that we have constructed an identity – a false one – that is dependent on the material world. It starts with your name, then your circumstances. You call yourself a male or female, an American, Indian, European or South Sea Islander, or some locational signature.
You also identity all sorts of material conditioning such as tall/short, blonde, grey, or redheaded and various religious ethnicities – Hindu, Jew, Muslim, to name a few. These are external distinctions and designed to fool you in believing that this physical being is who you are. The whole identity fiasco will run you until you go deeper into your psyche and gift yourself the adventure of aloneness.
The first inclination when spending time alone is to get busy. Do something. Why? Because you don’t now how to be with yourself and you are running from the unknown. Do something quick; don’t just be. Wash windows, clean something, sort papers, make phone calls. The mind is indoctrinated with busyness, and freaks out when asked to be still. It can even become depressed…. “You are useless, a bum, lazy, good for nothing, blah, blah, blah.” These are fear thoughts that are conjured from old programs planted in your subconscious mind from long ago. They relate to some past identity you have taken on that now rules you.
As you calm down and get grounded, you will get pass the ego and all its lies. Now it is time to enter the natural world. Nature is still and rhythmic and primarily peaceful. Go into nature as Jesus or Buddha went to the mountain, the desert, or the Bodhi tree. Go where there is emptiness. That is how you can release stress and noise and rest your mind. Stay for an hour or linger longer. Stay until your mind quiets and then stay longer. Remain until your body relaxes and begins to breathe and then stay even longer. Now you are beginning to experience your inner world. It is in rhythm with nature.
In our Western world achieving stillness is monumental. Not so much in Eastern countries where silence is cultivated. Just grant yourself permission and put solitude on your calendar. In time you will get the hang of it and it will nourish you. Even heal you. Remain in solitude until you have forgotten all the roles you play and the ways you clothe yourself with identity. Stay until you become empty. This is peace.
Loneliness is not the same as solitude or aloneness. Loneliness is always questing after something. It is painful and demoralizing. It is the feeling of never being or having enough.
When you cultivate aloneness, you are at peace. It is like dropping all the makings of the world and listening deeply. There is something that would speak to you. Have you created the inner space for it? Have you opened your heart to receive it?
Take time to practice. It will put everything in perspective because when you are alone, nothing else exists. It is like the contentment of the womb. Everything is provided and you are safe and nourished. No wonder babies cry when they leave the peace of the womb. They are essentially leaving the Garden of Eden, where there is love and no stress.
As you get stronger, the craziness of the world dissolves and what remains is YOU – vast and still like the forest at dusk or a clear, calm mountain lake. As Socrates said, “Know thyself.”
Jean Walters books can be found on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! - Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others Have and You can too! and Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy Jean@spiritualtransformation.com
Spiritual Transformation Blog: Compassion
Compassion is key. That is the lesson now...compassion with everyone. You are in a process. We pass through different phases as we grow and you are to learn how to work with each phase. To be unattached from negative energy is necessary. Negative energy is attack energy and a defense against love. So you are to “see” what is happening and accept it. You can even have compassion for another’s need for drama, confusion, and distraction because that is the phase they are experiencing.
Marion and Laura were in conflict. It seemed that Laura was a wounded child and Marion, the adult. They each desired partnership but went about it in completely different ways. Laura acted out as a wounded child and when she didn’t get her way became self-destructive. (By the way, this is not an unusual reaction.) Marion picked up the pieces but withdrew a bit more with each tantrum. She wanted a partner, not a sullen child to raise.
Then a miracle happened, Laura was in a car accident and the dynamic and energy between the two changed. Laura was paralyzed and Marion became the caregiver and they aligned in mutual purpose. Laura rose in adult interaction and finally there was partnership.
Then each moved to a new state of mind. Laura’s needs are still the focus (she is physically disabled), but that is okay because she has matured and provided Marion with a thoughtful companion. Marion does not need much – just a partner to share her life and adult communication. She is spiritually focused and self-replenishing for the most part.
Laura, having been the wounded child (not nurtured as a child), was loved by Marion who provided safety and compassion. Laura never had that. Thus they grew together. Marion stood up to help and Laura lifted herself to receive and both rose in love.
People are trapped by different things…. beliefs to be sure – guilt, obligation, fear, anger, shame, self-blame and sabotage. They react from these self-made prisons. They internalize events and become wounded and frail. Partnership is off the table as long as one is imprisoned in self-blame and denial. There cannot be equanimity because wounds take up so much time and attention.
Marion and Laura are great examples. Even though there are physical limitations, there is spiritual healing. The one who was spiritually centered elevated in love. That made it safe for her partner to heal her childhood wound and mature.
We are to move on, to be in the space of God (love) and allow ourselves to be led. This is the lesson. There is purpose in each interaction and event. You are guided as you keep your heart open. Listen with your soul. Let go of heaviness, judgment, blame, and unfairness. So life seems unfair – so what! Maybe it is unfair when you look at with human eyes and maybe it is totally fair, abundant and glorified when you seek a deeper meaning.
Laura and Marion each got what she wanted. It just came in a way no one would have imagined.
____________________________
Would you like to have a deeper understanding of Biblical teachings regarding love, healing, how to claim your inheritance as a child of God?
All of this is available in the book: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! by Jean Walters
· Symbolism in the Bible & other holy books
· The supremacy, power and potential of love as the energy of change
· What are your demons (fears)? How to release them.
· Tools to free yourself
· Personal Transformation and claiming your inheritance
You can order through Amazon.com; rdreedpublishers; and my website: spiritualtransformation.com
Questions: Jean Walters 314 991 8439 office / 314 566 5231 cell jean@spiritualtransformation.com
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Monday, August 7, 2017
Stay Calm, no matter what
Managing Emotions for Peace of Mind
There is a story about a rider and horse that came galloping rapidly down the road. It seemed as though the rider had somewhere important to go.
Another fellow, standing on the roadside, shouted, “Where are you going?”
The man on the horse answered, “I don’t know. Ask the horse.”
The horse symbolizes our habitual energy. The story depicts how we usually live at the mercy of old habitual energies that have been established by our surroundings and mindlessness, but not by conscious intention. Thus, our horse, our habits pull us along, making us run here and there without even knowing why. If you stop and ask yourself, “Why am I running around so much?”, you might have an answer, but it is never a good one. You are just used to it. That is how all of us have been taught to live.
If you ask people why they are a Lutheran, a Baptist, a Pentecostal, a Presbyterian, a Democrat, a Republican, a blue-color worker, a business owner, a horseback rider, a poker player, or anything else, much of the time the answer will be because their parents were or because they were raised that way. In other words, they don’t have a good reason. They are simply following the habits of their upbringing. As much as they gallop here or there, proclaiming this or that, it gets them nowhere.
You need to take the reins and let the horse know who is in charge. You are the boss. You have always been the boss. So, start acting like it.
This story is also a metaphor for the way we let our emotions run away from us. We have established habits of reacting to things without clear, focused intention. To be the boss, we have to govern, not suppress our emotions. We have to calculate when and how we react. To do this, we must discover the bigger picture of emotional management.
Our thoughts are electrically charged and our feelings are magnetically charged. Our brains evolved biologically from the past and are rigidly programmed with tribal beliefs and memories. Consequently, our emotional reactions are also programmed from past orientation. We tend to repeat the same circumstances over and over because they are the ones imprinted in our psyche.
If you want to expand your present and future, you must change the pictures in your mind. If, for instance, you would like to be rewarded more abundantly at work but relate to an old image of low wages and being passed over for promotion, you would have to create an impassioned, deeply felt new mental movie of being applauded at work and abundantly rewarded. You would have to feel jubilation when you receive your paycheck and internally experience the pride of promotion. You would have to feel yourself smiling, joyously dancing in celebration.
This new magnetic-feeling energy would have to be repeated until you have replaced the old images of lack and discouragement. As you go through this mental movie, you are altering your neurology and, as your neurology adjusts, your body functions better. Overall, your health improves. The body was made to operate in high energy, in joy. Notice that babies are happy until taught otherwise. The happier you become, the better you feel.
An interesting fact is that the mind and body do not know the difference between a real and an imagined experience. So, as you live in this new movie/broadcast of great reward and abundance, your mind, body, and neurological system accept it as real. The more you enter and feel the movie, the closer you identify with these new circumstances, and you will, ultimately, see the manifested results in your life as opportunities show up to fulfill your desires.
Many people won’t imagine a new life because they are afraid. They are so used to living a certain way, even though it is not a happy existence. They are intimidated with newness and will not venture into the unknown to create something new, even though they really want it. It does take courage to gamble on a new way or to travel a new path. Sometimes, the situation has to be so bad that a resistant person finally gives in and tries a new way. That is the painful approach.
Changing Your Emotional Identification
People tend to identify themselves by their emotions. Angry people have a hard time believing they can be peaceful. Depressed people identify with sadness and spend little or no time remembering happy moments. Instead, they take pills to adjust their neurology. Consequently, the same repeated memories keep them trapped. To shift to a new paradigm may seem daunting, but it can be done and is done all the time.
It starts with training. What are you willing to dream? Can you dream a new reality and become impassioned by it?
Just as I described doing the candle concentration exercise to develop strong concentration skills in the beginning of this book, you can do an identical process to adjust your emotional, magnetic resonance. You hold your attention on what you want and feel it. You keep your mind focused and, in so doing, lay down the tracks for future life experiences. This practice has to be repeated until it becomes your natural, default way of thinking. You are creating new neural pathways. It is the same as pulling up weeds. To keep that space clean, you consistently plant new seeds. The seeds eventually take hold, and you become a new person with a new reality.
Jean Walters' books are available on Amazon.com - Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too - live your bliss. AND Dreams and the Symbology of Life by Jean Walters-Lucy You can find her at http://www.spiritualtransformation.com
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Sweet story about a Heroic Dad
This story is about a heroic dad who “heals” his six-year-old daughter’s beloved stuffed doggie, Toto. This dad knows how to listen and act with compassion.
Toto was a small white dog with a red tongue and stuffing of the same color – red. When his seams began to split beneath his knitted collar, it appeared that Toto was bleeding. To a six-year-old, Toto was in grave danger. She went crying to her dad, who happened to be a physician. Dad, Toto is dying. Can you heal him?
Dad inspected Toto’s wound and assured his daughter that he will be able to help Toto. That night dad wrapped Toto in a blanket and left for his shift in the emergency room at the hospital where he was the doctor on duty. The next day, he brought Toto home with a big bandage on his neck. He showed his daughter the x-rays and Polaroid photographs of the surgery and surgical team. Beneath the bandage on Toto’s neck was a clean row of stitches.
To this day, the daughter, now grown, has saved the polaroid photos and injury report on her beloved Toto. And in her mind, dad is a hero.
Perhaps it is the simple things we do that make us heroes.
Books by Jean Walters: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! and
Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! Available on Amazon.com - search for author's name
Also: Dreams and the Symbology of Life - by Jean Walters-Lucy Also available on Amazon.com - search for Jean Walters-Lucy
website - http://www.spiritualtransformation.com
Big solar eclipse to present on August 21st
There is lots of excitement these days about the solar eclipse coming up on August 21st This blog is to enlighten (sorry) you as to what to expect. We, in the Midwest, are particularly lucky as we are right in the line of being able to observe the eclipse for a long period of time – depending on where you are located it could be 2:36 to :44 minutes in length. Definitely be prepared with the right equipment so you don’t damage your eyes.
The physical element is simply that the moon will move in front of the sun and block out the sun. You will notice a beautiful corona if you are able to look at the event. Nearly one billion people live in the path of the Great American Eclipse, but only 12 U. S. states will get to see the total solar eclipse.
If you think of the sun as the center of our solar system and even consider it symbolically – the center of our being or God – this event will carry great significance. Be sure to pay attention to your emotional reactions during the event. You could cry or feel elated, or depressed, or who knows?? Perhaps a great epiphany!
It is also good to know that a solar eclipse happens once every 500 years. Thus the next one will be in 2505. Wow! We probably won’t be around for that one. :-)
Astrologically, eclipses signal change and since this is a big one – solar eclipse – it will probably suggest a big change for each of us. Pay attention to what in your life needs to change. Have you hesitated on bringing that change about? Is it time to take action? No doubt there will be a situation that will surprise you as well. Maybe a raise in pay, or a new friend shows up, or your child lands a scholarship he wasn’t expecting, or you find just the right house to purchase???
Point being – stay open and keep your mind focused on the positive. The Universe is always generous in offering grandiose blessings. Just pay attention and you will recognize what is being gifted to you.
I will be outside checking it out. If you want to know the exact moment the eclipse will occur in your location, be sure to google it or listen to the news. ENJOY!
Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to live! and Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! (find your passion) books are available on Amazon.com - Google author: Jean Walters http://www.spiritualtransformation.com
Monday, July 10, 2017
What to do when squeezed by life
Psychologist, Wayne Dyer used a metaphor to describe what happens when a person is squeezed as in stressful situations – being caught in traffic, a fight with a friend or spouse, not getting the raise, overwhelmed at work. His illustration was that when you squeeze a lemon what comes out of it is lemon juice. The reason for that is simple – what is inside the lemon is lemon juice. By the same token, when you are squeezed by life – experience stress what comes out of you? Anger, hate, compassion, empathy, patience, love?
The spiritual teacher, Osho, states the precept a bit differently. He says we can build an appearance of morality, culture, kindness, and following the rules of our tribe or religion, but when faced with challenge, such as being insulted, the façade disappears and what comes forth is the hidden anger or animalistic tendencies. In other words, you can become a volcano concentrated only on violence, revenge, and getting even.
Once the threat goes away, the animal nature submerges into its underground cave and the belief is that I am calm and will never be angry, greedy, jealous, hateful again. What you have really done is constructed an illusory self. Your hidden egoic, animalistic self awaits the next confrontation. Who you are when under stress is who you have constructed yourself to be without the façade of good manners and appropriateness.
What is to be done, you ask? Creating an illusory self is easy. We were taught to do that as children. Be respectful to elders; have manners; say please and thank you, restrain yourself.
To go beyond the ego and shape, educate, and cultivate your real self is a lot of work. It can be arduous, but well worth the effort.
To do so you must face your ego, reactionary self, or your wound/ inner pain. That means when you find yourself reacting with negative emotion, stop, wait, breathe and ask yourself what you are feeling and what is the purpose? This stopping gives you a moment to relax into your true self, or compassionate self. The person that requires compassion at that moment is YOU.
The pain your animal nature reacts to is illusory. Someone’s insult relates to him and not you. Taking a moment can bring you back to center to realize this truth. You are a being centered in love. The person in front of you is operating out of pain. This has nothing to do with you.
There are many people occupying the earth with wounds from the past – situations they have taken personally and have erroneously believed have some bearing on their own sense of self.
Developing “victim” mentality is a given in our world as we are continually confronted with stories of people who have lost some battle, got the short end of the stick, live in sorry conditions, have had a rough life. We buy into these stories, become indignant, and place our attention on helplessness rather than empowerment. We can shift our attention to responsibility, self-empowerment and love whenever we wish. This is a basic change that must be made to develop self-honesty and remain centered.
Once you have created a calm self with real energy it cannot be shattered. Emotion can be transformed to love by facing the fear that presents itself as anger, jealousy, guilt, shame. We face it and reeducate ourselves.
You cannot stop doing something, but you can start doing something else. It is akin to the metaphor used in the Bible when Jesus instructs that if you pull weeds from a plot of ground, but do not plant something else in their place, the weeds will return bigger and stronger than ever. We must plant new ideas, beliefs, and understandings that relate to love instead of fear.
It is about training, not suppressing. Our animal nature rules until we rise to the higher energy of love. When confronted with difficulty, the Buddhist monk replies, “Good, this will allow me to practice.” He uses these moments to practice his techniques for centering – staying in his true self of love and compassion. We have the same possibility. Life is constantly offering opportunities to grow.
Growth is not about burying your true nature of love while you meet the world with a glossed over personality displaying propriety but not compassion. It is about bringing forth the love you have inside and living from it. Our true nature is love. Love is of the soul. Anger is the animal self or ego. At any time we can choose love.
This blog is an excerpt from my book: The Keys to the Kingdom: Techniques to achieve Self Mastery - books available on http://www.spiritualtransformation.com or http://jeanwalters.com
Monday, July 3, 2017
Here is an Empowerment Rule to Live by!!!
The saying goes, “God does not make junk.” In other words, you are valuable. Remind yourself daily. Talk to yourself out loud and affirm your value.
As a child, Academy Award-winning filmmaker Brian Grazer was informed that he was not a good student. This occurred at a time before learning disorders were diagnosed. He was programmed with the idea that he was not smart. His report cards reinforced this as well. His saving grace was his grandmother, who readily reminded him that he was special.
The 2007 Entertainment Weekly’s “The 50 Smartest People in Hollywood” listed Glazer as Number 11. So much for not being smart! Also in 2007, Grazer was chosen by Time Magazine as one of the 100 Most influential People in the World.
Brian Glazer credits his success to curiosity. Throughout his life, he turned his insatiable curiosity to connecting with people and learning their stories. These stories inspired his award-winning movies and television shows.
He comments, “I like learning stuff. The more information you can get about a person or a subject, the more you can pour into a potential project. I made a decision to do different things, I want to do things that have a better chance of being thought of as original. I do everything I can to disrupt my comfort zone.”
Glazer outlined his use of curiosity in his book, A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life. Glazer has made movies and television programs for more than twenty-five years. Over his career, his movies and television shows have been nominated for a total of fifty-two Oscars and ninety-four Emmys. His movies have generated more than $13.5 billion in worldwide theatrical, musical, and video grosses.
Consequently, if you start doubting your worth, remember Brian Glazer. He did not let his teacher’s opinion define him. Glazer admittedly loves challenging himself and the results are tangible.
What you focus on increases. Therefore, focus on your worth and it will
increase.
Decide what makes sense for you and do it! Fulfill your curiosity. What others think reflects on them and not you. Choose self-empowerment by following your own soul urgings.
This blog was taken from the book: Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others Have and You Can too! (Available on Amazon.com or go to www.jeanwalters.com to order.)
Services offered by Jean Walters: Transformational Coaching, Akashic Readings, Spiritual and Personal Growth Classes, and Inspirational books. All available at: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com 314 991 8439
Challenges Bring Out Inventiveness
There were two birds flying over the desert – a hummingbird and a vulture. The hummingbird delighted in a beautiful cactus flower; the vulture scowled pleasurably as he located a carcass. Each found what he was seeking.
We are like these birds; we always find what we seek. It can be a beautiful, fresh opportunity to express creatively and expand our talents, or we can focus on the past, lamenting what was and convince ourselves that our chances for happiness are gone. Getting stuck in old ways (carcasses) makes it hard to see present possibilities.
Challenges bring out inventiveness in people. Often, when faced with a new opportunity, a kind of paralysis (born of fear) sets in. You realize you can’t address it the tried and true way of the past because a new challenge requires you to stretch the mind and imagination to meet it. But once you’ve accepted the opportunity, you can exercise individuality and creativity. Look at your situation and ask yourself how you can use it to your advantage, grow with it, find something good in it.
Often we feel desolate when confronted with a new experience such as divorce, being between jobs, recovering from an illness, experiencing a death. Don’t let this limbo period get you down. Free your imagination to perceive the waiting opportunity. Do this by relaxing your mind, accepting your temporary helpless state and choosing to enjoy rather than complain.
If you reckon only with the way things used to be or they way they’re “supposed” to be, you limit yourself. This is a vulture attitude dwelling in the past, feeding on death. You can be the optimistic humming bird delighting in a beautiful new opportunity (way, idea), daring to do things differently.
What do you want, and for what are you looking? Keep yourself open to possibilities for expansion, new ways of doing things. Make sure you are not limiting yourself with vulture attitudes, tying you to old way. Every moment provides challenge. Are you using it to your advantage? Are you finding what you want?
To learn more about Jean Walters' services and books, go to http://www.spiritualtransformation or www.jeanwalters.com
Transformational coaching, Akashic Readings, Personal and Spiritual Growth Classes, and Inspirational Books 314 991 8439
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
What are the Three Parts of Your Mind?
Blog: The Decision Maker, the Critic & the Observer
The mind is our power source. Spirit channels into the mind and we use this energy to think, motivate, and accomplish. Therefore to develop mastery we must understand the way the mind works. In this way you get to embrace the daily choices you face that will determine the quality of your experience.
The Course in Miracles described three parts to the mind – the decision maker, and the critic and the performer. In this chapter we will deal with the critic and the performer. Others names for these parts of the mind are the ego and the True Self or the Contrived Self and the Real Self. As you might recognize, one is negative and the other positive.
The critic inputs judgments, opinions, and comments. It operates on the mental level. It plants doubt and it is disempowering. We might even call it the devil or deceiver. If your inner dialogue sounds like this, You can’t do that; who do you think you are; you don’t have the right education, contacts, skill, or perseverance. You will never amount to anything, then you know the critic well.
Everyone has an inner critic. It will not help you achieve anything worthwhile. It is up to you to recognize it and decide how to deal with it /or simply ignore it. Beyond the critic, on a deeper spiritual level, is the performer. The performer takes action, know you can do what you set out to do, doesn’t analyze the problem forever, and keeps moving.
An example of a performer would be the little boy who wants to learn to ride his bike. He jumps on it with a determined mind and attempts to ride it and he falls off. Then he tries riding it another way. He keeps at his quest until he eventually works it out and becomes a great bike rider. He has no concern for the number of times he falls off because his goal is to ride the bike and through all his trials and errors he ultimately finds a way to do it. The same would be true of hitting a baseball, setting up a computer program, painting a room, learning how to bake a cake - in fact, anything.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is an example of a performer. He came from humble beginnings growing up near Graz, Austria. His family had no electricity or running water, so he and his brother would walk for miles carrying water to their home so that they could bath, clean, and cook. Schwarzenegger did not consider this a detriment or problem but a situation to be dealt with. He did not see himself as underprivileged. He kept moving.
As a child, he saw a movie with cowboys and decided that he was going to be a cowboy/movie actor in the United States. He fulfilled his version of that dream by becoming the youngest world famous body builder, Mr. Universe. From there he followed the opportunities and eventually moved to the United States, trained celebrities, built a real estate portfolio, and ultimately got his chance to act in movies. This is not a small accomplishment when you consider he did not even know the language when he arrives in the U.S. But that is not all, because from movie stardom he went on to become the governor of California.
In other words, Arnold Schwarzenegger set his sights and then went into action. He is the personification of the performer.
When it came time to write his autobiography, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story, Schwarzenegger, had a hard time remembering the timelines and particulars of his life. He had to call upon others who kept photographs and notes. Remembering these details was difficult because Schwarzenegger kept his focus forward. With each step along his path, he concentrated on where he was and where he was going.
It is important that you get to know these two parts of your mind. Awareness demands it. Many people get stuck in the critic and make their lives miserable. Nothing is right, everything is cruelly judged, and they maintain focus on the “wrongs” of the world. Yet at any moment you can make another choice.
Step back; take note of your situation, and decide what action is needed. This is the decision maker. performer. Learning to ascertain fact versus the dramatic conclusions of the critic is imperative if you are to achieve mastery. You are always the decision maker.
It is important that you recognize your susceptibility to negativity. Often it shows up as other people, perhaps even your family. Negativity is toxic. You must identify it and counter act it. Whether the negativity is yours or others, you have the ability to protect yourself and move beyond it.
There are many people who exist as lazy, indifferent and willing to accept all suggestions that harmonize with their own weakness. It gives them an excuse to stay weak. So attention is warranted.
Will power is the ability to use your will to make decisions. You must make decisions in life. What direction do you choose to go? By developing habits that maintain positivity, you are deliberate in building inner strength (like Schwarzenegger and others) and keep yourself from caving in to the critic.
The most common weakness is the habit of leaving your mind open to the negative influence of others and that includes the broadcast news. If you become unconscious of this tendency, you are cursed to work harder to achieve your goals.
The idea is to spot negativity and close off to it immediately. You want to live in high vibrancy, not low, depressed energy. You are not a lazy person. This is the work that must be done to master your mind and operate as the decision maker. It is your life. Make the best of it.
Ask yourself, what do I know for sure in this situation, about this person? What am I making up, reacting to, or assuming? Don’t decide what to do until you have sorted fact from fiction or illusion. When you are caught up in the critic, you can draw conclusions based on your past – who does this person reminds you of, what is my issue? Am I experiencing jealousy, or competition? None of these deductions will be accurate.
The performer has clarity about what he wants and where he is going. When he spots an obstacle he begins to calculate his options. What will it take to blast through it, climb over it, side step it, or reduce it to rubble? When you decide your course of action, there will always be a way to accomplish it.
This blog was taken from the book:
The Keys to the Kingdom: Techniques to Achieve Self Mastery
by Jean Walters to be published in 2017
Jean@spiritualtranformation.com
website: spiritualtransformation.com
Twitter.com/LightandJoy
facebook.com/jeanmwalters1
Books available on Amazon.com and spiritualtransformation.com
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Perfectionism, Defeat, Success, Failure - You Decide!
If failure is a lack of perfection, then Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Choose the Life You Want, indicates you can learn just as much, if not more, from failure as from success.
Walter Russell, in The Man WhoTapped the secrets of the Universe, acknowledged, I have had my share of what one calls defeat, in plenty. I have made and lost fortunes and seen great plans of mine topple through my own errors of judgment or through other causes… But I do not recognize these as defeats. They are but interesting experiences of life. They are valuable stepping-stones to success.
Defeat is a condition one must accept in order to give it reality. I refuse to give it reality by accepting it. In my philosophy I have written these words: Defeat I shall not know. It shall not touch me. I will meet it with true thinking. Resisting it will be my strengthening. But if, perchance, they will give to me the bitter cup, it will sweeten in the drinking.
Along those same lines, there isn't any situation that couldn't be changed for the better. How? By changing yourself. The key is to accept yourself for all your talents and flaws. Resolve to mine the peace within no matter what the material world appears to reflect.
By plaguing yourself with perfectionist goals, you strive for the unattainable. Frustration is born out of reaching for something that doesn't exist. The seeker, profusely aware of falling short of his goal, develops critical, self-defacing attitudes. This inner critic keeps genius from coming out.
There is something to be said for making mistakes and even failing. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team. His failure to make the team created irritation that drove him to persevere, work through his frustration and realize his genius on the basketball court. He wasn’t going for perfection, but performance.
Your perfectionist is your critic and will continually come up with judgments, comments, and opinions. In order to perform, you have to overcome the critic. Example: the little boy who wants to learn to ride his bike will jump on it. In attempting to ride, he loses his balance and falls off. Then he rides it another way. Eventually he finds a way to ride the bike and in so doing his performer self comes out.
The perfectionist (critic) is disempowering. Your genius self comes out when you continually improve your performance without worrying about perfection. It could be that what you really want is to do your best. Each time you unconditionally give your best effort, you add to your ultimate performance and your situation just like Michael Jordan and Gerard. Give your effort for self-gratification and fulfillment, not to impress or please anyone else. Personal acceptance and appreciation for your exertion is a sign of maturity and an indication that you've given your best.
There is a difference between having to create perfect results and having high standards. A person with high standards gives his best and learns from the result. His aim is to continually improve his skills. Conversely, a perfectionist expects every effort to be indisputable, without flaw. His ego, rides with each outcome and is crushed when criticized.
Seek a healthier perspective. Babies learn to walk over time. We don’t expect them to get up once and walk perfectly. We understand that walking is a process that includes various factors such as balance and strength. Patiently, we applaud each effort the baby makes. With encouragement, they tenaciously try again and again, until they have mastered walking. We are similar. Each time we venture into new territory or attempt yet another learning experience, we are as fresh and innocent as a baby. Endeavor to express patience and gentleness in this growth process.
This blog is excerpted from Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible Others Have and You Can Too! by Jean Walters available on Amazon.com
Other books by Jean Walters: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! - Amazon.com
Dreams and the Symbology of Life - by Jean Walters-Lucy - available on Amazon.com
Thursday, May 4, 2017
What to do When Life Squeezes YOU
This article is taken from The Keys to the Kingdom: Techniques to Achieve Self Mastery by Jean Walters
Psychologist, Wayne Dyer used a metaphor to describe what happens when a person is squeezed as in stressful situations – being caught in traffic, a fight with a friend or spouse, not getting the raise, overwhelmed at work. His illustration was that when you squeeze a lemon what comes out of it is lemon juice. The reason for that is simple – what is inside the lemon is lemon juice. By the same token, when you are squeezed by life – experience stress what comes out of you? Anger, hate, compassion, empathy, patience, love?
The spiritual teacher, Osho, states the precept a bit differently. He says we can build an appearance of morality, culture, kindness, and following the rules of our tribe or religion, but when faced with challenge, such as being insulted, the façade disappears and what comes forth is the hidden anger or animalistic tendencies. In other words, you can become a volcano concentrated only on violence, revenge, and getting even.
Once the threat goes away, the animal nature submerges into its underground cave and the belief is that I am calm and will never be angry, greedy, jealous, hateful again. What you have really done is constructed an illusory self. Your hidden egoic, animalistic self awaits the next confrontation. Who you are when under stress is who you have constructed yourself to be without the façade of good manners and appropriateness.
What is to be done, you ask? Creating an illusory self is easy. We were taught to do that as children. Be respectful to elders; have manners; say please and thank you, restrain yourself.
To go beyond the ego and shape, educate, and cultivate your real self is a lot of work. It can be arduous, but well worth the effort. To do so you must face your ego, reactionary self, or your wound/ inner pain. That means when you find yourself reacting with negative emotion, stop, wait, breathe and ask yourself what you are feeling and what is the purpose? This stopping gives you a moment to relax into your true self, or compassionate self. The person that requires compassion at that moment is YOU. The pain your animal nature reacts to is illusory. Someone’s insult relates to him and not you. Taking a moment can bring you back to center to realize this truth. You are a being centered in love. The person in front of you is operating out of pain. This has nothing to do with you.
There are many people occupying the earth with wounds from the past – situations they have taken personally and have erroneously believed have some bearing on their own sense of self.
Developing “victim” mentality is a given in our world as we are continually confronted with stories of people who have lost some battle, got the short end of the stick, live in sorry conditions, have had a rough life. We buy into these stories, become indignant, and place our attention on helplessness rather than empowerment. We can shift our attention to responsibility, self-empowerment and love whenever we wish. This is a basic change that must be made to develop self-honesty and remain centered.
Once you have created a calm self with real energy it cannot be shattered. Emotion can be transformed to love by facing the fear that presents itself as anger, jealousy, guilt, shame. We face it and reeducate ourselves.
You cannot stop doing something, but you can start doing something else. It is akin to the metaphor used in the Bible when Jesus instructs that if you pull weeds from a plot of ground, but do not plant something else in their place, the weeds will return bigger and stronger than ever. We must plant new ideas, beliefs, and understandings that relate to love instead of fear.
It is about training, not suppressing. Our animal nature rules until we rise to the higher energy of love. When confronted with difficulty, the Buddhist monk replies, “Good, this will allow me to practice.” He uses these moments to practice his techniques for centering – staying in his true self of love and compassion.
We have the same possibility. Life is constantly offering opportunities to grow. Growth is not about burying your true nature of love while you meet the world with a glossed over personality displaying propriety but not compassion. It is about bringing forth the love you have inside and living from it. Our true nature is love. Love is of the soul. Anger is the animal self or ego. At any time we can choose love.
As you train yourself to live from a higher view, it will be easy to let go of being personally affronted with comments, others’ moods, events, or anything. At that point you will grow to become undaunted by the outer world. Accruing experience is joyful. We can easily laugh at ourselves and situations that before seemed unnerving, are now humorous. That means you are at peace!
A Love Story
There was a great story in 2012 Sports Illustrated Kids Sports. The "kids of the year" was brothers Conner and Cayden Long. They were celebrated at a star-studded event in New York City. The event itself was to honor Miami Heat Star LeBron James and there were a lot of other celebrities present as well -- Jay-Z, Beyonce, and Duke coach, Mike Kryzewski. Yet the stars were shining on Conner's and Cayden's accomplishments. Here is the story:
Cayden suffers from cerebral Palsy but that is no hindrance for Conner because he includes his brother in all his sports. The two compete in triathlons together with Conner pulling Cayden behind in a raft during the swimming leg, and towing him behind his bike during the cycling portion, and pushing him during the run. These triathlons have been a great way for the brothers to come together and, at the same time, have provided inspiration to everyone that watches or hears about their interaction.
Coach K was inspired by Conner and Cayden's story and he said that they have scholarships to Duke waiting for them when they get older. LeBron said that the brothers should get ready for the private plane that is going to take them from their home in Tennessee to Miami to meet "the guys." Even Jay-Z and Beyonce wanted to shake hands with Connor and Cayden. The Long brothers illustrate the power of love. When you love someone, you don't care what state they are in, you just love them. That is the nature of love. I wish that for you!
Jean Walters is the author of: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and YOU can too! and under Jean Walters-Lucy she has - Dreams and the Symbology of Life all are available on Amazon.com and through her website: http://www.spiritualtransformation.com
How to Be Alone
Most people fear being alone. They do not understand that there is treasure to be found in aloneness. For it is only through being by yourself that you can find true bliss.
The mind is constantly stimulated, busy, agitated as you focus out there where drama after drama unfolds. So we think that being present in the material world with its noise and chaos is the place to be. “I am bored. I need noise, distraction, stimulation.
The ego cultivates fear of aloneness. Here are some ego messages. You might be familiar with them. “What is wrong with you – you are alone. You must be unloved. You are a loser.” These are reasons people avoid being by themselves.
I don’t want to miss anything.” These are messages from the ego and they convince us that being alone is dangerous. “You might miss something.” Yes, probably a nervous breakdown.
The issue is that we have constructed an identity – a false one – that is dependent on the material world. It starts with your name, then your circumstances. You call yourself a male or female, an American, Indian, European or South Sea Islander, or any other locational signature.
You also identity all sorts of material conditioning such as tall/short, blonde, grey, or redheaded and various religious ethnicities – Hindu, Jew, Muslim, to name a few. These are external distinctions and designed to fool you in believing that these tiny elements are who you are. This whole identity fiasco will rein true until you examine deeper into your psychic and gift yourself the adventure of aloneness.
The first inclination with aloneness is call it loneliness and get busy. Do something. Why? Because you want to run in fear and that is how the ego distracts you from the moment. How you are useful, industrious, a doer? Do something, don’t just be - wash windows, clean something, sort papers, make a phone call. The mind is indoctrinated into busyness, and freaks out when asked to be still. It can even become depressed…. “You are useless, a bum, lazy, good for nothing.” These are fear thoughts and they are conjured from old programs planted in your subconscious mind. They all relate to some identity you have taken on in your past they now rule you.
If you get past that phase, the next one will be to offer yourself to nature. The natural world is still and rhythmic and primarily peaceful. Go into nature as Jesus went to the mountain or the desert, where there is emptiness. There you can release the stress of your material life and all that goes with it. Don’t stay for an hour - linger longer. Stay in the natural world until your mind quiets and then stay longer. Remain until your body relaxes and begins to breathe and then stay longer. Be still. You are beginning to experience your inner world. It is in rhythm with nature.
In the Western world this stillness is a monumental accomplishment. Not so much in Eastern countries where silence is cultivated. Just grant yourself permission. In time you will get the hang of it and it will nourish you. Perhaps heal you. Stay in the stillness for three days or a week – maybe three months. Remain until you have forgotten all the roles you play and the ways you clothe yourself with identity. Stay until you become nothing – just quiet emptiness.
From this point, you can move into deeper quiet. Let the mind drift into feeling – deep feeling. Feel your breath. Notice its texture, temperature and rhythm. Feel your body organs function, and feel your spirit. Let it expand so that you are able to move beyond your physical self and feel the space you occupy and then all space. Your mind will begin to change texture as you do this. It becomes softer, lighter. Stay there. No judgment, no anything, just beingness. You know the saying, “Be still and now that I am God.”
Loneliness is not the same as aloneness. Loneliness is always questing after something. It is painful and demoralizing. It is the ego never being or having enough.
When you cultivate aloneness, you are at peace. It is like dropping all the makings of the world and listening deeply. There is something that would speak to you. Have you created the inner space for it? Have you opened your heart with wonton desire to receive it? Be still and know that I am God. Be still – be still.
Take time to practice aloneness. It will put everything in perspective because when you are alone, nothing else exists. It is like the contentment of being in the womb. Everything is provided and you are safe and nourished. No wonder babies cry when they leave the peace of the womb. They are essentially leaving the Garden of Eden, where there is love and no stress.
As you get stronger, the craziness of the material world dissolves and what remains is YOU – vast and still like the forest at dusk or a clear, calm mountain lake. Be still and you will know yourself. That is mastery.
Jean Walters is author of: Set Yourself Free: Live the Life YOU were meant to Live! Be Outrageous: Do the Impossible - Others have and you can too! and Dreams and the Symbology of Life (author: Jean Walters-Lucy) all available on Amazon.com ENJOY!
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Simple Practice: Small steps to bring more Love into Your Life
Babies radiate love. People gravitate to these beautiful little beings that know only love. We connect with them and want to experience the simple joy of their smiles and giggles. Puppies have the same effect. They automatically love you. You don’t have to do anything to earn their love. It is unconditional and holds no bounds.
This is our true state - radiant love without bounds. But what happens to reduce and diminish us to a consciousness of fear and restriction, of distrust and anger. Somehow we forget who we are, our radiance. Instead of expanding our love to include everything and everyone, we start to retract and become selective. That one has contrary beliefs to mine; he looks or acts funny; they are from a different country.
You love your ethnic group, family, tribe, and religious sect and close out those who seem unusual. We are afraid of folks who look, dress, or speak in dissimilar dialects. Soon we are retracted into balls of opinions, delusions, judgments, and preferences where before there was radiance.
As thinking, rational beings we have the ability to make choices. We can look at the outer shell and project our own insecurities, fear, and unknowing, or we can see the light in each person and recognize that the outer form is just a defense and definition.
Inside there is light (love) beaming its boundlessness and desire to share. Holding in love when it needs expression is painful. Why? Because we are going against what we are – our natural state. We are still babies ready to grin, giggle, and share our inner essence.
Let’s return to that state of innocence and purity by making it a practice to smile at people. That is what babies do. Tell them (mentally, if you wish) how much you love them. You love their light. You love the purity of their essence. Even if they have lost sight of it themselves,. See it for them. This can be your practice with each person you encounter.
See their inner essence of radiant light and love. Bless them with a smile. And, guess what, through the law of cause and effect, what cycles back to you will be love! Take the restraints off and guess what – fear and restriction disappear. It is a choice.
Enjoy!! Jean
Rest as Spiritual Practice
Rest is a musical term. It is a tiny breather (break) built into the rhythmic structure of your life. It gives the beauty of your song a little space that it might expand in consciousness.
Rest, is also a spiritual term. We are told to rest in our faith, rest in Spirit, or rest in the loving arms of Jesus or God. And we are told to “be still and know that I AM God.” We may discern this instruction as “focus.” We are accustomed to thinking of spirituality as hard. Yet the opposite is true. The idea that it may be simple, easy, and flowing is quite foreign to us.
Rest in God means stop efforting. It means allow God to be an intimate experience. Stop thinking about God and let God / the Universe to give you some attention. Relax in your quest!
Receive! Open yourself to receive the concept of God, the Universe, as a kind, open, loving heart or hearth, a nurturing warmth. Receive the recognition that your spiritual relationship if present without effort. This idea that you don’t have to be active, that being receptive, soft, and open is the only requirement may take getting used to.
Animals and babies don’t work to be in relationship with God. It may take some discipline to “not work,” to allow the water level to rise (energy to return) until action again becomes the natural spilling forth of inner fullness.
There is a cycle to life, a recognizable on-off rhythm. When we go with this current, we experience a sense of rhythm or rightness – perhaps centeredness. And when we force action, we experience strain and struggle. It is a form of resistance. Yet pushing or forcing action can be more comfortable as it is the familiar thing to do.
Ambiguity often will breed a kind of anxiety and this discomfort in turn, catalyzes new ways and new directions. Discipline is required to endure ambiguity. This is a learned skill. Ambiguity passes when it is time to take your new direction. When you are centered (through practice) in Spirit, you sense this timing and you honor it.
There are reasons that people avoid meditation. Most think of it as work. They also fear that they won’t do it perfectly. Sometimes they fear what they will discover. Their fear is that they will find out that they are not good. (That never happens.)
What if you don’t have to meditate perfectly? What if you find out that you are beautiful? What if you don’t have to do it at all? What if you can rest and let go and God will do the rest?
Practicing the Presence of God is just that, experiencing the Presence. You think GOD and that’s it – no other action is necessary. It is a form of remembering. Remember your best friend in grade school. Remember the prom or your first boy (girl) friend. God is like this. God is a Presence, like air. We don’t think about air – we forget about God. When we remember them, they are everywhere. It is ordinary and miraculous at the same time.
Another phrase for taking a break is called having quiet time. The only action is to TAKE the time. The quiet does the rest. In the Bible there is a saying, “Come into the Kingdom as children.” It means be open, receptive, and playful. Children rest and play, they don’t work hard. Rest and play can be foreign ideas to most regarding connection and spirituality. However, if we peak at most successful spiritual lives we discover that they are grounded in those principles.
Here is the experiment – it is not official!
Because we live in a busy, sometimes driven world, spirituality can be conceived of as one more thing to put on the agenda. Yet, being “spiritual” is an attribute to add to the list of “personals,” rather than your TO DO list. We try so hard that it gets in the way. So this week, expand your concept of what spiritual includes….. a little more breathing space, some quiet time.
Here are some suggestions to help make it easier:
• Instead of listening to a meditation CD, put on a great Broadway musical.
• Go to a comedy club or a funny movie instead of seeing something that is educational and politically correct.
• Read a great mystery or novel instead of a self-help book.
• Instead of getting up an hour earlier, sleep an hour later or go to bed an hour earlier.
• Instead of adding more to your TO DO list, try taking some things off it. In other words, tackle less. Lower your standards.
• Let God work on you instead of you working on God.
PLEASE NOTE: THERE IS NO OFFICIAL EXERCISE!
Many blessings, Jean
Finding Your Way during Transition
Emily came to me because she was depressed and anxious. She had lost her job (down-sized) and felt like a ship without a rudder or a port. Truthfully, it was not a great job – answering phones, some computer work and record keeping. It wasn’t inspirational or particularly fulfilling, but she did get a paycheck.
As I got to know Emily, she admitted that she never had a passion for anything, or a career vision, or something she was driven to do, but she always liked helping people. She also had a strong spiritual connection and found comfort in solitude.
Those were the two things we decided to build on…. quiet time and helping others. First to deal with depression, Emily had to come to terms with the idea that losing her unfulfilling job was not a great deficit. Her greater loss, in her estimation, was not having structure in her life. She felt lost without a plan or a place to go to implement it. The disposition of the paycheck was really more about the cultural idea that to be paid money for what you do equates having value. Yet, on investigation, there are other ways to be paid that do not involve money. This is what Emily was about to discover.
Thus, Emily started listening to her heart and she took action. She had always enjoyed working at the community food pantry handing out groceries to people in need. And they were so appreciative. So she upped her hours at the food pantry. Then she found another charity that assisted young girls obtain party dresses so that they could attend school dances and proms. She helped this group get organized and devised efficient methods to serve more young ladies.
Plus, there was the bookstore that needed help and Emily loved books. It seemed Emily’s niche was in discovering community needs and filling them because next she volunteered at a home for older folks and visited weekly with some of the residents. And they loved that!
In a few months Emily’s anxiety about “not working” and her depression over not feeling valued was gone and in its place was a radiant woman with a beautiful smile and a heart filled with joy. The weight she had lost due to worry was being replaced slowly and that was a good thing.
Emily knew she had been guided to her new life and the structure she needed was of her own making. Tuesday and Thursday she put smiles on people’s faces as she handed out broccoli and turkey at the pantry; Monday she helped at the “prom dress” charity; Friday she visited the older adults and so on. In the middle of all this, she took up yoga, and spent time in quiet at the local chapel.
The last time Emily we visited, Emily beamed brightly, ”I have the best job in the world and my payment is personal fulfillment.”
Monday, January 23, 2017
How a couple found their way back together!
Recently, a read a story about a couple that was having difficulty conceiving a child. For three years Janet and Stephen Bergman went through fertility treatments in their attempt to bring a child into the world and each month they were left depleted and disappointed as their expectations rose, then plummeted to despair. They were emotionally and spiritually spent. The pain of their “failure” led to angry outbursts, prolonged silence and drinking.
Finally Janet and Stephen decided to start a project together in an attempt to rekindle their connection. Since Janet was a psychologist and Stephen, a Psychiatrist, their idea was to work in their area of expertise – the psychology of relationships. Thus they set a goal, which included each expertise. They would write a play about a relationship. (Stephen had some experience with writing scripts.)
Janet presented the biographies of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. The topic seemed natural since both of them had worked with alcoholics in their practices. They began by studying the story behind AA. Two men were drinking themselves to death, and by finding each other, coming clean and forming an authentic connection, they came back to life and started a remarkable program for healing.
Bill W and Dr. Bob’s story became the subject of the Bergman’s play. Nothing went well. Their working styles were different and they were unable to push aside the deep hurt they each felt. Their thought of working together disintegrated into fights and silence.
Then one summer night while on a getaway in the wilds of northern Maine, Janet saw a notice in the newspaper. There was to be a meeting nearby for Alcoholics Anonymous. They decided to go. In the deep woods of Maine, they came upon a one-room schoolhouse packed with people who looked like they had done their share of rough living. The topic of the meeting was forgiveness.
Janet and Stephen listened as people told their stories of the pain they had created by their alcoholism and how their diseases isolated them and inflamed their character defects. These folks were working the “tenth step” in their program – taking personal inventory and admitting their wrongs. The raw honesty of the proceedings and the profound wisdom that came from it, touched both of them. Janet and Stephen recognized how they blamed each other for their pain and how resentment had eaten away their relationship and they apologized to each other.
As they fell silent in the Maine woods, they were able to connect to what Bill W and Dr. Bob must have felt at their meeting half a century earlier.
“It’s as if they are here. I mean the power of what they did. Together,” said Stephen.
“Yes,” said Janet, “I know, I can almost hear them telling us, ‘You can’t do it alone. Stay in the we. There’s healing in connection. If we can do it, you can do it.”
“ Yes, they are with us, calling us to write their story and pass it on.” And that was the beginning. Janet and Stephen found a power greater than themselves, a power that revived their relationship.
A year after that meeting in the woods, the Bergman’s went to China and brought home their beautiful four-month old adopted baby girl. Katie, their daughter, became the light of their lives. As Katie started high school, the Bergman’s brought her to the off-Broadway New World Stages theater for opening night of their play named for the men who changed their lives, Bill W and Dr. Bob.
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